Journal Entry – The Positive Brain

The Positive Brain …

 … Finding My Deep Keep, Sleep and Feet!

Part 1

Journal Entry -The Positive Brain Directory

Thank my lucky stars for music!

I stopped taking Tramadols three weeks ago this Friday [09/08/19], after being on them for four months for shoulder pain. Of course the Tramadols were of all the tablets the most effective for pain relief to the shoulder. Prior to the shoulder and neck injury or prior to January 2018, l had hardly ever had the need to take any tablets whatsoever. I am not some kind of hard nut who loves pain, but l am anti-tablet or rather anti-chemical in my body…………

For twenty years from my early thirties to my early fifties [30 – 52] l had experienced serious stomach problems which were diagnosed or rather misdiagnosed by the medical profession as being a host of problems, from IBS [Irritable bowel syndrome] basically a fairly common condition that affects many people’s digestive system, to AIBS [Alternating Irritable bowel syndrome] which to the unknowing as l was basically meant that l had IBS with constipation and alternated with loose stool and was constantly sitting on the toilet, to the point that l started to think a good investment might well be in ‘toilet paper!’


By 35 the medical professions were convinced l didn’t have either IBS or AIBS, and then started the investigative journey for more interesting Gastrointestinal disorders and so between 35 – 40 and five hard years of some of the most unpleasant tests and examinations they finally settled on Diverticulosis. However, more unpleasantly through out all of this process l was becoming anemic through continuous blood loss, which had begun in earnest in 2004 and would stay with me till 2014.

At 39 they diagnosed me with Diverticulitis, based on the fact that genetically l had inherited this from my mother’s side. So l started to be treated unsuccessfully for this until l was 42, or rather when another doctor proudly pronounced that l did NOT have diverticulitis and that all the previous misdiagnosis had achieved was worsened my already deteriorating condition and made me more anemic! The real culprit in his eyes was that l had bowel cancer. Yet NOTHING was done on that level till 2009 when l was 46 and by this time, l was in such a position with anemia and horrendous weight loss that l literally couldn’t walk straight and walked in a stoop. I would scream in agony when going through any bowel movements and had developed a dreadful fear of food.

My relationship with food was zero and so l did the worse thing of all, l stopped eating almost altogether and only smoked which further exasperated the problems by around 200%. The doctors and medical professionals were furious with me, but couldn’t understand that by that time l was sick to death of being poked, probed, flipped over, filled with barium meals, x-rayed, blood tested and having to experience some seriously aggressive practices and diets and basically said “Fuck you, if l smoke l don’t have to worry about swallowing food!” They said that l simply had too much stress for my body to cope with and smoking was most assuredly not assisting my recovery.


In 2009 l only weighed in at 8 stone or something, was having to work the animal business and walk five dogs twice a day, and only managed this by not eating anything bar crackers, drinking coffee and smoking cigarettes. One of the prime reasons that l have a husky voice these days is because of my intense smoking for nearly 15 years during the period of misdiagnosis. During this time l did everything to remain as upbeat as l could and steer my positive focus onto getting through each day one day at a time. It was a real headbanging situation, because l was beginning to believe that perhaps l was dying and they were missing this because of their inability to correctly identify what the problem really was?

However that year, l was operated on to remove 8 cancerous colon polyps which they said was a complete success and in truth ten years on and l have not had a return, the worse l might experience now when poorly is an aggrevated and rather annoying hemorrhoid. Prior to the operation and successful removal of the polyps, they had decided that l had Crohns disease, infectous colitis, ulcerative colitis and ischemic colitis!! After the operation, that said l had a problem with my digestive system that they could not successfully identify! They then closed the case on me!


Between the years 2009 – 2012 l lived in the hellbox, and experienced agony every single day from an unknown digestive system problem that no one could identify or wanted to further investigate! They had ‘exhausted’ all possibilities!

When l moved out of the caravan in 2012 l weighed in at 7 stone, terribly thin, stressed, a very heavy smoker and pretty low down on the scale of positivity, with my two girls and basically pretty ill with an unknown but ‘unremarkable’ medical problem in my gut!

Healthwise, 2012 despite all the ailments and problems before that year was the ‘worst’ year of my life medically! That is 7 years ago this month!

Wow, a lot of stuff has happened in those 7 years, most of it repair, recovery and rebuild.

Suze and l started talking in January 2013 as friends and by June of that year we were officially a couple and she then took on board the responsibility of trying to find out from the medical profession what the fuck was going on with my gut? Our first port of call was with the private sector of medical health and despite both of us spending literally thousands of pounds, by March 2015, the best they could come up with ‘”There is something there, but it’s unremarkable!”

I had said to Suze that if l heard the word ‘unremarkable’ one more time from anyone in the field of medicine l would thump them one!

Suze dragged me out of his office pretty damn quick, it has to be said .. l think the moment she saw my fists clench, she probably believed that l was getting ready to whack this doctor one and l’ll not say it didn’t run through my mind … that after all this time 2003 – 2015 all anyone could say was ‘Something there, but nothing remarkable!’

So, all the pain, post 2009 blood loss, weight loss and the endless list and it all boiled down to ……..


Walking out of the office that day of the Chaucer hospital in Canterbury, l was somewhat despondent – most of the days back then, l was beginning to fear food again but still screamed in agony with my gut five days out of every seven, chronic stomach cramps, horrendous pain. Irrelevant to the fact that l was now on a much healthier diet with Suze’s help, smoked way less, exercised more and generally had a very very good way of life ‘healthwise’ but l had this one problem – my gut!

On the 16th August 2016 so three years ago roughly, l finally received a diagnosis from an alternative medical professional. I had tired of the formal and conventional approach to medicine and receiving advice. Our neighbours had suggested Vega Testing’ which is basically a form of electroacupuncture which can detect and does detect allergies, intolerances and other problems such as disease and stomach disorder.

Many people and especially the medical professionals are against this form of practice, stating it is unethical and ineffective but it really comes down to an individual’s belief. As a youngster l was always in support of alternative medicines … because they work! But traditional conventions do not want people using them, let alone believing in them, because it can offtip the formal medical fields. Like some religions don’t like spirituality, the medical profession doesn’t like alternative medicines!


Admittedly l was a little unsure as well, l mean let me get this straight … l am going to have a form of electro acupunture?? But what else was there at my disposal, and what happened if it worked?

It did work! It identified finally a problem l had had from 2003 and detected a host of other problems!

I was diagnosed with Chronic Candida Yeast Overgrowth and it was all related to allergies, intolerances and diet! I was on the path to getting better …

Part 2 soon!

A Guy Called Bloke Banner My Journal the Positive Brain

11 thoughts on “Journal Entry – The Positive Brain

  1. You’re off tramadol and that is something big. They really gave you a very rough ride concerning your diagnosis. Hope you’re better and keep on getting better. 👍😊

  2. It’s so NOT fun going to doctor after doctor and having every test they can think of done, then to be told that there’s nothing they can do….
    8 stone?!?!? That’s about what Ben weighs now.
    I understand the not wanting to eat from my bowel issues last year. I’ve had a weird relationship with food for decades because stress, pain, stomach issues (GERD)…I love food but have to make myself eat. And it has nothing to do with body image.

    Anyway, I’m glad you finally know what the problem is and how to treat it. Beyond sucky that it took so freakin long!


    1. Same here – l love food, [l mean if l didn’t why did l learn to become a chef, right? ha ha] But it got to the point and more so when l hit 7stone that, l just didn’t want to eat any more.

      Stress is a bitch, it’s that simple mental and physical stress combined is the stuff that causes breakdowns, not good.

      But now, and as the next two episodes will reveal, l am back on my positive weight with the hopefully next phase of rebuilding my physical mass muscle weight which has been lost since l guess around April of last year.

      But this is all good 🙂

      1. I’ve started walking in the evenings again. The first couple days showed me how atrophied my leg muscles have become. It’s going to be a slower process than I’d hoped.

        You’ll need to remember to go slowly too. The body doesnt work at the mind’s speed😉

        1. I know, and that’s the big problem, in fact the biggest problem, thinking you can run, but your body is saying Noooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!

          Scrappy bless her is in the same boat.

  3. Very frustrating and being passed around for diagnosis is horrid. Right now I’m waiting for colonoscopy results after they removed some serious stuff. Think I would have been better off just to have the lower half of my body removed altogether in one shot. I went off all meds two years ago. And off a long time use of fentanyl for back pain six years ago.

    1. Hey Cheryl, well firstly here’s hoping the results are in your favour – ye grief l do not miss those colonoscopy’s, l have at least twenty of those over the years, most of them just prior to the cancerous lumps being removed and the very last one in 2015 – l detest them! Literally invasive and doesn’t help if you are sensitive down there as many people usually are!

      I don’t miss the tablets, occasionally the relief of no pain, but this way l am now in more control of my body 🙂

      Hope aside from everything mentioned here, you are keeping well 🙂

      1. I agree. After off fentanyl people told me I was back to my old self, whatever that was! When you’re in constant pain, you can never be who you want to be, not possible. Thanks for commenting.

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