‘If You Are Not the One’
Our relationship started so innocently at first,
A bit of fun for the slackened times,
Unknowing was l, that l would become hopelessly immersed,
And that your appeal would consume my downtime!
It seems like only yesterday, when we began our affair,
When we united as ‘one’ however, l’m none too sure,
But happened it did along the line somewhere,
I became seduced by your digital allure!
Prior to your arrival, l was becoming unhappy,
With my life as other hard corers know only too well,
That time when our fingers no longer dance in beauty,
And boredom finds solace adding to our turmoil!
You came as a suggestion from a good friend,
But with an attached warning of danger,
That if allowed out of control, you could spell my end,
And l could end up a bachelor!
I listened not to the messages of peril and enter at risk,
For l knew my limits, or so l thought,
And that no partnership could ever whisk,
Me into a world of serious distraught!
But l was wrong, and l became seriously addicted,
And found myself longing for your delicious fantasy,
My ‘friends’ deserted me and said it was predicted,
And that with you, l had lost touch with reality!
Battled l did, and shouted how very wrong they were,
What did they know and how could they possibly say,
That it was down to you that l was becoming a vapour!
And that because of your draw, l was losing my way!
You had me from the first opening sequence,
When you drew me into your world of desire,
I realised that there would be no more nonsense,
For now l had something to stimulate my fire!
You caressed me mentally from day one,
And being an insomniac was just part of the dream.
How could l possibly sleep and miss out of the fun,
Of your bizarre yet inspiring phenomenon!
All the others l had known before,
Were flung to one side and not touched,
Lying discarded upon my floor,
For now it was you only you, that l clutched!
You became my living-breathing obsession,
My reason for exploring ever so more deeply,
Into the world you created for me in my possession,
And aroused my curiosity into your mystery!
Hooked l was, my soul craved for more of your golden riches,
Hungered l became, as l delved into your darkened recesses,
Debauched as l ploughed my way through corpses,
Lost within the intricacies of this pure genius!
Now l knew, l could never return to the worlds l had conquered,
Before you came into my tediously filled existence,
For with you, came a new lease of excitement assured,
And my fantasy was now totally balanced!
I could plunder my way through realms and build an empire,
Slaughtering, carnage and monstrous activity,
Were accepted forms of social behaviours for others to admire,
And murderous deeds so foul it was beastly!
But with you, you gave me a desire l had not known,
Was never present with all the other leisure’s,
I had at my disposal before that l owned,
For now l had a totally new eye candy pleasure,
It was true l was addicted with your presence,
Was caught up and cajoled further into infinity,
Of this world of yours of fantastical pretence,
What use to me was the world of reality?
And now, twelve years since we first met and joined,
When l have many characters, created to suit my needs,
And am over run with riches and golden coins,
I ask myself have l truly succeeded.
Tis’ true l am now a bachelor, and have no wife,
My job is fine, and l am very relaxed and happy.
And content with my reclusive life,
But whilst l say l am inactive, l am classed as a social anti!
Is it time for me to release you from our material bond,
Am l to move onwards in the world of real society,
Have l grown tiresome of the shared time beyond,
In the realms and kingdoms outside life’s sobriety,
Whilst l am still very happy with you so near,
I am coming to the final and sad conclusion,
That my obsession with you is relatively severe,
And l have fallen into the squalid pits of addiction!
I am undecided how l should proceed with this question,
Although l will never truly master the intrinsic art,
Of constantly conquering all of the achievements,
In the highly addictive game of World of Warcraft!
But it does make one ponder and think quite hard,
About obsession or addiction interpreted differently by all,
Does it matter at my age and whether l should continue or discard,
This fun packed adventure game, those years ago l did install!
Is it really dangerous for me to constantly play,
Tucked away safely in my abode late at night,
With the occasional dabble during a quiet day,
Waiting for the weather to abate and the days’ sunlight?
As far as absorbing time consuming activities go,
I could be indulging in some other terrible sin,
That chewed up my available income or made me slow,
Like, shopping, gambling or heavy drinking!
I could be wallowing in depravity like constant porn,
Or running tracks up my arms with some powdery death,
Constantly womanising due my over charged horn,
Or even over eating till l lost my breath,
So gaming, or computer addiction as it is now termed,
Is not seen as a dangerous substance dependency,
But still problem enough to cause us psychological harm,
Affecting our mental state, social life and health to a certain degree,
But again l ask myself with my hand firmly upon my heart,
If l am not seeking a relationship or indeed even a romance,
Nor looking to be the party animal from my younger social path,
And am out during the day working with no drop in performance,
Then is it really an addiction in which l am suffering,
Or perhaps more along the lines of just enjoying my free time,
It does not affect my physical health or my mental thinking,
And l am still able to keep the fantasy separate from my mind,
It is a game, that is all, and one that l enjoy,
Perhaps it would be different if l was forever lonesome,
And craved attention from the demanding society,
If l was simply unable to interact and acknowledge outside fun,
Then l would have to ask myself the burning question,
Of whether this addiction was causing me serious harm,
But for the time being, happy and content as l am, my life is fine,
So if you will excuse me, l must now go farm!
© Rory Matier 2016