24th July 2019
Well l know what you must all be thinking …. with all the doom and gloom in my house, or what l tend to call The House of Long Frowns, am l still actually here??
Yes of course l am still here, my 2 legged Long Frowners are starting to drive me insane! I mean it!! The way they are carrying on you would think there is something strange ongoing, l am beginning to feel like a pawn in some kind of wierd pawlitical strategy!
It’s been what since my last episode? Just over two weeks now? Well in my world, that’s pretty good – fine, fine, sure, sure, paw and paw paw … l am not like dad, paw posts up everyday – l don’t have the energy or inclination for that, l have other things to do – like sleep, sleep, sleep, mooch around and other stuff. I get to it when l can, you know? Occasionally l perform in my role as fourpawson which l will have you know, is an extremely impawtant role! Like take yesterday, l was helping mummy dig up the potatoes!
However, mummy like me doesn’t always appreciate the clickitty’s either, and pretended she was a potato plant when dad came out!
Anyway, back to why the Long Frowners are doing my nut in!! They will not let me walk where l want to! I want to go to the beach, the shop, down the hills and all sorts of other places! Dad and mummy say it’s too hot, or my mind should try doing the walking for a change instead of my little limpy wobbly legs and that l shouldn’t listen to my mind!? Honestly how can you NOT listen your mind? It tells you what to do!
Now a few days ago, l had to go back to the awful place! I used to like that place a lot, but in recent times not so much! They are so rude!! They keep poking their fingers into my bum! Of course it hurts, how would you like to have fingers poked up and into your bottom? I am pretty sure you wouldn’t like it anymore than l do!
Dad and mummy say they don’t like it when it happens to me, and l guess l have to believe them, admittedly this time they did have long frowns on their faces when they were talking to the lady who l used to like. I don’t not like her, l just don’t like her fingers anymore! I think that’s fair!
But all sorts of strange things are now happening! Mummy keeps pushing this funny stuff into my throat that she normally uses on the night of the loud bangs and l get all sleepy. Mummy says she is doing this to me to keep me from pacing? Well okay l do pace a lot these days … it’s really strange but at night the house seems to be very different and l sort of well, mm, well l sort of get lost in my own house sometimes – it’s very unusual! I don’t remember the last time l got lost in my own house, well last night, and a little tonight as well. Which is why this is a 2 pawter and not my usual one, but l have a lot to say, and l am still yet to tell you about my missing chicken! But l shall paw that up later.
Anyway, after my lost chicken day, mummy came back from where she goes every morning, and this time she had something else she wanted to tip down my throat!! This doesn’t make me sleepy, but it does sort of give me a bit of, mm well l think it must be something like a booster for dogs or something like an energy shot! Because it smells nice and it doesn’t taste that bad, it’s called cowpoo or something? Which is really strange, because if l was to eat poo on the walks l get told off, but now mummy is squirting it down my throat!? It makes me feel a little bit more happy as well.
“Dude, this is my time!!”
But mummy no longer squirts the sleepy down my throat only the cowpoo which makes me happy! Now l think back to all the times l tried to eat cow poo and horse poo and cat poo and l was told off, but now it’s okay to squirt it down my throat!? So far l have only had cow poo, so maybe these happy poos come in other flavours too?? mm, so because it makes me happy and not sleepy, l don’t mind this cow poo! Dad says he has got some more of the sleepy stuff coming, but it is to be sprayed on me instead of going down my throat??
“I know right … like what??”
Dad insisted on taking clickity’s of me yesterday and l was like dude, stop it already, l am chilling … however that’s all for now, as l am getting tired and need to catch some zzzzeds!! But later l am going to tell you about the burny smelly box, my dad the funny looking scatterbrained dude and more importantly …….. my missing chicken!!
“Dad dude! Still my chill time – go away! No chicken, no clickitty’s!!”
Thanks for reading folks, catch you all soon! So …
Till then, Tootlepip from Doodlepip!
Psss … later on today watch out for “Dude!? Where’s my Chicken!?”