The Catalyst Within …


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… Depression, Devilry or Just Damned – Your Choice.

I wrote this piece several years ago, when someone asked me to pen the workings of three minds of anger if l could …

Forever tired of the growing inside,
Bubbling away, taking everything with a yes,
From hidden recesses deep does it reside,
Awaiting its release, wanting to show its distress!

Ticking always like an unexploded bomb,
Always answering with a yes,
Seething as it does yet remaining aplomb,
Boiling over with its aggressive caress!

And what happens when l will finally blow,
Will it come as the shock expected,
Did you not see it coming, did you not see this grow
Honestly did you not know how infected,
l had become by all that is around,
Always answering with a yes,
How did you miss this gaping wound?
It may be quiet, but build it does nonetheless!

Damaging constructions chipping away deep,
Within the fine intricacies of the darkening,
Of the angry mind, nearing the time of peak!
Planning its escape after months of plotting!
Burst out it will and release pent up carnage,
Upon all those who pass pointless judgement,
Without the right knowledge!
For soon l arrive and l will be pungent!

Extreme prejudice will be the way to success,
Delivered in an execution styled manner,
Intellectual brutal raping and duress,
Of those guilty as sin and whom must answer,
To the questions posed as to why,
Why, they believe they own people’s minds,
And why, they think they have the rights to slavery,
Why, why, they wish to keep this alive?

Collateral damage will be mine to deliver,
To the unwary and unknowing souls,
Bad karma this way comes to those l will disfigure,
Playing Devils’ advocate to your blackest hole,
Abusing you as you have done unto me,
Years of savage accusation have you pledged,
Now l rise again to steal your identity,
My path of conquest now fully fledged!

Thinking you are ‘oh so very clever’,
Avoiding the final outcome of my awakening,
Escaping not have you for now l endeavour,
To end your days with the destruction l bring!
For you have thought me so evil and vile,
Yet with all l see from below,
Triggered me into demonizing your profiles!
Burn you l will, burn you hard till you are aglow!
So long now, have l watched and waited,
Exploring your worlds of ancient technology,
Teasing you all with trickery that l have baited,

Never content to just let things be
You fall victim to your own greed and lust,
Cherishing not what is around you in abundance,
Tearing apart and leaving to rust,
Away, squandering for the sake of advance,
Yet l have watched and laughed and smiled,
Knowing my time is nearing,
When l may rise up again and defile,
Your stupidity and non-seeing,
Eyes, with which you have kept blind,
To the likes of myself and dourest misery,
For l am coming to obliterate your kind,
So you just continue to be you, and l, l will just be me!


“There is no darkness, but ignorance”

William Shakespeare

© Rory Matier 2013

32 thoughts on “The Catalyst Within …

  1. Oh MY. This is jyst amazing. You have said ALL that I feel too. A bloody brave poem. Can’t find words enough to praise it.

    1. Hey There Blindzanygirl – many thanks for your praise and comments – yeah, this one l loved myself, it bit deep, it came from deep and it lashed out even deeper 🙂

      Some people struggle with the reading, but to those who can read it with ease and understand where l was when l wrote it and how l was looking at it distinctly to deliver it, will like you appreciate – so thank you 🙂

        1. No, there is not enough hours in the day for all of this Kat, l am just so tired, constantly tired, and having to take on board loads and loads of information too quickly.

          My Sister lumbered me with the job, and she hasn’t a clue of what is involved with it all. If dad’s paperwork had been remotely orderly this would not be the uber task it has become, but it isn’t and it is huge as an undertaking.

          The tablets l am taking really cut deep into the pain but also make me very tired, especially towards the evening and that makes the task even harder. I have an appointment with the solicitors on Thursday, and l am still simply trying to find the basics.

        2. Well I must say I admire you for taking it all on, especially after the way your family has treated you. I know for myself I’d be keeping my distance from it all and letting your sister do the hard yards. I really hope you’ll keep all that in mind and not let this become a priority detriment to your own health. Take care.

        3. You too Kat 🙂

          It is just another stress on top of an already stressed household, l figure if l can get this bit out the way, it is at least me showing willing and once done, at least it is done properly.

          My sister doesn’t have the savvy for this kind of paperwork, and whilst that sounds nasty, it isn’t not really, she has never liked paperwork, she prefers practical 🙂


    1. Hey Carol Anne, glad it has helped. We are there at one point or another, just ticking beneath the surface, being polite and biding our time, but someone comes along and pushes the damn button a little too far.

  3. Too bad I can’t double or triple “Like” this… I’m glad you keep bringing out for new eyes. It really is very expressive of the bottled, impotent anger we all feel at times. 💌

    1. Oh how l know, as you do, as do many others – glad you continue to like it Angie, even if you can’t continue to like it, if you know what l mean 🙂

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