… Of just being human

Right now…..

Not just this minute,
But much, much deeper and acute,
More detailed, internally infinite …

I am tired,
Divided
Mentally expired,
Fried,
Emotionally tied,
Dried inside,
Unknowing,
Slowing,
… and showing,
Exposed,
 … and closed,
At the same time,
By design,
… of just being human.

Is it just conditioning …
Or behavioural Interpretation …

The translation of that thing..
We bring to the table, the plateau of consciousness,
Of distress, we fail to address,
Treating it like an abscess,
Refusing access, to avoid mess!

Is that it?

Or is it the …
Crashing of thoughts, emotional confliction
A dereliction,
Of a mind fighting from within,
The morality of direction,
Encompassing of thought.
Taut and fraught,
 … of what one ought,
To think,
Within when out of sync and to allow a mere blink,
Of the mind,
… of just being human.

Alone with our thoughts,
… reflections upon a deeper understanding,
… or is it just a failure to want to understand,
… of making sense of the senseless?

Why?
A defence mechanism, perhaps, maybe, who knows, not l!

I don’t know, l know not,
What,
It is,
… and why the mind insists on this,
And yet it does,
Creating catalytic analysis,
Because ..
… of just being human?

Maybe we are not supposed to understand,
To comprehend the unplanned,
… it’s just the way that things unfurl,
Within the diversity of the universe,
Is that what’s going on, perhaps?
To not have the internally whirring knowledge of the cracks?
Adding to the upsetting confusion ..
… of just being human?

© Rory Matier 2019

 

 

“There is some kind of a sweet innocence in being human- in not having to be just happy or just sad- in the nature of being able to be both broken and whole, at the same time.”

C. JoyBell C.

 

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