Sometimes, like now – yes right now, this minute, this minute’s now, as in NOW, yeah NOW! I am so edgy, my head feels like it’s on a tight rubberband ready to snap! I ‘m like a cat on a hot tin roof, my brain is a pacing up and down, and l just want to scream at a wall to get my balance back!
Depressed? Is that it??
No, it’s worse than that it’s an uncontrolled adrenaline rush combined with distraction and a lack of concentration! It’s a brain that is trying to do too much and yet cannot stabilise on one single point for long enough for the body to catch up!
My mind is an explosion of colour, loud colour, crashing noises , a cocophany of colourful sound
If l could bottle this shit, l would be a millionaire!
Mind you, if the damn feeling was able to be bottled, it would be worth nothing, because it would be too damn still!
A lot of people fear this ‘shit’ and don’t want it their lives – l do, l just need to direct it at something! This is your mind talking to your mind and it’s your mind on speed trying to Mortal Kombat you! My mind’s waking up and my body is still asleep and l am yelling at it!!
Wake the fuck up dude!! Ride it!!
Yeah! It’s not always easy and quiet in my mind!
“Sometimes we have one chance, to ride that wave, one opportunity to jump on, take a deep breath and feel the rush of adrenaline. . . don’t miss your chance.”
“When you have butterflies and you’re feeling anxious and you have anxiety or are nervous, that’s when you’re most powerful… A lot of people, instead of honing this power and using it, they allow it to just consume them. There’s another quote that says, ‘A big challenge, a big pressure is like a fire, it’s like a raging fire. Either you can allow this fire to consume you and just take you over completely, or you can gain control of this fire and harness it and you blow it right at your opponent, Dragonball Z style.’ That’s what I’m trying to do, trying to get my emotions under control and use this adrenaline to my advantage.”