Dear Blog – 18.15 – 15/07/19

Out of Sync perhaps but not out of Whack!

I am very tired today, it’s my own fault of course, l am really sluggish and l do not feel 100% in top top shape, not physically anyway, and whilst sure l am positive, my brain seems to be stuck somewhere else. It’s going to be one of those days as well. However looking at the positives from the negative, l am sitting here thinking “Rory you have got to get your shit together, this isn’t really the answer is it? Sitting here like something from a zombie film!”

I woke up Saturday just gone at 9.00am in the morning. Got up and showered, made a light breakfast and then finally Scrappy woke up at around 10.30am, and l took her out for her small walk. Little did l know that something that Saturday was going to cause me some kind of strangeness not sure which in truth. Friday night’s sleep to Saturday morning had not been easy,  so maybe l should have seen this coming?

Who knows.

See, l got to bed later Friday night or rather Saturday morning – the time was 1.41am, l had been trying to improve my sleep pattern for the last week, so 1.41am, was actually 30 minutes too late to bed. The previous nights l had been managing to retire to slumber between 1am and 1.30am and arising again at around 7.30am. So maybe l should have seen that as a bit of an alarm bell.

It didn’t help that my sleep was restless from that time as well, the last time l remember seeing was 2.25am and then l guess l fell asleep, but l had nightmares for the night about of all things flesh eating raccoons! Not the most pleasant visions to have in your head l can tell you . But l awoke at 4.15am to pain in my shoulder and needing a pee, got up, took 2 tramadaols had a pee, went back to bed, then didn’t fall asleep straight away and my night of up and down just continued like that till l arose at 9am Saturday morning, figuring l had had perhaps at best an hours sleep all night.

However, my belief of ‘l’ll make it up tonight’ was foolish! I didn’t make my sleep back, because the reverse happened, l was more awake than l had been in ages – now what l should have done was been a grown up boy aka an adult and gone to bed but being a dumbass l slipped back into my old nightowl ways of believing of going to bed when l was really tired because that didn’t happen, and  l saw the sun rise Sunday morning!!

Shit! Double shit, you absolute twit Matier! Was an expression similiar – not precisely but similiar – to what l actually said!  So after a lousy night’s sleep Friday to Saturday l did the typical me thing and stayed awake all night and l was awake till ………….. 3am this morning when l could no longer even hold my eyes open and went to bed!


I awoke this morning at 9.11am … 43 hours awake is something the 26 year old me could do  and did frequently, but the 56 year old me felt like death warmed up and then murdered this morning when my positive legs swung out of bed, leaving my head and brain still on the pillow.

The first coffee of the day resembled something akin to Dudley Moore after the dentist and drinking coffee at at the cafe in 1979’s 10 … remember that scene? Well that was my coffee this morning, how l missed my mouth is quite beyond my comprehension, but of course why am l surprised?? My head and brain were still on my pillow!!

By my third attempt at coffee, l was starting to think that maybe l should just give it a miss, clean up the mess and have a shave and shower which were bound to wake me and make me more refreshed and then take madam for her morning walk! We eventually got out  at just past midday. I suddenly remembered not that l had specifically forgotten, but got my times jumbled up that Suze was home today from Australia.

I had been watching her progress last night on her flight, and so this morning l wanted to make sure the house was not spotless, but looking tidier, as really it meant a jolly deep clean hoover needed to be performed, when you live with a forever moulting dog hoovering is a really important part to housework and the last time l had hoovered the house was Friday.

Scrappy in the meanwhile was panting and pacing and throwing a strop on because we hadn’t gone for her walk, so it was all good times indeed!

Suze got back at around 3pm this afternoon, looking sleepier than l was .. you know that look after being cooped up in air flight for 24 hours? The sort of comical 1000 yard stare with moon eyes? Well Suze had that look which made me feel even tireder!

I had started to pen this post at 1.15pm ready for the 3.55pm slot, which was completely missed anyway, because at 1.20pm, l had said ‘Sod this for a game of soldiers and went to bed for an hour – which turned into a reality time of  … well l awoke at 2.55pm, went to the toilet and Suze walked back through the door after her lift had dropped her off!

Here l still am writing the 3.55pm slot post that l started at 1.15pm at 6.05pm!! I am still sleepy as hell, l still feel shitty to boot! But, despite everything and applying my “to find the positive out of the negative” configuration, l am actually really happy that this happened to me – because it taught me a superb lesson making me think more to the line of  Out of Sync perhaps but not out of Whack!

I will discuss this in time, just not this time! But it’s a valuable lesson and inspiration indeed! Great to have Suze back!

Dear Blog ……

26 thoughts on “Dear Blog – 18.15 – 15/07/19

  1. My mom used to use that exoression, like death warmed over…how horrible. Think I’ll look up its origin : ))

  2. Death Warmed Over (Up), Like. Looking ill or exhausted. The suggestion is that you look only slightly better than if you were dead. The phrase appeared in the _Soldier’s War Slang Dictionary in 1939). In _Death and the Dancing Footman_ , Ngaio Marsh wrote: “I look like death warmed up and what I feel is nobody’s business.”
    From The Dictionary of Cliches_ by James Rogers.

    1. Yes that about sums up exactly how l felt and looked. I am still not right nearly 12 hours later, but l have colour back in my cheeks 🙂

        1. Ha ha – now that is so funny 🙂

          Suze has come back from Australia with a cough and cold ha ha – l can stay home and probably still end up with something -but you are spot on when we are overly tired our immune systems drop to the minus levels 🙂

  3. I so understand the lack of sleep! Usually, I can fall asleep easy enough after taking some trazodone, but for some reason I delay my bed time later and later and later. I used to have wonderful sleep hygiene, and then last year, I woke in the middle of the night and couldn’t fall back asleep and it’s been that way ever since.

    1. Hey Barb, l seriously need ti improve my sleep hygiene – l like you have allowed it to go from bad to worse to diabolical to there is no name for it. But my prime focus this year is to bring that back into shape as they say ‘you can teach old dog new tricks’ it’ll be hard as l have problems with sleep and insomnia since l was ten 🙂

      1. I used to go to bed at the same time every night, and get up at the same time every day. Maybe if you do that, even when you’re tired/sleepy, it will readjust your circadian rhythm, I think it’s called.

        1. Yes, well that’s what l was trying to restabilise last week before my brain stepped on board on Saturday night and said no.

          I think what caused the start of the break, was last Friday l tried to go a day without any Tramadols at all as well. I have been taking four for weeks in my gradual ‘wean off’ system, and thought ‘why don’t l try none’.

          Having none in the system certainly explains the nightmares that night and waking up with shoulder pain, l am back on four a day, but next week l will drop that down to three.

          It’s annoying before this shoulder injury started, l never used to take any chemicals what so ever, even for a headache l wouldn’t take a paracetamol. i am mostly a herbal remedy and medicine guy, so l am eager to get off the chems, but l think l weaned myself off way too quickly even for a trial.

          Oh well live and learn.

          1. Indeed. I’m sure people have suggested this, but have you given melatonin a try? It’s a supplement, not chemistry.

            1. Yes, l have got that on line, l have to make an appointment with my doctors however to get it prescribed. I am also going to be making an appointment for Suze and l to see a dietician and a nutritionalist to see if we can tweak our diet more. Suze ”gets” sleep but has always had poor sleep and l have always been restless.

              But yes good reminder Barb 🙂

              1. If you’re interested, there’s an app called Sleep Cycle that tracks your sleep, how deeply, how long you snore, etc. I have it on iPhone, but maybe it’s available for Android.

              2. Oh l don’t have a mobile phone Barb – l literall have a Desktop computer it’s funny, l am currently creating a 24 hour blog question as we speak, titled “Do I really Need A Mobile Phone?”

                It’s not that l don’t have a mobile, but l never have a need for one of the fancy ones as l hardly ever use it. But Suze has a new FitBit l got it for her for her birthday and that tracks all sorts of things 🙂

              3. Wow! I don’t think I know anyone anymore who doesn’t use a smartphone lol. That’s impressive!

  4. One thing I was told about sleep that I’ll add to the comments is that you shouldn’t have a bedside clock, or if you do, turn it around when you sleep. The reasoning is that you look at the clock when you wake up, then you’re waking up to look at the clock. It did help me when I was waking on my own. Now I have other problems. Hopefully that will sort out soon(ish).

    Out of sync & out of whack…Interesting…looking forward to your thoughts!

    1. I have two clocks. I have an old fashioned wind up which sits away from the bed with an extremely loud ring, which is the most annoying thing on the planet ha ha 🙂

      The digital is a bright orange colour and then fills the room at times with a dull orange glow and l love it.

      When l sleep l can sleep with lights on and especially if there is noise. So when l am asleep l am asleep and it takes if not a natural wake up then a bomb explosion to get me out of bed.

      Yes l am also aware of the no clock ruling, but that principal according to a sleep technician who told me about it is ideal if you are on a very sound and solid pattern of natural wake up. If you go to bed routinely at the same time every night and you are getting your mind and bodies ideal sleeping pattern timed correctly, then you will naturally wake up when the mind and body are in perfect harmony with each other.

      Sadly most of us don’t live that type of life anymore, our heads are buzzing.

      Some people say don’t use any computers an hour before bed and allow the body to wind down naturally or read. I have now found that not to work. Because it’s not usually the sleep that is my problem, because l can actually sleep – the biggest battle l always face is that l don’t actually want to sleep.

      So for other reasons now, l have to force myself into a more efficient routine of working my sleep pattern.

      Perhaps one day there will come a time when clocks will not matter or even regular sleep patterns and l am not dead already but so chilled out that the regularity matters not 🙂

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