Live Like An Eskimo


Live Like An Eskimo

Never once thought did l,
That l would ever live like an Eskimo,
So you can imagine my surprise,
Discovering the truths behind my abode,
In the summer time, l live in a hot box,
And that is fine, no complaints,
But in the winter, l live in an ice block!
That is full of constraints!

When the wintry weathers do fall,
And ice, snows and chills settle within,
My homes’ two inch cell walls,
Realise do l, that l need an extra skin!
Trust me, it’s bad enough,
When the cold freezes you outside,
But my goodness,, it’s really rough,
Temperature wise when the two collide,

Nearly colder in, than it is outdoors,
Takes some getting used to,
Miserably dampened air and floors,
And a non-flushing loo!
Water frozen in pipes for days at a time,
No hot or cold for basic joys,
This is when it’s no longer fine,
And sorts the men from the boys!

Sitting in the graces of chilled airs,
Makes you reflect upon everything ..
With your arse frozen to the chair,
So as to not disturb the heats upswing,
Looking around the caravan as oft l do,
Wondering who l upset in life,
To be this deserving of the coldest blues!
And wintry curses and strife!

But perhaps it is just fitting,
That l should find myself in such a fix,
For my writing takes a macabre downswing,
And Gothic and observation intermix,
With romance an’ humour with a touch of frost,
Comically looking into all things ghastly,
And touching the surreal and downright lost,
Not forgetting, and of course not lastly,

Writing about nature and her pleasant ways,
Sunsets, rises, storms, snowfall and ice,
How she keeps me glued to her will for days!
Praying that the next day will be nice,
For it has to be said, wintry living takes its toll,
Upon the life of the igloo bound Eskimo,
Especially toileting into a frozen hole,
It truly a learning experience you know!

Be smart and take my advice,
Go and live in a house of brick,
Not in a tin box made of ice,
In the backwaters of the sticks,
And just to let you know,
In summer it is truly wonderful,
But in winter, it is for the Eskimo’s,
And is cold, freezing and dull!

If someone ever suggests to you,
That residing in a forty foot caravan,
In winter is great fun, l tell you now it’s untrue!
Take it as gospel from this snow bound man!
Living like an Eskimo, in the shire fens,
‘Tis not fun, no not all – ever,
Especially when it gets to minus ten,
An’ sleeping without freezing is your biggest endeavour!

© Rory Matier 2012

20 thoughts on “Live Like An Eskimo

  1. There’s no way I’d survive that. Especially now, with the fibromyalgia, I can NOT handle extreme heat or cold. I’m very lucky to live where I do (although it’s horribly expensive) because cold here means I have to wear my thicker hoodie and my ugg boots. Snow is something to go visit, or look at in pictures 😄

    1. Yes l always figured that the best snow was the stuff you looked at in pictures. Before moving to Lincolnshire my experience of snow was just like the postcards, pretty to look at, but that was my limit. With the caravan, and temperatures that could plummet on the fens to minus 16, l saw snow as not so lovely anymore lol!

  2. Wow. So nearly twenty years ago I lived in a tent-trailer for one year as I was building my log cabin home. This was in rural Idaho, in the mountains. I don’t recommend it. Then a couple years ago, lived in a wall tent here in Alaska for a year, same thing building my last log cabin that didn’t get done before winter set it. I also don’t recommend that. All this to say: I commiserate.

    1. Oh yeah, awaiting house construction especially as winter moves in, that ‘gotta’ be cold!

      Hope you are keeping well Compo although l should call you Tara – so now it’s Compo Tara 🙂

      Am tagging you shortly for 321 🙂

      1. -20 F with just canvas separating you from the elements. I slept in three layers, hat, mittens, four quilts…. no source of heat. Just… cold. Yep. Don’t recommend it.

        1. Yes, l used to sleep in several layers, in fact working outside was in 6-8 layers and inside 4. The problem is that when the cold bites into you, it can take years to shift.

          When l moved out of the caravan in 2012, it was in 2015 that l actually started to feel warm in my bones again.

    1. I didn’t actually have a choice Sadje, it was home for myself and the dogs for just over three years, we had to make it work, even when it was the most horrible time in my life, house wise 🙂

        1. Yes it was, l would like to say it made me harder at the time, it didn’t it nearly ended me, it made me harder when l left it. Back then was a story of survival 🙂

        2. That is the way it works. It is a cliche to say what doesn’t kills you make you strong but it is true in most cases.

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