4 Paws Diary – Ep 41

Episode 41

4 Paws Diary

08th July 2019

Zombie Shut Down

Hey Gang,

Ok well did l enjoy my ‘Box Call’ with mummy? Should be the first thing l address?

Yes, no, maybe, perhaps and possibly but in reality …… l am really not sure!

It happened according to dad, last Sunday .. yes you read that right, it ‘happened according to dad’. The reason l paw it that way, is that’s not how l happen to remember it, but dad says that is it how it happened anyway. According to dad, mummy rang through the box from down under? Now l have a problem with that already actually. You see l was down under anyway, where all the squigglings things that are from dad’s kompootah live. I know that because l was laying down under the desk where dad has his kompootah and all the boxes, and mummy was not there, noooooowayyyyy! Otherwise l would have seen her and l said this to dad and he looked at me like l was some furry critter! He said of course mummy was down under, she was way down under the down under l was on top of!

Mm, well yes exactly, how is one supposed to battle that with logic? I mean it’s not like l can be any more under than l aready am when l am down under the desk. But he said that is where mummy was? Which then l have to ask, if mummy is down under my down under, why is dad not down under with me, but way above me on top?

Anyway, dad then said that mummy called him through his boxes on the kompootah from down under but it just came through the above top! I never heard anything, but suddenly dad was talking to himself again, and when l looked at him above top from my down under, he looked down under at me and said mummy from down under my down under was talking to him in the above top and would l like to have a word with her?

Well of course l wanted a word with mummy l said, l wanted to know why she and the orange box were not here with me and dad? Dad said ok will do and then he went back to what he was doing on the above top and it took ages, and ages  and ages and l went to sleep. But dad woke me and said mummy wants to talk to you now, so are your listening ears on?

Well l had just woken up, and here l am asked if my listening ears are on, when my listening ears are already on? I just looked at him, like he had completely lost the plot! Shook my head as if to say what a nutter, when he went to his up on top above position again and when he looked back down under to me he had some furry animal in his hands that was either very good at not moving or ………. dead!!

“You’ll need to put this on to your head so your listening ears are on, then you can hear mummy. Without them you’ll not hear a Dickie bird.”

What? Dad wanted me to put the dead furry animal on my head, and now l discover that this furry thing is called a Dickie bird? So, l thought nope, not happening and promptly got up and walked away and lay down again in the doorway. So dad then did something to his boxes and came over to me with the Dickie bird in his hands and put the Dickie bird down beside me and asked me to smell it?

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Well you know, l don’t mind some things and l happen to like smelling things, but this just looked odd and made worse by the fact that dad then put this dead Dickie bird on his head and said it is how he puts on his listening ears??! Then to make matters worse he said if l want l can call them cans?

Why would l want to call some dead furry Dickie bird cans?

It’s creepy what these  2 leggeds get up to, let me tell you! So in the end l didn’t actually speak to mummy, although when dad had his furry dead Dickie bird cans on his own head, and l was passing him on the way back to my down under, he put them beside my head and said, listen you can hear mummy!

Oh right, let me tell you about that tinsy bit of excitment shall l?

Can you understand what l paw next  ………….~., “^ ……**”_-,;~!

Which to give you all a sample of what that sounds like here we go, ‘It was really strange and sounded like a little bird sliding somewhere probably downwards and scared “minininininininininininie” but really quiet and small, oh so very small!?

Well l looked at dad with open eyes and l knew, yes gang, l knew then that dad wasn’t right! How he derives any kind of conversation out of speaking to something like that is quite beyond me, and he thinks … poor dad … that he is speaking to mummy! He’s delusional! But l am NOT in the slightest bit surprised, because of the next part of my story to you all – Zombie Shut Down!

Dad tells me that a Zombie is some kind of 2 legged creature that walks the earth when it’s dead and eats other things, mostly other 2 leggeds but would also eat 4 leggeds!! Which when l first heard him tell me, l was like “Noooooooooooooooooooooo!!?”

I looked up this zombie thing on dad’s kompootah the other night when he had fiiiiiiinallly gone to bed and found this!

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Well l have never seen anything like that, apart from the times that dad wakes up sometimes before he rushes off to make water in the small room in that funny round thing on the floor. But that aside l have never seen anything like that around these parts! It’s not like you could miss it either, because according to dad they make noises like “Graah, and Rah and Rowarrh and Ooohwererer! Which strangely enough!! Sounds like dad before he rushes off to make water!!

But anyway, dad first told me this strange tale the last time mummy was away. He told me when l asked him why he was closing all the curtains in the house when it was still light outside?? He said “Zombie Shut Down Scrappy, we don’t want them seeing us do we??”

Well l thought, they will not see me anyway, unless they are outside in the garden! I am not like dad who is taller than me. Does make me giggle a bit, it means that if they see dad first, they eat dad first! Phew!! Then l can run away and , errr – yes look for help!!

But this time that mummy is away the light outside is on longer than the last time when the light outside was on for shorter! So l had to tell him off, and say “Dad, we are not supposed to be in complete darkness when the light outside is on longer surely? I am going to have to stamp my paws down and say NO to the Zombie Shut Down when it is still so light outside. If we can see them when it’s light, we can take action on the 2 legged zombies when it happens!”

Well l won that fight, he looked at me and said “Okay, have it your way … if we get attacked by 2 legged zombies at least l have you to protect me eh?”

Again l barked out loud “Bol Bol!” Little does he know eh gang?”

Anyway, l have gotten used to the fact that mummy is away but she is back next week sometime, l think dad said on the 15th which is a week today, whatever that is, but for now, dad and me have to take my walk and then do some gardening, so l’ll paw you all later!

Thanks for reading folks, catch you all soon! So …

Till then, Tootlepip from Doodlepip!

me two

26 thoughts on “4 Paws Diary – Ep 41

  1. You have got it right about Suze not being “down under” Dad should make things clear for you. Nice to read your post. It’s hilarious.

    1. I know Sadje, l know – but what can we do with him – however if there are any zombies lurking behind closed curtains l have a few ideas …pssst zombies over here, 2 legged wants to meet you 🙂

  2. Hey Scrappy, I’m very glad that you pawed this post because Zeus had a question for you and I’ve just remembered. We just had a holiday with fireworks which make terrible loud bangs that hurt his ears and made him think we were being attacked. I know you have a spray for when the thunder gets loud at your house, could you ask dad what that spray is called? Zeus was very upset trying to chase down the source of the bangs. He barked and ran and barked some more.
    Thanks Scrappy!

    1. Hey Grandma – oh poor old Zeus 🙁

      I can so totally relate to that! What mummy and dad tend to use with me is basically a Rescue Remedy spray. Now there is one for dogs specially, but mummy did her research and found out that the 2 legged one is just as good for we 4 leggeds and is at 2 legged price [cheaper option] than the one for 4 leggeds [more expensive], but holds all the same properties – so mummy squeezes a few drops into my mouth and … yep zonked out and with the pixies, impas, fairies and all other mystical creatures according to dad.

      Hope this helps

      Scrappy

      1. They do well it here. The adult version has alcohol?! we’re going with the kids version, which is same as pet version $10 for 10ml. We’ll give it a try. We don’t get thunderstorms but fireworks/firecrackers and backfiring cars, anything the booms… We tried Benadryl and that didn’t help, so we’re hoping the drops will.
        Thanks again Scrappy for the umm…err…rescue👍

          1. The alcohol is okay then? My ex used to give our first K9, Darlin beer sometimes and she loved it but I wasn’t sure it was good for her. If the alcohol is okay then I’ll try that one because Zeus REALLY needs some mellow during the bangs.
            You are just a wealth of information Scrappy! Thank you.💌

            1. In consideration to the level of alcohol that is present, in other words miniscule – of course reflective to which brand you get Bachs l think is 40% whilst the one we use is 26/7% – they are very tiny amounts of extracted percentage wise. Rescue Remedy l think uses beer, whilst Bachs l think uses Brandy or some grape alcohol.

              Then we get more complicated – the original RR did use alcohol, variations afterwards such as the spray are Alco free. Most manufactuers label their ingredients differently, but if you are heavily caught up on the alco sides then the advice is quite simply ‘you are overthinking it’ – that’s how miniscule it is. I remember years ago having a conversation with a dog owner who wanted to report me for allowing one of our dogs to have a bowl of cold beer once every three months, on the premise that l was maing that dog an alcoholic!!?

              I used to know a dog that drank bowls of Guiness, and l have known of pub dogs to drink bowls of beer. Does it have any detrimental effect on them? Well the k9’s would have to guzzle inordinate amounts to have a serious effect on them, but the occasional bowl of beer and the occasional use of RR, or Bachs or Kalms it doesn’t effect them that, way, in comparison to a human who would n’t notice it, it is just the occasional bit of alco present that can calm a dog, cat and child down.

              Personally when l use it [Rory] which is rare l tend to view as a human as almost a placebo effect, and yet Suze uses it all the time and swears by it, but l still think in human terms it is the mind that can persuade you more.

              But l do know it calms Scrappy.

              The alco free ones can also assist as they use more natural herbal extracts that can reduce an animal’s stress also.

              They are ideal as a remedy for thunderstorms, vet visits, stress, fireworks, car journeys and so on and work wonders 🙂

              Pleasure Grandma 🙂

      1. Yes, Scrappy, it’s a full-time job. Oddly our two-leggeds don’t appear to trust us with close contact with the chickens so we have to do our security patrols behind the fence, and check everything is as it should be. Very peculiar creatures. We don’t know what is the more baffling, two-leggeds or feather-leggeds! 🐶 🐶 Molly and Teddy

        1. Hey Molly and Teddy.

          I know what you mean, my dad doesn’t trust me with anything like that. But l keep telling him to not worry – l am just looking , and, and when dogs are not smelling things well we have to taste them … and that’s when l am led away???

    1. Hey Dawn, thank you very much 🙂

      Yeah well you know, l have told dad time and time again, that he needs that furry calibre present – so l guess l fill that niche pretty well – so thank you 🙂

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