Slippery Leapers and Slimy Suckers!
The Tales of The Frog, The Spider & The Snail!
Everybody has fears or things they are afraid of. I know l do, l have two main fears and in this order …
1] I fear something untimely happening to either Suze or Scrappy that is completely out of my control.
2] I fear having my throat cut or being in a situation when my throat is cut.
Everybody and their mother have and has fears. Some people are scared of the dark, others fear clowns, l know people who fear being eaten by sharks and don’t even swim in the sea, l know others who fear fish or lizards and it is quite irrelevant what anyone says about about a fear, because like stress, the fear is different to each individual it’s purely reflective upon them.
I always thought that Suze’s two main fears were dying by fire and dying by drowning. Pretty awful fears really, but most fears are awful to the person who fears that particular thing.
Sometimes we don’t know another person’s fear until it comes to a time when it jumps out at you!
Suze used to think l was scared of slugs, and that’s not true, l am not scared of slugs or snails, l just don’t like 1] seeing slugs because they remind me of snot and then l can sensory taste them in my mouth and l hate treading on snails [you know accidentally like] barefoot! But it’s not a fear per se, it’s an aversion to those things. But l never knew that Suze had a fear of the two things that l write about in this tale.
I discovered them almost by accident a few weeks ago during the height of our snail invasion – you may recall, that we were or l was having to go out almost nightly on Snail Patrol. Well thankfully l have had to do too much of that in the last couple of weeks. but at the same time back then, we were having some seriously heavy rains. With the rains out come a whole host of creepies, slimies, suckers, leapers and crawlers and put like that alone is enough to send the shivers down a lot of people especially on a dark night barefoot in the garden like is the natural footwear for me! Of course there is always the mozzies as well, and no body likes them whatever the weather!
But on the first night of the heavy rains and the first night of the snail invasion it was Suze and l out together hunting – after that night – it was mostly me, because of the incidents!
On a small side note, whilst l was writing this post l went outside of a snail hunt and came across only three, since my big hunt where upon l collected 300 or near to, and dumped them into the compost heap the main bulk have stayed in the compost heap where l saw recently a fairly large slow worm sunning itself, and it appears that l have made the worms happy as well as they eat snails so l am pretty happy with them being in the compost as well. However what l did come across was this monster measuring at around 7″ but l have a renewed respect of the Leopards since l discovered they are eating slugs which is cool in my books even if these brutes are also slugs and slimy slippies!
These guys have a top speed of six inches a minute when chasing other slugs. As it was l watched this fella for two minutes and he wasn’t going slow!
Anyway …. that night. The first thing l noticed was Suze picking up a snail, and she was creeping out about it. I said darling just it up by the shell. But she was like, no, no, no, l can’t pick up these things they just creep me out. but they’re not slugs babes, they have a shell, they’re not so bad?
Well she had been fumbling around with a twig, and eventually got it on said twig and was about to dump it into a piece of no man’s land which is a small strip of unused weed garden between our house and the next door neighbours, under the guise of ‘if they want to eat something they can eat the bloody weeds!’ However in the process of dumping this snail it started to crawl up the twig towards her and she was ‘Ooooh it’s moving , oooh it’s moving!!”
“Just dump the lot, twig and all then?”
But then the snail fell and landed on her shoe and oh my, l thought l was bad with slugs in hand and snails underfoot when their shell is crunched. I was so, so wrong to think l had it bad! Well she squealed like l did with that spider the previous night and that was funny l have to say folks – considering how she had laughed her rocks off at me with that spider!
So l learned something there, that Suze was afraid of snails which was kind of interesting ……….. and of courzse funny! But that wasn’t the biggest laugh of the night. In fact it turned out to be a bad night for Suze and the catalyst to her not wishing to do too many late night snail patrols for the future.
We decided to go into the shed just to check that with the seriously heavy rains we had been experiencing that it wasn’t leaking. Suze was on the latches to the door and walked in and turned on the light … so far all good, until l moved something and out jumped this thing half the size of my fist and suddenly Suze was squealing and jumping up and down and was not a happy person. In the ten seconds of commotion, and with her jumping up and down on the spot like she was a faulty washing machine, l hadn’t even seen what the problem was? What was all this about?
There was this brown wet looking thing in the corner between the door and the side of the shed about 3″ in width x 4″ in length and l thought it was a wet leaf. Well that was me laughing yet again at Suze jumping over a wet leaf! So l bent down to remove it and stop her hollering when it jumped at me and l was over joyed! Suze was most assuredly NOT!
“It’s a frog, it’s a frog, it’s a frog!!” She squealed.
“Yeah it’s a beauty isn’t it, look at it, we have a few in the garden next to the toads and l have never seen this colour before! Did you know that frohs can walk on their hind legs and don’t always jump?” I said like a six year old.
“I don’t care, l am scared of frogs they freak me out!!” Suze squealed again.
Well l will not deny l was shocked at this tidbit “Nearly six years together and only now l discover two things in one night, you are freaked out by snails and frogs? who is scared of frogs? frogs are brilliant, they are a gardeners best mate – l love frogs we have quite a few characters in this garden, you know that right??”
“I don’t care if that frog is best mates with the bloody queen, get rid of it!!”
Well l did find it all somewhat funny, and obviously with two deep secrets discovered in one night, Suze was best unimpressed with my laughter! “Well who is scared of spiders then? You squealed when it was on you running over you the other night!”
“So too would most people be, l am not scared of spiders, but that doesn’t mean l want the sods running up and down my body in the dark? Who thought they were going to end up swallowing one of the things?”
We sparred and spat at each other for a couple of minutes more and then just burst out laughing at each other … “Let’s compromise darling, we each have a fear of crawlies in some way of the other, everyone does.”
Suze was content at that, but still … she doesn’t come out at night anymore, and oh no way after the rains!
So who is scared of frogs then?