Blind Date Confuddling


Blind Date Confuddling

It’s wrong to stick my hands there???
But they are mine and they were itchy, so there!
Nothing wrong with a good old scratch!
In the nether regions amongst the thatch!

What do you mean inappropriate?
Not bad behaviour at all, just straight!
Good Lord, think that’s bad do you?
Scratching my bits is nothing l assure you,

Am guessing you would be unimpressed then,
That l ‘best’ at bad, over and over again,
My account with Facebook was closed,
A misunderstanding of some poetry l composed!

Someone said be more evocative and explicit!
Literally l responded with adulterous and illicit!
Nay it was not so much closed, more scorned upon,
So on a break am l, away from the niggling carry on!

Folk can be so bizarre at times, two faced!
Seriously why do people act so straight laced?
Bit of fun l was having that was all,
Expressing my inner emotions albeit sexual,

Why do people act all innocent and wide-eyed?
Like sex is a dirty affair, best left inside,
NO! Sex is seriously great fun, its fab!
Stop treating it like it’s a subject only found in a lab!

Beating around the bush, not for me,
Well it is if l am honest to some degree,
But l am digressing back to sexually,
Sorry about that it just sort of slipped, naturally!

Meant did l, that l work in the black and the white,
Not grey areas at all, logically does not feel right!
What? Lower my voice, to a quieter tone?
Oh yes l see we are not alone,

I am just excited is all, thought l‘d explain,
Asperger’s can be at times hard to constrain,
Behaviourally we don’t quite click with the crowd,
You have just discovered we can be loud!

Sadly yes, l am known at times to be quirky!
Talking of which, my, yours are perky!
Are you at all cold or just pleased with me?
Was just asking is all, not acting childishly!
Bit extreme l have to say to use the word hate!
Good grief what do you expect from a blind date?

© Rory Matier 2012


25 thoughts on “Blind Date Confuddling

  1. Funny stuff!
    I will say that I find too much scratching and readjustment of “the boys” a little annoying. I mean, does the guy need medical attention or something?? Perhaps a wash?? That would be a check in the NO column on a first date. LOL!

  2. Loved this – well written and brought a smile to my face multiple times and a few chuckles too. Thanks for sharing!

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