Dedicated to my buddy Fandango of This, That and The Other
Dear Mr Duck,
I love nothing more than to dabble,
Not to be confused with dribble,
Like dabbling with words, like Scrabble,
Where upon you can dibble,
When dabbling, but not to just dab,
Could be interesting alone, maybe even fab,
To take a bite out of a bit of a nibble,
But not to cause too much sticky dribble!
The beauty with words like dabble,
Is it’s a strange word reminds me of babble,
But not bubble,
That’s different, that’s not trouble,
Although, is dibble and dabble, a dobble?
Like what’s that then other than a scribble?
Or is it more than that, is it then a wiggle?
Do we then mix our words when dabbling,
Is that not just useless babbling?
I mean not to be fickle,
About dabble, but if we jiggle,
It a bit and perhaps make the word diddle,
We can then have daddle, doddle and twiddle,
…. and then twist it sidewards to make twaddle,
Flip it over and play around a bit and we’re back to dabble!
Oh and by the way, it’s my tail, and I will damn well wubble if l want to!
Dear Mrs Duck …
Good grief Madam Duck, what a load of twoddle,
I only asked if you would be so good to waddle,
But oh ho, ho, ho, you had to get at me and hit back,
With that diabolical diatribe wrapped up in fancy quack!
You are causing our social pond no end of trouble,
With your insistence for this new trendy tail wubble,
We are ducks my love, one proud drake and his hen,
Forget yourself not, you’re not a feathered comedienne,
Cease this at once and start to act like a proper duck,
Not some wannabee swan running amok!
Come on back and all will be forgotten and forgiven,
We are ducks of the pond, not chickens!
I await your answer, my love …..
Just read the above …
And let me know.
“Diabolical diatribe wrapped up in fancy quack!” Did you just say?
I cannot believe that you said that to your loving hen!
My advice to you Mr Prudish Duck, is to keep out of my way!
Otherwise you might find yourself awkwardly adorned in cayenne ..
… and mixing with some really tasty vegetables and herb!
You must be careful My darling Duck, not to further upset or disturb,
My sense of balance, adventures and zeal for wanting to explore,
What else there is to life, this cannot be it surely there has got to be more?
Is this to be my lot, choring over constant eggs and ducklings and some nest?
You best improve your outlook buddy, otherwise you’ll become a pest!
I want more, l want to adventure and to explore the waters of our lands,
Not just waddle around looking the part as your bit of fluff!
Hens need to unite against their boring drakes, make a stand!
So be very sure oh ducky of mine, am l serious or all bluff?
You keep pushing and criticising me, and you’ll find out sure enough!
I am being so far very calm and polite, but l too can play rough!
Your choices are simple and here they are, wise up or duck off!
Up to you Mr Duck!!
Mrs Duck, l do have to disagree, l am not that bad a Drake!
I honestly didn’t know how you felt, it was an honest mistake,
Why can we not simply adopt some kind of compromise?
Putting all this behind us, otherwise l feel we may jeopardise,
Our seasonal pairing, our moment of blissful monogamy,
And over what waddling, wubbling or even just bobbly wobbly?
Fine, walk how you wish, shake your tail feathers with pride,
Preen yourself to the great pond above, slide or glide,
Honestly matters not to me, l have no true wish to argue the toss,
Be who you wish to be, be happy, be the hen, be the boss!
All l wanted rather selfishly was to be a simple but happy Drake,
I didn’t sign up for this nonstop quacking and an irksome headache!
All l can do is most humbly and sincerely apologise,
I meant not to cause you concern and fill your eyes with such despise!
We are together till you lay the eggs, then l am gone!
You’ll not have to panic yourself further, once l have withdrawn!
Raise the ducklings however you see fit,
But don’t make me out as some kind of chauvinistic shit!
I do however feel, l need to talk to that Duck Fandango,
For putting this idea into your head and causing this fiasco,
This unnecessary humdrum, and annoying rambling babble,
All over some silly human word, what was it again …
… Oh yes, Dabble!