Dear Blog – A Right Twitchy Mish Mash …

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A Right Twitchy Mish Mash & Day Two of The Vape Trail!!

I am not quite sure what’s going on!? But something is … but, l am not sure what! But something most assuredly is! Currently l feel like l am stuck inside a washing machine or sitting on the rollercoaster ride from hell! I want to scream, but l don’t want to scream! Is it purely the effects of sleep deprivation? But l am not tired, but l am horribly tired. The world feels like it is 100% overwhelming and l am going for a breakdown but l am not!! Like what on earth gives??

This week, l am completely out of whack with myself! My synchronicity is mostly sunkoshitty and that’s really the way to sum it all up! Sunkoshitty! This week it’s not just content with being my last name, but my entire name – So hello everybody my name is Mr Sunkoshitty!

Pretty sure now, that this Mini Cooper is not just cursed but hexed to boot, or rather from bonnet to boot! There’s something about it, that l think Stephen King might be interested in!

It’s been another one of those weeks – this now makes five weeks of the style of ‘Seriously what the shite is going on with life at present?’ Of course it’s not helping that l am not just tired or overly tired, but in many respcts it’s not just tiredness but horribly deshevelled mentally in the tiredness department. My usual go to bed time is now l guess nearly 4am and l wake up around around 7-8 then get up. But l have started hallucinating, like mini hallucinations!! One minute l am awake and working on something in the computer, l start wake up and l have different screens in front of me??

I mean same screens, but different images. I might experience twenty of these new starts for a period of two hours. I am not tired, then l am so seriously tired all within the space of around ten seconds, that l fall asleep for perhaps thirty seconds to ten minutes and wake up, my screens are dark and when l bring them back to life, they are showing me something else!!?

Making matters somewhat additionally irksome is this involuntary twitch finger in my right hand. It just keeps pressing the mouse button all the time now, click, click, click, click, twitch, twitch and even more blooming twitch! So without even knowing it, l now have countless edit errors without even knowing it, or l twitch and fall asleep and wake up, and struggle to be awake, fall asleep and my hand twitches in the twenty seconds, wake up – start, stop, twitch, nap, hallucinate, error, wake up!

Aye, it’s a nightmare without being a nightmare, so it’s a spot nap something or the other and l don’t like them!

My shoulder is the reason to my twitchy finger and my pudgy fingers are obviously playing havoc with me. More annoying is the fact that l don’t have podgy fingers to begin with! Do you KNOW what l mean? Is THIS, making any sense? I ask, because l don’t know if l am actually awake or if l am asleep! I am quite serious about that! More worrying is that l have taken to speaking to myself considerably more than normal, so that’s alright right? But l am speaking to myself in Scottish, and then l answer in a French accent! Or a Scottish accent with a French affliction! It’s way worse because l cannot speak with any fluency either of the two accents!

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I have not been snail hunting since the 287, but l should start again l suppose!? Been a busy week of sorts, well l am pretty sure it has! But l can’t be 100% sure, because, well because, because!

The Mini Cooper is in Ebay again, after the guaranteed buyers backed out, the third pair of guaranteed buyers walked away? Hardly guaranteed then! But nothing is guaranteed in this world – nothing!

I have tried different things this last week with the blog, to varying degrees of success, more on that, maybe another time.

Right, if by this time, you are somewhat confused – good, that’s intentional, it’s to try and display to you, what my week is like inside my head. As in, one minute sense and the next nonsense! That is of course, provided that l am awake!

I bought a new computer, quite the beast. I mean l have a beast, but it needs servicing and refurbishing and then l am going to sell it. It’s a custom built gaming machine as in the old one and not the new one. I am selling my old gamer, because l have stopped gaming. This week finally after five months from making the decision to leave World of Warcraft back in January – l did leave it. I uninstalled the game from my gaming beast!

It had taken me five months to sell absolutely every piece of stock that my characters owned. I finished off with close to 9 million gold. I have given up before and given my gold away to friends, but this time is different – this time l mean it, l’ll not be back. My days of gaming are not over, but they are greatly reduced, and l have no immediate plans on ever returning to MMORPG’s again and if any gaming is to occur, it will be pc bound only.

I started playing World of Warcraft in 2004, and with a couple of breaks of perhaps 2 years in total of not playing, never once did l ever uninstall the game from my pc, ever! I simply took time out. But l have now uninstalled. That’s a clear positive sign that my online gaming days are done and dusted.

Time, have you ever noticed how when you are young time doesn’t move? Yet when you are older doesn’t doesn’t seem to be ever slow again? Is that just me that thinks that way? Nope, we all do and more so the elders amongst us. But where is time going? Why is time simply disappearing like time never existed in the first place?

Currently l am day 2 or maybe 3 of no tobacco. I have given up, so l know my agitation is going to be a little quirky! But l am most assuredly giving up, stress or not, overwhelmed or underwhelmed is irrelevant – l am giving up, and despite Suze asking if this was the right time to give up, l am giving up! Gave up Friday, not had tobacco since then. Today is third day, not touched tobacco. Well not in so far as smoked nicotine in a rollie! I have reduced nicotine in my vape. But l am not smoking again – stress or not, it’s not happening!

It’s been an awkward week, and this is a crazy kind of post, but l am glad we have had this discussion – thanks for listening! Well reading isn’t it? Not listening, unless you are reading this out to yourself whilst reading it, then you are listening, so therefore YES we discussed it!

Splendid stuff, catch you later!

Dear Blog ……

10 thoughts on “Dear Blog – A Right Twitchy Mish Mash …

  1. I actually understood all of that. That chronic insomnia will wreck havoc with you! Even with my meds, I have times when I’m only getting 3-4 hours a day and sometimes not all in a row.
    I don’t know what the tax laws on inheritance are in UK, but maybe you could donate the mini to a charity for a tax credit? Get rid of the cursed thing.
    I talk to myself all the time. Speak to the most intelligent person in the room, right?!

  2. Good for you for quitting smoking! It’s been over 22 years since I quit, and I feel like I have never smoked at all. Good luck!!

    I used to love playing the games in the Elder Scrolls series, which are RPGs. But then they came out with the MMORPG version and it all went downhill for me. I miss playing, but I don’t like having to rely on others to complete a quest.

    1. Hey Barb, I am determined to pack up for good this time. I quit for 15 months a few years ago then restarted to where l am now. Medically l have got to quit. Suze is a non smoker, and has never smoked. But even l don’t miss smelling like an ashtray, so this time l have got to make it happen for good 🙂

      RPG’s and ESO, yes l have heard that a lot with ESO and the fan base from pc games to online. Like you l prefer solo game play, luckily in wow l could do that, but you simply couldn’t do the dungeon side of things until you got higher than the dungeon itself, then it was simply defeatist.

      I have never understood why game creators seemingly always think everyone wants to be social, when the reality not many true soloists/introverts wish to game with anyone else.

  3. Bonjour Rory it was good chatting with you 😳 I hear you, same, same! Take it easy buddy, just go with the flow.. au revoir for now 🤓

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