Perilously I Ask – Is it just Me?


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Perilously I Ask -Is It Just Me?

I mean is it just me, that is totally bemused,
By what women want these days,
Or do others look upon this, just as amused,
As they try to configure the womanly ways?

Now dating is a hard enough game,
To begin with, let alone an actual Website,
Where one has to create a non-lame,
Profile, that is alluring but not quite!

You have got to be seen, as polite,
And genuine, the real McCoy,
Not forgetting intellectual, scholarly and bright,
And you must be supreme to the average local boy!

Above all, you must be a modern day gentleman,
Not some kind of rough shod hood,
Player, shark or wild man, like Tarzan,
But understanding, romantic and also old fashioned?

You have to be able to listen and comprehend,
That you as the male species are never right,
If you wish to be successful with the women you wish to befriend!
And for them to consider you a bit of ‘alright’

It helps if you can be humorous, funny and witty too,
Being in shape, but not overly athletic is a bit of a must,
To always be positive, charming, honest and never untrue,
Able to communicate in more than one syllable, and someone to trust!

For some you must be their knight in shining armour,
Others are more specific and expect you to be their soul mate,
Attractive but not over developed in the department of amore!
Punctual and responsive and never ever late!

In truth, the ideal man on these dating Websites,
Has no flaws, and must be totally perfect,
For the list of must have and do is a hell of a fright,
And to achieve half would make you an addict,

Is it just me, or are these Websites a bit like the horse market,
Or in fact closer to slavery boutiques, where upon,
Ticking the checklist before opening ones’ wallet,
Same thing, except here, most of the browsers are anon!

I am confused it must be addressed,
That everything in these Websites has to be so, so,
Except that to remember so much leaves me stressed,
And still none the wiser or in the actual know!

I mean in the real world, because lest us not,
Forget, that despite being real people,
This is a virtual recreation of what’s what,
On the Internet through our cable!

I mean is it just me, that is totally bemused,
By what women want these days,
Or do others look upon this, just as amused,
As they try to configure the womanly ways?

Looking through the profiles as l so oft trawl,
Cannot help but think that perhaps some take the pith,
For their own profiles also lack stunning enthral,
Yet they expect so much from others hence with!

Women seem to forget l think it is safe to say,
That if, they are smiled at by a man in real life,
Out in the street, they too return that smile straight away,
Understanding he is not looking for troublesome strife,

Yet here, if you are foolish enough to proffer that gesture,
Dismissed are you as a bit of a twit,
Or some other form of lecherous bachelor,
Who is up to no good, and must be a shit!

Nor is it simply safe to say a simple hello,
For you must have a remarkably witty introduction,
Displaying that you are the perfect fellow!
With the incredible sense of wordsmith doctrine!

Yet l cannot help but openly laugh out loud,
As to what some women offer in profiles and photographs,
With their sparseness of written description and face so enshroud,
And they have the gall to say they seek another half!

Come on, ye Gods, stop with the psychological pretence,
You are just as clueless as to what you actually seek,
As are we men, whom have to respond and wait in suspense!
For you to decide if we are worthy of your alluring mystique!

Personally, l like profiles from women, which show a bit of cheek,
Intellectual, funny, sarcastic too, shows me, who they are,
Not hiding behind the screen falsely working on their critique,
But these are the profiles l enjoy the most, for they are at least ajar!

Allowing a non-dim witted man, to venture and gently probe,
Without being dismissed or ‘tutted’ at like a hoodlum,
Looking for a cyber-quickie or an instant disrobe,
But who seeks like them some honest conversation!

I know l am no oil painting, nor am l the catch of the century,
But at least my profile is truthful and down to earth,
Showing the viewers who l am without appearing beastly,
And yet displaying that l too have intellectual mirth,

However, l mean is it just me, that is totally bemused,
By what women want these days,
Or do others look upon this, just as amused,
As they try to configure the womanly ways?

I think what gets to me the most, is the absolute rubbish,
Delivered on these Websites’ today,
When people forget how to speak and act so darkly fiendish,
And in sometimes dishonest ways!

When all is said and all is done,
Remember this the most,
Dating and meeting girls is supposed to be fun,
And being seen as a bit of alright is still the grand toast!

© Rory Matier 2011

30 thoughts on “Perilously I Ask – Is it just Me?

    1. Thank you 🙂
      Sadly it is true. Our society has become incredibly demanding, and we forget in most things that really what life is about is just having fun, and that there isn’t always a hidden agenda.

        1. That be great 🙂
          As said, when you have free time, there is no rush, no deadline, when you feel comfortable and especially when you have a few minutes 🙂

  1. Wow! Great poem that perfectly describes the predicament we have put ourselves in…. I second Ray’s sentiments. We are confusing ourselves beyond recognition and repair. 😱🤯🤕💔 i send you 🕊🎶

  2. Your poem is full of common sense with a sense of humour as well. I enjoyed reading it.

        1. Excellent, better than here – before the weekend we had the snows, then that vanished and then we had the rains, and now, yes now, did l say now yet?

          We have grey misty moist shit – otherwise known as early spring British weather 🙂

  3. Excellent observations and I always love your poetry. The sad thing is, I don’t think most people know what they truly want and, therefore, search for these ideals society has set and are disappointed when they find humans instead. And humans pretending to be what they are not, even worse!

  4. Love this fun review Rory, I have never been on a dating site, but this is just how I imagined it to be. Now I know 😀

  5. Oh wow…I’m not sure about that websites but definitely nowadays we all are asking too much…we need to learn and accept each other how we are and not trying to be someone we’re not…great words though 😊

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