Post Revisited, Reedited, Reworded, Reblogged From May 08th 2018
Social Currency – Defuq!
“You cannot be serious. You CANNOT BE SERIOUS!”
Do you know, what l like the most about WordPress? The community. It is distanced and yet close, in your face and yet, not! It is comfortable social interaction and engagement that works best for me, because at my own concession, l will freely admit to being somewhat socially inept and awkward – l am not perfect!
But come on, who is?
These days too many people are so used to lip service that they have forgotten what a real honest down to earth black and white conversation actually is. They hide behind the veils of grey confusion and manipulation so often that when someone speaks candidly they are no longer equipped to deal with it. Many a time common sense is thrown out of the window.
On many occasions l find l must spell out to people what my limits and boundaries are ‘socially’ and more importantly WHY they came into being.
“I don’t mix with huge volumes of people all at once.”
Can it not get any simpler than that one line above?
And yet, still we have people continually expecting more of me, or trying to get me to obligate to things l am uncomfortable with. Why do people do that? Why is it that much of society lay these huge ASKS at people’s feet?
I have a design that says ‘Being social is overrated’, l drew this up, because that is how l honestly feel about being overly social, perhaps what l should have designed and maybe l will is one that reads “Overly social people piss me off – now fuck off!” but l thought that might come across as a little too blunt!
Temple Grandin has a lovely quote, which is apt here:
“In an ideal world the scientist should find a method to prevent the most severe forms of autism but allow the milder forms to survive. After all, the really social people did not invent the first stone spear. It was probably invented by an Aspie who chipped away at rocks while the other people socialized around the campfire. Without autism traits we might still be living in caves.”
Late 2017 l joined a ‘work from home business’ called Kleeneze, which would’ve been ideal for me l figured, l would distribute catalogues through letterboxes and if people wished to buy product they could and if they didn’t – well they wouldn’t. But the social interaction would be manageable as it would only really involve engagement on a small 1 – 1 or max 1 -3 people at a time and l knew l could cope with that.
However, somewhat ironically and atypical to my luck is Mister Jinx walked on board all my hard work, and literally a few days before l was readying myself to deliver 250 brochures, the company went into the hands of the administrators!!
Which was a bit of a pisser!
Now Kleeneze was just a business, to me it was just going to be a job, and potentially a relatively good income earner – it worked on the ethos of you get out what you put in, and to a robot like me, that was a no brainer, l could work the hours l wanted and reap the rewards of my labours. So to lose it was somewhat annoying, as l need to produce an income to keep the 3’s at bay ‘food in stomach, roof overhead and bills paid’, like most people.
However, there was another side to Kleeneze, and that was the ‘networking’ aspect, or l should say the social networking side to the business’. People who work for Kleeneze reputedly enjoy the social family side. Well there are two words together that l struggle with … social and family, l am orientated towards neither. But l tend to watch events from the side-lines.
It was potentially a nightmare for me, so whilst annoyed that l was that business went under, perhaps on the other side of the coin, it served me well. Later this year l will starting a work from home business of my own and l will not have to worrying about being overly social to people l don’t know, don’t want to know and have no intention of ever knowing.
I take more of the practical realistic and pragmatist approach to motivation, not the gung ho approach, but each to their own. If it gets the job done, then so be it … right? Whatever rocks your boat, is fine with me as long as you don’t expect me to be rocking it with you with bangles and balloons on!
These days, l don’t even go into town if l can avoid it, there are just way too many people. Do not get this confused with l can’t cope, l can cope pretty well, but people en masse just piss me off by being people en masse, so l tend to stay clear.
I don’t need to attend a social fraternity get together to motivate myself, l can self-motivate.
What did piss me off at the time it was ongoing, was that l had to literally spoon feed my team leader almost daily to what l could do and what l couldn’t and she seemingly either didn’t get it, or me or didn’t care for someone who wasn’t social. I don’t use my Asperger’s as a daily label, or an excuse, it’s just part of who l am – but l haven’t spent years upon years getting to know me, only to go and deliberately don masks to cope with society just to please someone else. I tried to explain to her that l could do the job perfectly well, but there was no need for me to be overly social and false. it was after all just a bloody basic job!
People who piss me off the most are indeed those who yell at me, “Stop using your bloody autism as an excuse!”
Which really frustrates me, as that is not the case. You don’t ask someone with claustrophobia to stand in the centre of town on a busy day for obvious reasons, nor do you expect someone with a broken leg to go hurdling, any more than you expect someone suffering from depression to be present in an environment that could cause a trigger.
The way l am is not just spectrum orientated either, l live a quieter life in a small countryside village, l mix very rarely these days with more than 3-5 people at any one time, and some days apart from Suze l don’t see another living person. I am not concerned with my own company so it matters not – l don’t need to be people fuelled to get through life.
Defuq – why does everything have to be so seriously and unnecessarily overly social? Our world wasn’t built on sociality, it was built on individual minds knuckling down and getting on with shit!
How about you, what are your views on the overly social of this world?