Classic Rory Matier
I am better these days, l am more current, l am more topical, l read more news, l manage to keep up to speed with the world ……. but l wasn’t always this way inclined! Two small, but totally true tales from 2009 and 2011.
In 2009 January l visited some friends of my then girlfriend, and as was typical me at the time – if l am bored by the conversation, l switch off and fall asleep. The conversation was boring, and l performed my usual trick and fell asleep at 6.30pm and l was asleep for over three hours … imagine my surprise when l awaken and there on the television in front of was none other than Gordon Brown. The newscaster was telling the listening audience that the British Prime Minister was blah blah …….. now l know l had been asleep, but my first thought was “Gees how long have l been asleep for??”
l suddenly declared .. “That bloody newsman’s not much good is he? Everyone knows Tony Blair is PM?!”
The people in the loungeroom including my ex-girlfriend just looked at me in shock. “You are a funny guy – ‘everyone except YOU apparently knows Gordon Brown has been PM since June 2007!?’
“Oh has he? I admittedly don’t follow human politics that much.” I mumbled.
Which wasn’t that far removed from the truth, l was very big on animal administration, and could tell you more about their politics over what humans were doing!!
In 2011, or what l tend to call the Days of Hell and what others referred to as Rory’s Caravan Days, l remember seeing something in Facebook, and l commented “Poppycock! The Queen’s Mother is still very much alive, alivo!”
To suddenly becoming bombarded by at least 50 hyperlinks to the Queen Mothers funeral in April 2002, having died at the age of 101 in March of that year!
Ooops, l suppose doesn’t even really cover blunders likes these!
Even today, Saturday 4th May 2019, l was in the kitchen with Suze, and she was talking about something to do with work and how she had to get it done. I answered with, well you can sort it Monday.
Suze just looked at me and answered “Good grief, this is what happens to 1] people who work for themselves from home and 2] Aspies who don’t care much for the etiquettes of society and work from home!”
I looked at her asked her ‘What on earth are you on about?”
For her to answer with “Duh, this weekend is a Bank holiday weekend, have you forgotten there are two in May??”
The truth is days are pretty much the same to me, every single day is just a day, l tend to ignore the Mons, Tues, Wednes, Thur’s, Fri’s, Sats and Suns! All l know is they all end in ‘bloody day!’ My week is comprised of oneday, someday, everyday, another day, today, yesterday and of course not forgetting tomorrow!’
Another ‘oops’ to add to the pile!
“Some mistakes are worse than others: wearing your underwear inside out isn’t as uncomfortable as wearing it back to front.”