Can Cook, Just Wont
I am by far and far the world’s worst cook!
Schooled by professionals and not by the book,
But do l care? No, l don’t!
Can cook, just won’t!
I should be completely and utterly ashamed!
And the way l act, perhaps flamed!
Skilled in the arts of the culinary delights,
Yet l don’t even feel the slightest bit contrite!
Trained and qualified as a chef you see,
Dear God, yet l see cooking as a blasphemy,
Well especially when cooking for a mere one,
Bloody hell, like where is the fun?
I could create the most fabulous roast,
But what’s the point, when there is toast?
Just as enjoyable, and bloody easy,
Instead of preparing the Sunday joints and getting greasy!
Oh, the dishes l have conjured up in the past,
When there were two of us and l could be arsed!
Now l am more inclined to make something simple,
Involving less kitchen aggro and much more blissful!
Why go to all the unnecessary bother,
Of lingering around the oven with feelings of ardour?
Awaiting the readiness of certain ingredients,
Just seems to me like time misspent!
Sometimes l contemplate making Spag bowl!
Then l think fancy fish dish with a bit of sole,
Or perhaps making an exotic curry mix,
However end up going for a much quicker fix!
Of late l have to be brutally honest and say,
That just eating from day to day,
Is becoming quite the chore,
Actually cooking the damned stuff even more of a bore!
Making life even simpler is more of a creative art!
Than striving to deliver the perfect a la carte!
But now l think l have cracked the perfect bachelors menu,
Coffee, cereal and toast see me through!
Okay so to the outsider it is maybe not the best!
But for someone like me, it’s so easy to address,
When asked why it is that cook l don’t?
I safely answer, Can cook, just won’t!
© Rory Matier 2012