4 Paws Diary – Ep 37

me two

Episode 36

4 Paws Diary

28th April 2019

Appawrently, l am both booloo and a K9 Bully!!

me two

Hey Folks, [ we must talk in whispers ok]

Yes it is late, but l thought l would paw up my episode early! Dad fell asleep again at the pc whilst doing his postdated’s and l just managed to wake him up [l do that by deliberately knocking into his legs and it nearly knocks him off his chair], so he finished doing them and has now gone to bed!

Good news, it might not be sunny today, which means no bath although l heard Mummy and dad plotting last night, they are planning to capture me with the new spiky gloves and brush me. So l figured by staying up late and pawing this entry that l might just be asleep when they try to brush me … ha ha call me booloo! I mean here’s the spiky gloves they got .. took me ages to find them, because they are being kept high in case l ‘shred them’ as if l would ………………. well maybe l might!

HandsOn Medium Bathing/Grooming/SheddingGloves, De-Shedding Gloves for Horses/Dogs/Cats/Livestock/Small Pets

HandsOn Medium Bathing/Grooming/SheddingGloves, De-Shedding Gloves for Horses/Dogs/Cats/Livestock/Small Pets

The last month has been awkward for me, for two reasons which l shall discuss now, but let’s keep it between ourselves ok?

Because l have been acting very strangely with my behavious and attitude, Mummy suspects l might be a little booloo! Dad wonders if l have this thing called ‘doggy demencha?’

I haven’t l am practising my covert K9 ninja tactics exercises … which means doing things that make me look well l suppose the term might be … a little odd … but it’s part of a very clever ploy, in case l am ever needed to be a tactical K9 and serve my garden!  I have been having lots of troubles with the magpies and woodpigeons, especially the pigeons … they are ALWAYS on my land .. and l must see them off!

They say that l am losing the plot …. l say it’s all a clever ploy!

They say that l stop dead and stare at fixed points when l am in the house and there is nothing there … l say l am practising the skilled art of motionless stance!

They say when out in the garden l am doing the same thing and staring into space … l say l am becoming one with my environment!

They say l am walking unnaturally slowly at times … l say l am practising stealth manoeuvres so that the pigeons just think l am part of the garden!

They say l am forgetting things like when l was last outside and insisting on dad or mummy opening the door umpteen times to let me back out into the garden and back into the house … l say l am working on my  mind over 2 leggeds matter and exercising my superiority as a K9 master ninja! [I mean … hello who is opening the door to let me out and back in umpteen times?? Not l!]

They say l am a K9 bully because l expect them to be in the same room as me when l eat late at night, but not when l eat during the day … l say, well who is the bigger fool? Not l, a dog will never go hungry and I am the master ninja!

Mummy says l am a K9 bully because l wake her up during the night for no reason at all … l say it is my absolute right to do so as the supreme K9 master ninja that l am as well as l am the one providing night security patrols! When l saw ‘wake up’ then you had better wake up. when mummy demands to know why l don’t wake dad up? i have to say l choose to wake mummy up and NOT tell her the truth which is trying to wake dad up is like trying to find the lost city of Atlantis during a tsunami – simply put it’s impossible when he goes to sleep he may well be dead!

They say that l am incredibly clingy … l say l am NOT, it is ALL part of being a ninja – it is the art of shadow stealth!

They say l am becoming too routinal … l say route is everything about being meticulous and organised!

They say l am being manipulative and coersive because if l cannot achieve success with one of the 2 leggds to get my own way, l will go to the other and play them off against each other … l say they are 100% correct!

They say l am so defiant – that l ignore them and pretend to be deaf and to not see them …. l say yes, this is how warriors are made – l am becoming one with my essence!

They say l am creating my own static and become sparky … ha ha l say it’s working, l am learning the ancient skill of electrocution by thought – those pigeons, those ruddy invaders on my lands will not know what has hit them! I will be supreme, masterful, l may be old, but l am a master ninja K9!

So you see folks it ‘s all part of my clever strategy based on precision K9 military tactics!

Unless of course l am completely wrong, and the reality is that l am an old dog who all going well will be 16 this year, and whilst my mind is still like that of a puppy, my body is saying whoah hang on there girlie you’re not as young as you once were, that l am going deaf, a little blinkered very stubborn and routinal because of old lady dog syndrome and l just want my mummy and dad to be with me all the time because l love them so much and that l feel safe when they are with me.

Yes l know l can be frustrating, but l know they love me, and we are all family and that’s what real families are all about, but we still stick together and love each other! My 2 leggeds are my world and l am theirs.Plus mummy gives the greatest head rubs in the world they are enough to make anyone a little booloo!!

But on the other side of life – hey we all gotta have dreams right? Plus those pesky pigeons are on my land!

As dad’s asleep and snoring in the next room, l am going to create a post with some of my favourite music!

Catch you shortly with that and next month for my new 4 paws diary episode!

Till then, Tootlepip from Doodlepip!

me two

20 thoughts on “4 Paws Diary – Ep 37

  1. Things seem to be favoring you, Scrappy. Rain means no bath! Keep up the good work, not ninja warrior

        1. ooh so you have my bad too, but then when l am not a ninja, l am alas an old dog with poor eyesight … in dad’s eyes he would say something like my own doggy smell is blinding me!!

        2. Well we are all ageing together, but obviously l am older than mummy and dad by the very nature of being a K9 more years per 1 year of theirs, we have all grown together – these are two very different things that many people become confused at l feel.

  2. Sixteen is far old enough to have a bit of forgetfulness now and then, and peculiar behavior shouldn’t be limited to humans (they’re peculiar ALL the time, so now & then isn’t so bad). I sincerely hope your mad stealth skills continue on for a lot longer, but then if you’re tired and feeling it, well your mum and dad will know when your life is less than you deserve. Ms. Hunydog came to that point in February, even though she was only going to be twelve in June. Time creeps up on us all, but I suspect you’ve got a lot of life left in you Ms. Scrappy!

    1. Hey Melanie, well mummy, dad and l have all sat down, we did this early last year, and we discussed end of days, l said l would let them know, and they said they would probably know before l let them know. BUT l did say , don’t be making any hasty decisions until l let you know.

  3. scrappy! How are you today? Your so fun! I want to come play with you! You and me would have so much fun and we’d raise a little hell in the process! <3 love, nitro!

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