Dear Blog … 10.35 – 17/03/19


Express Yourself!

I have had a bit of a wobbly belly today! It started to arrive around the 4pm mark, l knew it had finally arrived because of the fanfare!

I wish l was a quiet farter, but alas l am not – l am a noisy beast! I fart long, hard and loud and today’s were no exception to that ruling, except today’s smelled terrible. Additionally, l have been to the toilet since 5pm to 9.30pm 4 times and left a package of some merit with the Throne each time – where on earth does it all come from??

On my last visit however – Scrappy forever in her quest of being the faithful toilet companion, looked at me during my loud farting opera and l could see it in her eyes, that even it was too much and she made a hasty retreat – which is rich when l think back to some of the nasty puffs she has dropped in the past!

I must have farted at least a dozen time before actually doing anything, and every time l do fart l always say ‘Excuse Me!’ however imagine my uttermost joy when Suze calls in through the door …

“Mm, aren’t you the noisy one tonight darling, if it is of any consolation though … here are 7 amazing health benefits of farting!”

1] It’ s great for your colon!

2] It helps to stave off bloating!

3] The smell is actually healthy!

4] It means you have both a healthy gut and bacteria composition!

5] It can help you with a balanced diet!

6] It can serve you as a health alarm!

7] It is instant relief!

“Does that help you at all darling, and l have just thought of another truly brilliant benefit! It’s seriously funny, what’s even funnier is listening to you mutter ‘excuse me’ after every one!”

I have to be honest folks and say that Suze’s interruption to my farting fanfare actually stopped my farting!

So there we go, thought l would share, always remember this “Farting Rocks!”

Dear Blog ……

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