I have had a bit of a wobbly belly today! It started to arrive around the 4pm mark, l knew it had finally arrived because of the fanfare!
I wish l was a quiet farter, but alas l am not – l am a noisy beast! I fart long, hard and loud and today’s were no exception to that ruling, except today’s smelled terrible. Additionally, l have been to the toilet since 5pm to 9.30pm 4 times and left a package of some merit with the Throne each time – where on earth does it all come from??
On my last visit however – Scrappy forever in her quest of being the faithful toilet companion, looked at me during my loud farting opera and l could see it in her eyes, that even it was too much and she made a hasty retreat – which is rich when l think back to some of the nasty puffs she has dropped in the past!
I must have farted at least a dozen time before actually doing anything, and every time l do fart l always say ‘Excuse Me!’ however imagine my uttermost joy when Suze calls in through the door …
“Mm, aren’t you the noisy one tonight darling, if it is of any consolation though … here are 7 amazing health benefits of farting!”
1] It’ s great for your colon!
2] It helps to stave off bloating!
3] The smell is actually healthy!
4] It means you have both a healthy gut and bacteria composition!
5] It can help you with a balanced diet!
6] It can serve you as a health alarm!
7] It is instant relief!
“Does that help you at all darling, and l have just thought of another truly brilliant benefit! It’s seriously funny, what’s even funnier is listening to you mutter ‘excuse me’ after every one!”
I have to be honest folks and say that Suze’s interruption to my farting fanfare actually stopped my farting!
So there we go, thought l would share, always remember this “Farting Rocks!”