A] Personal Details
1] Your Name?
“The Dog Monster. My friends call me Danny.”
2] Your 2 Leggeds Names?
“The Assistant. Staff. Angie.”
3] What K9 Breed are you?
“My DNA says Miniature Poodle/Shi Tzu/ Yorkshire Terrier. Rescue breed!”
4] How Old Are You?
“Approximately 5 & a bit years (Gotcha day was 4 & a half years ago. They guessed I was 6-9 months then).”
5] Do you run your household?
“Oh most definitely!”
6] Do you live inside or outside the house?
“Inside of course.”
7] Where about in the world do you live?
“Yorkshire Dales in North of England, UK.”
B] Exercise/Play Time/Adventuring
8] How often do you take your 2 leggeds for a walk?
“Five times a day minimum.”
9] Do you vary the walks or trek the same route every day?
“First & last can be the same but even the first can change depending on if there are sheep or cows in a field. The Assistant likes to take me somewhere different once a day. I also take her on different routes round our village so she never knows if she will pass the post box or the eggs for sale, for example, which can make her a bit sniffy.”
10] Do your 2 leggeds allow you to talk to other K9’s on your walks or do they huff and puff behind you and urge you to hurry along?
“To be fair she does give me time. She only gets huffy when it’s pouring down & blowing a gale, we are almost home & I linger to do some extra sniffing. I do see several K9s regularly who I like and who like me. We also encounter some I am not keen on but we have strategies for avoiding those.”
11] Are you allowed to do ‘stuff’ on your walks freely?
“She’s quite good about that too. I am free to roam off the lead so I can find stuff to perfume myself with. I do loads of sniffing & she has started using binoculars to watch birds so I have plenty of time in the fields to check who has been around. She gets really mad if I eat a freshly killed rabbit I have occasionally found. She finds it quite amusing if I just roll in fox poo though.”
12] Have your 2 leggeds ever embarrassed you? If so how?
“I take no notice of her odd behaviour. Occasionally she asks people not to give me treats. That’s not so much embarrassing as annoying! She will talk about me & my habits but, as I say, I ignore her.”
13] Do your 2 leggeds expect you to fetch the ball/toy every time during soft/hard play?
“The Assistant has been well trained & doesn’t expect anything very much. She is thrilled if I chase a ball just the one time. I didn’t learn to play when I was little so I’m not good at it.”
14a Do you have favourite toys and if so what are they?
“I have one & apparently, we own 8 of them! They are all brown long squeaky toys from Pets at Home. She once bought a green version but I refused to even acknowledge it. They look like ferrets. I can supply photos.”
14b Are you loved every day? “Yes.”
Fussed over? “Yes, too much.”
Cuddled? “Yes, as far as I let her.”
Played with? “Yes. Our neighbour Anna-Next-Door usually plays with me every morning while the Assistant prepares my breakfast.”
Made to feel special? “Well yes of course, I am special!”
15] Do your 2 leggeds take you away on holidays with them?
“She has but the last time wasn’t a great success. We both prefer to stay at home together with the 2 cats.”
16] Do you get to pick where you go if they do?
“I don’t really get to pick because I don’t know places. I suppose I get to pick some of our day trips because we go to places again if I have enjoyed them.”
“We used to go to a place she owned on Walney Island, near Barrow in Furness. I liked it there because it was like home, I could jump on the furniture, sleep in the bed etc. I also liked the smells of the grass verges there. I decided not to go walking by the sea, it was a bit too windy & cold. I don’t like water much so the beach didn’t really do it for me & the sea tasted salty.”
“I liked Scotland the first time we went. Second time not so much & third time not really. We only go away on day trips now.”
17] Are you given treats? Too few or, just right? What are your favourites?
“Yes. Never quite enough. Gravy bones & Tangly Twists are essential”
18] Are you fed a nutritional diet?
“Yes, since I had a very upset stomach & the vet said I should have Hills Science Diet. She mixes it with some Lily’s Kitchen. I like it.”
19] Is your food moist or dry or both or even the raw meat diet?
“Moist. Gravy bones are like a dry biscuit. I have 3 at bedtime.”
20] Do you enjoy it or is it boring?
“Yes, I like the food but I have had to train the Assistant to provide the right things.”
21] Do you eat it every day, or sometimes refuse to?
“I do refuse sometimes. It keeps her on her toes”
22] Are you allowed to sample your 2 leggeds food?
“Of course! Digestive biscuits, crisps & cheese are my favourites. She never shares chocolate though & can be stingy with the cheese, says it makes me fat! Rude.”
23] Do you eat your food when you are expected to, or when you wish to?
“A bit of both really. I do like routine so breakfast is being eaten at the moment & usually tea so long as she times it right – not always the same time but when I indicate I am peckish.”
D] Your Personal K9 Stuff
24] Do you have a favourite piece of 2 legged clothing and if so, do they know?
25] Go on be a Devil – tell us what it is ….?
“No, unless you count cushions? I like kicking them around & pillows too.”
26] Do you deliberately play up at times, just to annoy or worry the 2 leggeds?
27] Do you have a bed?
“Many, too many. The cats have taken some of them.”
28] If so, do you sleep in your bed, or their bed, or the couch or all three and more?
“All of the above.”
29] How much alone time or ‘just you’ time do you have?
“I go off into another room if I feel the need for space. She doesn’t seem to mind. I share the house with 2 cats but have made it clear to them they are not to disturb me.”
30] Do your 2 leggeds make you dress up?
“Only a bandana occasionally.”
* For which holiday or festivity is this applicable?
* Pose for pictures?
“No, I don’t like cameras or phones pointed at me.”
31] Do you actually enjoy it or simply tolerate it because it appears to please them?
“I don’t really tolerate anything if I don’t like it.”
32] Do you have a friendly vet?
“He’s OK. I am training him up. He muzzles me sometimes because he knows I once bit the Assistant.”
33] What would be your perfect day?
“Usually every day is perfect. A special one would be – the usual 2 morning walks. Travel to Harrogate to see Pat. Walk into town to a lovely pub with dog treats. Walk back another way. Come home. Walk round village. Walk round block. Bed. All interspersed with snoozes.”
In spite of everything … the manipulations and the training you must subject them to – are they happy that you are there to mentor for them?
“She is nuts about me. It’s almost unhealthy. She arranges for me to go on a pack walk with other dogs & humans once a week to get me away from her for a change. I also go out with Erika once a week & she loves me. Sometimes the Assistant complains that I boss her about but that’s all in her mind & I ignore her grumbling. She is staff after all.
Finally, in your own words tell us something about both you and your 2 leggeds that the questions haven’t touched on or asked about – something unique …
“I have access to Anna-next-door through the fence. Sometimes I go to her house by myself just to say hello, sometimes I stay a while. If her door is closed I stand up at the window until she sees me. She has always looked after me twice a week for a couple of hours. I can decide now if I want to see her more often. A couple of times recently I have spent all afternoon with her & just gone back for tea & to demand a walk! The Assistant thinks it’s nice that I have such a special friend.”
My special thanks to Danny The Monster Dog and Assistant Angie for pawticipating in our K9 questionnaire – and sharing all the adventures, home life and insights into life at home.
Well Danny, you certainly seem to have things more than under control in your household, and just HOW many beds is that? Also a great looking bandana, where did that come from?
Way to go Danny, Power to the Bark!
But also if you get a minute check out this: Othello’s Blog
Hope you enjoyed reading … Tootle Pip from Doodlepip!
“If you are interested in pawticipaing please email me at email@example.com and l will email you back with the questionnaire.”
You may have noticed that l am currently in the lead of Dad’s Truly Inspired series – woot woof woof woot! Now l know that many of you must have K9’s equally as much as Feline Katz  – isn’t it time you let them have their say and take our number to 38!
Looking pawards to hearing from many, many more!