Dancing in the Grey – Life with my Asperger’s
Written by Rory Matier & Suzanne
With everything going on with my Father’s series, l have had to ask myself the burning question of whether he and l were destined to continually write our autobiographies? There is certainly a tendency shared by Father and Son towards that, although l feel his journey was harder than mine and wonder if perhaps if he had taken on board my suggestion, that he too had Asperger’s syndrome whether it would have been an easier trek?
But of course he couldn’t do that, instead he wrote fictionalised auto after fictionalised auto and then sadly died before he could actually complete the reality auto!
After receiving my Asperger’s diagnosis in 2008 … a momentous occasion that completely and utterly changed my life forever … a couple of years after that when living alone by myself in a forty foot caravan in the middle of sodding nowhere on the Lincolnshire Fens with principally my two dogs as my daily companions next to the horses which l was ‘paid to maintain l had an awakening. It had started to rear his head in 2009, and most assuredly the stirrings were present early 2010.
I started writing copious amounts of poetry, my brain simply couldn’t stop and between then till 2013 l wrote nearly 1500 poems. Many you have seen, and many more were cast away or lost in the loss of computers!
Betwen 2010 – 2016 l wrote two autobiographies this one which was the last and the first one ‘Yesterday’s Adult, Tomorrow’s Child. The former was the one l chose to self publish for myself in 2016, and the latter was a very, very dark model written in the early days of a fresh diagnosis and a heavy depression. Later this year l intend to start writing 5 Shipsa Docking – Ten Years of Life, which is aimed to cover the years specifically from 2008 – 2018.
Some of the poems, appear in this edition and so you will see how many of them came into a life of their own and why they were written in the first place.
Sometime later this year for my own storage and archives l will be adding in via episodes the dark novel, but for the time being l offer for your reading the 2015/6 novel – Dancing in the Grey.
Dancing in the Grey – Life with my Aspergers
Introduction – Ep 1
1] The Rise of the NeuroAspie
2] Normal to Special Overnight
3] Other Mask Wearer’s like me
4] Dumb Jokes and Boring Stories
5] Differing Shades of Grey
6] The Lost Years
7] The Best Years of Your Life
8] 50 and Aspergic, Not stupid and 4
9] Anyone for Monotony
10] One if Glad to be of Service
11] Hyper Sexuality Vs Hyper Sensitivity: Feeding Curiosity
12] My Cup Spilleth Over
13] Don’t ask me to mask up
14] She’s all that
15] I see Grey people
14] Hidden Chapters of yesterday
17] Walking on Eggshells
18] The NeuroAspie Relationship Survival Guide
What Was Once
Everyone changes and ‘what was once’ can not always be.
When people speak of the times before now,
To what are they referring?
It is oft said upon others, where is the person once known?
Always does it come back to ‘what was once?’
And what was yesterday, but yet another reflection,
Moments caught up in the hourglass of reason,
Echoes receding like a thousand lost footsteps, a dereliction,
Abandoned thoughts, careless whispering,
Thoughts lost over time, traceable only by memory,
Inner portraits of the person still present,
Foundations from creation, drifting in err,
Illusions of what was once, now spent,
And what was once our yesterdays are sands slipping through rifts,
Of time, like escaping breath caught up on a cold day,
Held momentarily in a void, before the wind will shift,
Them away into nothing, so that may become our philosophy.
What was once simply was, and can not always be.
© Rory Matier 2012 – 2017
Chapter 1 – Episode 2 – Soon