The Art of Wearing only a Smile 1991



The Art of Wearing only a Smile 1991

Have you ever seen the film Bridget Jone’s Diary where she turns up at a ‘fancy dress’ party to find it’s not? You know The Tarts & Vicars Party. Well this tale of mine, is somewhat similiar!

Fandango over at  This, That, And The Other played the Game – On S2 game and in his answers for Fashionista he said this:

Q4] Are you a person who likes to overdress for the day or are you a follower of the credo, less is more?

If I could get away with it, I’d be a nudist. That’s how much I believe in “less is more.”

Fandango is a man after my own heart, not that he is actually after it at all, it’s a turn of words, but it made me think to something. I am very similiar to that line of thinking – l would prefer to walk around in the nude, it is so much easier that having to continually find clothing that doesn’t scratch you to hell and back because it can. But l must be mindful that l live in suburbia and answering the front door butt-naked is apparently frowned upon. Suze gets a little embarassed if l answer the door in boxers and a tee shirt to the postman, l don’t personally see a problem and so far neither has he. But each to our own. Suze doesn’t have a problem prancing around the house naked after a shower, and l have told her more than once that should we wish to spend the entire day ‘naked’ l am okay with it!

So far, she hasn’t obliged!

When l was younger being naked was alright as well, l mean technically l spent a lot of my time naked during the days of some days and nights and more so between the years of 91 – 92.

In 1991, l started dating a lovely lass, whose Father happened to be a ‘Tantric Sex’ instructor or maybe mentor, trainer l don’t know the right term, but it was his field and he specialised in it. To the unknowing, Tantric Sex is an ancient Hindu practice and means the ‘weaving and expansion’ of energy, and it’s a very slow form of sex, that increases intimacy and a soulful experience of the mind and can lead to explosively powerful orgasms.

Remember that scene from My Stepmother is an Alien, well it’s a bit like that and the scene from Cacoon in the pool, but not!! Way better!

My partner decided to invite me one weekend to one of her Father’s ‘ events’ for want of a better word, to introduce me to him and to allow me to experience the experience of the ‘experience!’

As far as l was concerned in 1991, l was already having my mind opened on that level by her and the experience was mind boggling, and fascinating, and awesome and well … you get the gist! However,  l was at that time in my life quite game for anything and so was well up for it! Clare [partner] told me that the weekend was being held down in Sussex on the infamous Brighton Beach which also happened to be a Naturist location. Well the usual bawdy jokes from me came up about ‘being in the nud’, ‘nudity rocks’ and atypical classic almost comedy postcard lines akin to the likes of Carry on Emmannuelle!

Clare just asked me to make an impression to her Father and be me, be natural!

We drove down there from London and arrived not long after midday, took some lunch and booked into the B&B that her Father had booked for us, where the ‘soiree’ was to take place. I think back then, that had l known about my ability to take many things literally it may have helped crack a few codes.

“Make an impression and be natural’ for starters were two that l performed outstandingly that night!

Clare and l walked along the beach front, and she explained even more detail about tantric sex and what her Father did and it sounded fascinating, absolutely fascinating. However looking back, l think there are some things that could have been explianed a bit more explicitly by Clare!

The evening do, was to take place at 8pm, and Clare wishing to see her Father first, showered, l assumed dressed appropriately and had gone down for the evening, she left me in the shower and asked me to meet her in the ballroom – so l hadn’t actually seen her leave the bedroom, and as such didn’t know what she was wearing, but figured that it had to be her dressing gown.

I had no nervousness to me at all, none, l was actually quite looking forward to this – to learn another skill set seemed very alluring.

After my shower, l took some time grooming myself and looking good, grabbed my terry towelling dressing gown, put on some of those funny bathroom slippers , a slap of aftershave and stepped out of the room.

The event was to be in the ballroom, and oh how l laughed as l walked down the stairs at the quirkiness of ‘ballroom!’. Found the door, walked in without thinking or even bothering to look at anyone inside and disrobed in one fluid movement, remembering Clare’s instruction of to make an impression, be confident and be totally ‘natural’ and then looked around the room, to find perhaps 30 faces all looking at me in horror!

All these faces were also connected to bodies ….. fully clothed bodes. I could see Clare at the front talking to a big built fella, who l learned later was her Father and she just slapped her forehead with her palm and laughed!

Her Father walked up to me, and introduced himself to me “I am guessing you are Clare’s other half Rory then? Is that right?”

“Err, mm, um, yes, yes, yes that’s who l am.” I stuttered.

“Any reason you are naked?” he asked in a deep stern tone.

“Well err, yes, to make an impression upon you, and Clare said to be me, confident and ‘au natural’ has any of that worked its magic on you per chance?”

“Well you have cerrtainly made an impression, l’ll grant you that Son. For the record, the ‘experience of tantra’ is tomorrow on the beach. This is a family hotel. Also, we tend to wear some clothing when we are inside you know for the sake of decency.” With that he walked away laughing!

“What are you thinking of Rory? Why on earth are you completely naked?” Clare asked laughing.

“We live and learn Clare, it’s a tiny accident in the grand scheme of things … l’ll just go and get changed, won’t be a minute.”

As l turned to pick up my robe, her Father’s voice boomed out. “You can enjoy the rest of the night in the bathrobe Mr Matier, you are staying now that you are here!”

The rest of the weekend went without a hitch, and the following day we too were without a stitch, but for that night, l don’t think l have ever been looked at by so many so often and smiled at in so many different ways!

It was looking back, a brilliant weekend!



8 thoughts on “The Art of Wearing only a Smile 1991

  1. That is a hoot. I think I would have been mortified to find myself in your situation. But you seemed to remain cool, calm, and collected! Bravo!

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