Oh No Way, Oh So Way – My Way! [4]


Oh No Way, Oh So Way – My Way![4]

Been so drunk, just couldn’t walk

Oh So Way.

December 31st 1999/2000 literally drunk as a skunk! Had to be dragged home by six – eight people!

Had a near death experience

Oh So Way.

A fair few too many in all honesty from 1976 in a car crash, to 1987 again a car crash, to various from failed suicide attempts.

Talked to yourself in public

Oh So Way.

Of course, and everyone does do it – it depends on how loud you do it when out in public and if people talk to you because they think you are talking to them.

Lied about age in order to fit in to the crowd

Oh No Way.

Never needed to in truth, when younger l was quite young looking and people oft took me for being younger than l was, so no need to lie, but l did have to carry my birth certificate with me everywhere.

Gatecrashed a party

Oh So Way.

Although l really wished l hadn’t, as it was quite boring, and not many people turned up.

Sniffed your underwear to see if it’s clean or dirty

Oh So Way.

Yes, It’s not something l really ever did on a regular basis, it was only in the caravan days when l couldn’t be sure if my clothing was clean after washing and that the washing machine was broken, or that it was the bloody mould in the caravan making things smell.

Not paid a restaurant bill … deliberately

Oh Ish Way.

It wasn’t deliberate admittedly, l had genuinely forgotten my wallet on a date, and she and the proprietors thought l had done it on purpose, l hadn’t – l was just really nervous about the date. I offered to go and get it and leave her there, but they refused and so did she, and so l had to wash the entire evening’s dishes of the busy restaurant. It was 1988 before mobiles.

Woken up in a strange place, oblivious as  to how you got there

Oh So Way.

Gawd it was really awful, l had a few too many drinks one night in the late 80’s, picked someone up from a night club, and woke up to quite possibly the biggest scare of my life!

Worn clothing inside out

Oh So Way.

Before l met Suze it was an everyday behaviour.

Broken a mirror

Oh So Way.

What haven’t l broken over the years?? I have broken quite a few mirrors in my time and even had one broken on me!

Believed in a conspiracy theory

Oh No Way.

Of course not!

Unless of course you include the fact that l believed that the Blair Witch story was true [as in the film], but that wasn’t a conspiracy theory.

Been involved in a riot

Oh So Way.

Not intentionally of course, l just sort of got swept up in one back in 2003. as hard as l pushed against the crowd, the more l got swallowed up. Then the biggest nightmare getting arrested as being a rioter! I was released as soon as they realised l wasn’t some nutter, l was arrested trying to verify my innocence and the air was a little blue!

Punched someone

Oh So Way.

I am not a violent person, and l have only ever punched one person in my life which was my Father and ended up accidentally breaking his nose defending my Mother. Left home not long after that. We knew then, we would never see eye to eye under the same roof.

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