GGB Must Learn That NO, Means NO!!
The Usual Blah Blahs!
I have had to stamp my paws down hard today!!
Told Dad in no uncertain terms, that there would be no more clickitty’s made available to him, if he didn’t start writing my new post!
“No POST No clickitty’s Buddy!!” I woofed at him!
He has in my eyes been dragging his two legs for too long and that wasn’t acceptable. Oh of course he pleaded with me, saying the usual blah blahs, ‘Am busy’, ‘Have other blogs to attend to’, ‘applying for jobs’, ‘changing the face of the business’, ‘gardening’, ‘life’, ‘writing’ … “Whatever Dad!” I said to him, we all have busy lives, so l will use a word you use a lot these days “Stop Pawcrastinating!!”
Which in truth just sounds nasty doesn’t it?? So he should stop that right away for his own health anyway!
He is a right Grumbly Grump Bum these days he couldn’t cope with being a superior dawg like me, it’s just not in his genetic makeup instead he is as l have said before just an akkademik Asbee! Well Mr. Asbee, as you love writing, start writing down what l have to say, my readers and followers await news from the K9 home front!
So here we are, and what an assortment l have for you, so without further ado …
Am quite excited l have been in conference with the Grumbly Grump Bum GGB [Dad’s new name this week] concerning these and he too is thinking of adding some of them on his own site for other Asbee 2 leggeds! So to those who say “Dawgs have no influence over their 2 leggeds, put that in your bowl and, and well whatever you do to it, do it!”
I am going to sit down and design with my own paws an interview form for fellow dawgs and their 2 leggeds to complete and then post them onto my blog!! I know lots of K9’s and have quite a few follow me on their Twittah accounts so it might be interesting, but l thought l will extend it to cover cats and bunnies too!
GGB said it might not work, but l said to him “The kennel wasn’t built in a day you know!” So look out for that feature soon.
GGB has always said that once he gets to 30 episodes of my adventures, he is going to start writing the “The Power of The Bark” – The Adventures of Doodlepip” which will be a book, and so far we are only on episode 27 including this one, hence why l am rather keen for him to finish the first 30 episodes. But he has said that he will place a Chapters section into my blog, because they will be written differently to my episodes – but he says l will have more inpawt!!
Freedom To Woof!!
Mummy and GGB say l am too woofative?? They even go on to say that l can be at times a “Right little Moany Minnie!?”
“For the record l am NOT a Moany Minnie!” Freedom of woof is still allowed l believe and is every dawgs’ prerogative and birth right! They also continue with at times and l quote “l never shut up!!”
Never SHUT up l challenge them with – do l ever say you woof too much? Because the pair of you prattle on about absolute nonsense at times, but do you ever hear me once say anything detrimental about it? No, NO you do not, and yet still you chuff on about all sorts.
I am a vocal dawg is all – exercising my rights to ‘Woofer and Wuff’.
Do any of my readership or followers have to put up with this diatribe from your own 2 leggeds? I mean, what about Husky’s? They are constantly yipping and tapping and howling! Do they ever get told to be quiet? Do you? Do you ever get told to pipe down?
They should consider themselves very lucky l am not a nasty little barker for the sake of just yapping because l could. I wuff to them is all? Ok, ok at times l get very excitable about it, but they will never take away my Freedom to Woof!!
Grief if they are not mumbling on about me being too woofative, we now find ourselves faced with this boring subject again! My Toys!
For goodness sake, it is winter – what do they expect from me? I am NOT out in the garden as much as l would be in the summer! I don’t mind walking outside, but l don’t wish to be out there all day every day in the garden just for the sake of it! I am 14 at the end of this month, and whilst l am not old as in really old, l am in my elderly years and l want to be inside more. I have earned it. So what if l leave my toys lying around, so what if l leave them where 2 leggeds can walk on them? They need to learn as l have said before to look where they are walking! I have four legs and still manage to NOT walk on the things they maintain they do, they simply couldn’t cope with having two extra legs, they wouldn’t be able to coordinate the simplicity of walking!
GGB stood on my antler bone the other day and it hurt his little footsie, and then he slipped on my Dong and fell over – does he NOT have eyes in his head? Does he walk around with them shut all day?? If l don’t have to put up with EVEN more of his blah blahs, l now have to contend with Mummy saying l should learn to pick up after myself?? Are they completely and utterly unaware to the fact that l am a dawg??
Do you have this problem? Do your 2 leggeds give you an overly hard time regarding your indoor toys? Let me know.
I like routines, l need routines; it awards me a satisfaction to know where l am with my day, and yet now they are both yes BOTH grumbling about the fact that l am too routinal?? Is there NO pleasing them whatsoever? I like to go for my walks at set times, is it my fault that for some reason the day seems to be shorter than before and is now much darker than it was? They gripe on about the fact that it is NOT time for my evening walk, and l answer back [yes more overly woofative] that it IS my time. We have arguments about it almost daily in winter and l don’t know why?
Sniff Times during dawg walks are really important to me, they say l sniff too much?
Sniff – too – much?
I ask you what is wrong with these 2 leggeds. There are many benefits to me being allowed to sniff:
1] Mental stimulation
2] Information gathering
3] Because we can and are better at it!
I think they are jealous of my raw ability to sniff out all sorts of things. I don’t care if it is cold, or windy, or wet and raining harder, l am on a data resourcing mission each and every walk. I like to know how things are with other K9’s and their 2 leggeds. It is my time to be at one with nature, to sniff out what has trod these very same steps as l do now.
They forget, that is also helps to serve as my interaction with the social scene and this makes me to be a healthier happier dawg, and to me that is what is completely and utterly impawtant!
Leave it Out DAD!
Offending leaves in garden beneath the bigger next door tree!
You may recall from my last episode that GGB was going on and on, and on about autumn leaves? Well it appears that he only likes leaves that are not in our garden? I mean, l thought l am guessing rather innocently that a leaf, was a leaf was a leaf. But apparently the GGB says l am being naïve and only certain leaves should be classed as ‘leafs’ and the ones in our garden are not just leafs but leaves from hell? What is this Hell?
I am becoming very confused with both Mummy and GGB this winter!
If we go walking, Dad says the leafs are beautiful leaves, whereas l think they are just wet and horrible leaves. He doesn’t say these leaves come from Hell, l can see where they come from and they come from the trees! But the leaves [still wet and horrible] in our garden come from Hell, and yet l can see very clearly they come from one tree!
However GGB is now grumbling about these leaves constantly falling into the garden? What does he expect? We have a tree in the next door garden that seemingly only drops in our garden, so he has to sweep up the leaves from this tree, or rather he did last year, but this year he said he is not sweeping them up until they have all fallen! He has a long wait in my eyes, l look up and only see a small amount have actually fallen, and yet there are so many on the garden, surely he must sweep them up, or l might just disappear in a pile?!
From Being Left In To Being Left Out!
You may well be starting think to of Doodlepip herself as being her very own GGB, and l can understand why, l have done nothing but complain and grumble since first getting GGB to write my post for me! But to bring up a word HE loves so much, l believe it to be Joodishal…
Mummy and GGB have taken to leaving me in the house more?
They go out for short periods of time, and leave me to my own devices. Okay, okay – no it’s not too long, maybe a couple of dawggy hours, but l suspect they are doing things without me!
Dad gets dressed up smarter than normal, and Mummy drives him off in the car, then they come back, and they have a few worthwhile sniffs on them, but they DON’T tell me where they have been, and this leads me to talk about my next subject!
I think Mummy is seeing someone else …
Mummy goes off sometimes and leaves GGB with me, and she is gone ages. Sometimes she gone for the night! When she comes back she smells of another dawg!! I am mortified at this prospect; she is seeing another dawg, who just apparently happens to be called “Buddy” – a ‘lovely’ golden retriever!! If this is not bad enough, sometimes she comes back smelling of two other dawgs!! Folly and Oscar!
Dad, the GGB that he is, seems to think ‘ready yourselves friends’ “That it is perfectly acceptable behaviour?” He – Him – says it is her work!
I know, l know who does he think he is? Insensitive is what HE is! Which brings me to another point!
Sometimes GGB forgets l am even outside, especially when he is tap tapping on his Kompootah! He lets me outside for my wee, shuts the door to the conservatory and then when l am done, and come back into the conservatory, l find the inner door shut but can see him tap tapping and he is completely oblivious to me!!
Thank goodness for Mummy who on several occasions has popped her head into the office and said “Have you forgotten about poor ol’ Doodlepip?’ To which point he THEN turns around and sees me giving him my hard line stare and says “Oh Yeah”
“OH YEAH!!” That’s all l am to him, an “O – H … Y – E – A – H!!”
My thanks to a Twittah friend of mine who suggested this title, and so now l get onto a good time had by Mummy and l, but apparently not for the GGB himself who said ‘There were no clickitty’s to be had of any worth?’ [There is sometimes no pleasing him l feel]
We visited Sandwich a lovely little historic town in Kent not far from where we live, which is sited on the River Stour , had some fish’n’chips and then enjoyed a nice quiet stroll along the river banks … and if there were frolicking times to be had, which for the record you can never have too many, it was here. Mummy and l had a great time, and l am pretty sure GGB did too … but golly jeepers – he hid it well!
I had a great time in Sandwich walking along the river banks!
Anyway, more soon – well when Dad can get his act together, so ..
Tootle pip from Doodlepip!