Parental Invasion – The ultimate scare!! 1978
Growing up in my household was always tough when l was a youngster, when there weren’t arguments ongoing, there were doors slamming and all sorts of other trial and tribulations going on that both my Sister and l had to contend with. So sometimes, pranking was a way of acquiring humour relief, it was either that or simply going insane.
My Mother wasn’t particularly prone to these behaviours, but this is NOT saying that she never took part, it was simply rare, but when she did, she could scare the jimmidies out of you. Worse, was if Mum and Dad worked together on a scare prank and then it was bound to be terrifying.
Several times growing up, my Sis and l were subjected to some very bizarre behaviour from our parents that was guised up under the term ‘prank’ or just funny, and l am sure that some of you may be able to relate to the same emotions.
My Dad always found it highly amusing if when we were out as a family when younger, if one of us had to go for a pee during a car journey, and as was atypically the way back in the later sixties to the mid seventies, there were few and far toilet facilities available and that did apply to both the UK and the Australia which is where l lived when l was growing up. What he used to do or Mum, equally as guilty, would stop the car, let which ever one of us needed a wee out the door, we would double tap it down into the shrubbery and get on with our business which if it was a pee or a number one was simples. but if a number two was needed, the real devils in them sort of escaped.
They would sneak up on us sitting uncomfortably behind a bush or a tree, trying to mind our own business and suddenly yell boo, or suddenly appear and snap a candid of us! Which literally could scare the crap out of you. Of course that kind of behaviour is now deemed inappropriate and unaccepatble of today’s society whom for the better part is overly sensitive at times to the yesterday’s of our youth or history. But to coin a phrase here and excuse the pun ‘But shit happens!’
The height of embarassment would then follow if either one of us brought someone home from school of the opposite sex and suddenly even more to the added humour of those times would be the emergence of the photo albums and your friend or whatever was subjected to the most boring shots or shits of ‘you’ caught with your pants down.
Huh, gotta love parents eh? A true parental invasion all by itself – however that’s not the story!
Following on from yesterday’s episode of The Joker in You 3# the following is the payback from my Father to me.My Dad, was not a man who liked to be outdone, he was always competing against me, no not me being chirlish just honest. He was a hard man to love, and sometimes a harder man to befriend, because he mostly saw his Son as a threat?
When he allowed himself to be both Dad and husband he was a good person to know, but those were rare occasions indeed, l would hate to think if my old Mum started a blog what new cult following she may create and just how big a controversy she might start.
About three weeks after the incident to never be discussed again of my scaring of Dad standing behind the bay window curtains, a Friday l seem to recall. Dad was supposed to be away for the night with work, simply leaving Mum, myself and my Sister in the house. We all retired for the night, l had stayed up late to complete some homework, but by around 11.30pm had got to bed, read to maybe half 12, and then switched off the light.
Back then [l was around 15] when my mind switched off, l would fall into a very deep slumber – but in consideration to that l was a light sleeper – quite quickly. I heard a noise at 2.11am, my radio alarm clock told me that, it was light enough to not be too loud, but loud enough to be heard by me and cause me to stir. I looked around the room and could see nothing, l listened very intently to the noises of the house but heard nothing, and figured it must have either been outside or perhaps even Jasmine my cat walking around the house chasing shadows or something!
But at 2.43am l distinctly heard something!? It was like a cackle or a laugh, l couldn’t determine which, but it was soft but menacing and it was downstairs. I strained my ears to the point that l went cross eyed trying to figure out what the noise was. So engrossed with it was that when a mighty thump was heard downstairs in the kitchen right below me, l nearly wet myself, and l didn’t have a full bladder so it really made me jump!
A few moments later my Sister came flying into my bedroom! Her room was literally across the hall way from mine. “Did you hear that?? There’s someone in the house, do something!”
“Like what? What am l supposed to do?”
“Check it out, you are the man of the house go and wake up Mum, l will stay here!!”
Mum’s bedroom, was a small flight of stairs below us, “Fine, pass me my hockey stick!”
I took a quick look back to see my Sister creeping up behind me. “I thought you were staying here?”
“No safer with you and the silly stick, than here!”
So we both crept towards my bedroom door slowly, slower than time itself it felt. Pulled open the door, and l gingerly looked out and down to the left where my Mother’s bedroom was, it looked clear. The house seemed darker than normal, and l realised that the night light in the hallway, which was there for my Sister who was ten, could find her way to the loo if she needed to. She was a year out from no longer needing the hall light on or a bedroom light and had up until then a dreadful fear of the dark.
“You sure you want to come with me, it’s really, really dark!”
“Thanks for that encouragement!”
“Sheesh l am just saying is all!”
Together we both crept down the stairs to Mum’s bedroom, my hockey stick held aloft in my right hand and my Sister squeezing the life out of my left hand. As we got to Mum’s door which l gently pushed and crept in halfway, there was a strange moaning sound coming from inside and l froze solid. Oh my god, what if they are doing it, and that’s what l have heard all along? I suddenly thought. But then had the even worse moment of thinking Hang on, who is doing who, if Dad isn’t here??
“We have to get out, we shouldn’t be here!!!!” I whispered to my Sister who was about to argue when suddenly there was an almighty moan, and this figure sat up in the bed and their face was all white and covered in blood and, and …
I let go of my Sister’s hand and uselessy swung my hockey stick in front of me from left to right screaming “Shit, it’s a demon Sis ruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun!! Run, run for your life, shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit!!”
Well my Sister didn’t need telling twice and ran away from me down the stairs with me in hot pursuit, her little legs looked like l don’t know what as she ran down the stairs , and got to the bottom to the landing, looking terrified and stopped and looked up and said “Where to??!! Aaaaaaargggh Rory it’s behind you, it’s behind you!!”
I looked up and saw this zombie face in a nightdress walking towards me and laughing!!
If l hadn’t already have had my tonsils out years ago, l think they may have jumped ship of their own accord l was screaming so much! “Run to the front door!!” I screamed at my Sister!
She ran down to the front door and screamed again, as indeed did l, the door was blocked with a white sheet. Like what the hell was going on?? “Out the back bay doors!!”
I led the way with my Sister screaming behind me, as we passed the stairs to our right leading to the bedrooms, l noticed the zombie wasn’t there, which worried me slightly, but seeing at how scared l was, who cares!! I got to the bay windows, and went to unlock the door but instead stumbled out of the already wide open doors onto the patio, with my Sister falling on top of me. We both lay there for a moment trying to gather our wits, but everywhere was quiet. We sat there for almost two minutes on the patio in our Pj’s and nothing was happening.
Suddenly my Mother appeared at the door “What are you both doing? Do you know what time it is?””
My Sister and l exchanged looks “Mum? Did you not see anything inside the house?”
“No, l saw you both come into my bedroom, and as l sat up, you both ran out of the door screaming – so what gives?”
Well we were both stumped, had we just imagined all of this, in some kind of joint nightmare?
Slowly we both got up, Mum had disappeared back through the curtains, and my Sister and l walked into the dining room through the heavy curtains which was not so dark anymore? There was a big candle in the middle of the table which gave off a real spooky glow. We were both stopped dead in the middle of the space of the bay windows, the curtains and the dining room looking at this candle?
“What the ….” Before l could answer that, to both my left and right two voices cackled at us both “Welcome back children!” I looked to my left, l saw a Zombie and on my right and evil grinning clown and l screamed, my sister screamed as the monsters laughed! I think that is when l passed out.
I woke up to find my parents looking really concerned with these stupid masks shoved halfway up their heads!! “Are you okay?” My Father asked, “Are you still alive??”
“You’re kidding this was you? The pair of you?” In the background l could hear laughter and saw my Sister rolling around the floor in stitches? “You too??” Then all of them stopped and simply said “Gotcha!“
They had been working on it for three weeks the lot of them, the ultimate payback and it worked, l never once pranked any of my ‘family’ again, not even mildly! I reckon, l lost three of my nine lives on that moment, l was absolutely terrified. So much so, l couldn’t see the funny side for not just days, weeks or even months, but nearly five years it took for me to actually laugh about it!
Don’t get me wrong, l was seriously impressed at how they had managed to make it work, shocked at my Sister for managing to keep anything that big to herself for that length of time, but on the scaling of it all and the acting involved – l was suitably impressed!
Days after the event when my heart had resumed its normal pace my Father gave me some advice – he said “Rory, if you want to really scare someone properly, you have to really terrify them.”
Well l guess he would know, because l was seriously terrified lol!