Killer Orgies at my School aka One Boob Too Many!! 1978
[How to upset everyone at once without really trying!!]
In 1978 l was 15 years of age and living in Woking, Surrey, England.
Since being a youngster l have always been fascinated with certain subjects, some of which were probably before l should have been, well that is what my teachers used to tell me, and l guess they would know, but hey everyone is different. These subjects were l suppose at my own concession, maybe a little on the wild side for and considering my age at the time – but in today’s climate maybe not so much.
One of my biggest flaws is my honesty, l don’t consider it a flaw but apparently many people do. My blog as an example is quite open, l don’t hold much back, but perhaps l award too much information out. I certainly don’t write all my inner thoughts down, well once again – and another maybe – not in long tales, sometimes they escape through the poems. But in general my following does get to read about 90% of my life, the remaining % is the inner me, the one that has yet to start writing, and as l said to someone the other day, once l empty my head, l will then release that little imp, and we will start to play a different style with pen and paper.
Over the years, people have constantly berated me for speaking my mind, even if in just an absent form, like a nutty professor or for voicing opinions that not everyone agrees with, well heads up, l am not a sheep and l am prefectly capable of discussing and processing thoughts as they come to me. If people don’t like them, then so be it, that’s their perrogative, that’s life.
But at school, l was no different, l would ask questions and if a teacher said something l would always challenge it, not being cocky, no, just ask another question, then another and then quite possibly another again. If l was asked my opinion, and this soon stopped – l gave it, l gave my deep down honest opinion.
I wasn’t a troublemake at school like some l knew, but my parents were always being dragged into the headmaster’s office because l had said something, or upset one of the teachers or was asking questions, that l simply shouldn’t be asking at school! I became confused with that latter part, was school, not a place of learning, of understanding and comprehension, were we not to ask questions of those who sought us to become armed with valuable information and wisdoms?
However, apparently not! We were only supposed to ask questions relevant to our curriculum, we were only supposed to submit work to that of our curriculum, we were not supposed to express ourselves creatively or artistically if it expressedly went against the fucking curriculum. This meant, that whilst taking RI – religious Instruction, that l was NOT allowed to ask questions of other religions, their theology, their ideology – why they believed something different to the teachings that were supposed to be accurate?
Why, were people not allowed to have other thoughts on other religions? Was a question l always asked my teacher. Having lived in Malaysia, l had grown up within a different culture and l was surrounded by a beautiful way of life that involved religion. Irrelevant to what my beliefs may have been, we had to surely respect the views of others? But that wasn’s a curriculum question for that year.
The same applied to art classes, where l thought we should have at least had some more artistic licence to freedom, to expression and not another bloody still life? Why? why? WHY?? Was it always sodden still life l would ask repeatedly of my art teacher. Where was the fun, the ability to work our magic?
Now, you may be asking yourselves quite rightly, WTF is this to do with quirky fascinations? Well quite a bit in reflection, you see l liked art, l liked the human form, l loved the female human form, l loved ancient history, l also loved religion ideology [l home studied various religions for my spare time reading at home], but l also had a leaning towards the dark side and macabre. But also, and according to my sex ed teacher, l had an unhealthy fascination with sex, and l denied that by simply stating l had an everyday healthy curiosity with sex!
I was already upsetting most of my teachers when l was 15 with various bits and bots, too many questions, too many opinions and just too many of everything! I was never going to win brownie points for creative inquisitiveness let’s just say that. I had already upset my art teacher for a piece l created with the subject of ‘Marine Biology of the Past.’
All the others in the class drew a lovely selection of fossils and fish and all sorts of things, but what l did was drew this landscape of a huge giant shark fighting a huge giant crocodile with divers in the scene, and there was bits and bots of bodies, lots of gore and l thought quite a bit of creativity, but all l was given was D for trying! My father went ape at that and so did l, and challenged the teacher once more and was awarded a detention! How could it be called free art expression, if my expression was not allowed to be free? I had spent weeks on that piece, and was so very disheartened BUT, the next piece was going to count towards my mocks and so l was very determined to make sure that piece accounted for something truly memorable!
The title for my mock exams from art was entitled “The Mystery of Ancient History Cultural Customs!” I was ecstatic, what a subject! I knew exactly what l was going to do! It encompassed so many of my favourite subjects and passions!
I spent weeks, and weeks on my piece, and it was an absolute work of art! I told no one! I researched, l studied, l spent long hours into the night perfecting the style l was going to deliver it in, l worked on my colours, l worked, worked and worked on that piece and when l had to submit it, l was beyond proud, l was super excited and thrilled at the response. I had taken taken the subject seriously, l had exercised my creativity and talent to the highest levels l could take them!
During the class of art that day, l was asked to submit my piece to my teacher, and he glared at me as l walked up to his desk with a broad smile on my face with my carefully rolled up work tied up with a lovely slender piece of ribbon.
“This going to be better than the last effort Matier?”
“Oh yes indeed sir, very much so, l believe in my heart of hearts that l have treated this piece with the respect and responsibility that is most befitting the subject matter, the time in history and the very nature of the cosmopolitan culture that was shared by its ancient peoples!” I answered nodding my head and added, “I think you’ll like this sir.”
Well l heard nothing from the art teacher anytime during the rest of the day, in fact l heard nothing for a good few days, but the next time l went into art class that week, my teacher was just looking at me with the oddest look on his face and kept on staring at me and shaking his head, like a worried patient. Halfway during the class, the secretary to the headmaster walked in and requested that both my art teacher and myself accompany her down to the heads’ office!?
Which we did, when l asked my teacher what was going on, he simple answered curtly with “You’ll see and you are the only one to blame!!”
Well l have to be honest and say l was a little concerned with this response, the head [Mr Jardinay ] and l had very differing opinions and so l wasn’t looking forwards to any kind of one on one with him!
However when l walked into the office imagine my surprise at seeing most of my teachers in there at the same time? I had the history teacher, my religious education teacher, my math teacher [who was a dragon anyway but also deputy head] and also my biology teacher as well as my art teacher and of course the head himself! I was surrounded by teachers! This had to be serious!!
“Matier, so glad you could join us … again. Do you know why you are here this afternoon?”
“No sir, what have l done wrong?”
Well Mr Jardinay turned around and in his hands he had my art rolled parchment. “Because of this actually!” With that he unfurled it and there it was my beautiful piece of inspirational creativity! “The Roman Orgy!”
Looking around the office all l could see were frowns, and looks of shock and utter disbelief and despair!
“What do you call this then?” Jardinay asked of me.
“The Roman Orgy sir, it is very life like and quite true to the era l feel.”
My religious teacher was the first to spout off, “This is NOT acceptable, is that a temple in there?” “No sir, it is simply a columned building! They were around in the time of ancient Rome sir!”
My history teacher demanded to know what time period l was referring this piece of work to, to which l answered it was creative and artictic licence and l as the artist didn’t have to specify any time period, that wasn’t requested in the subject matter of “The Mystery of Ancient History Cultural Customs!” That was the ‘mystery’ part, there was no time zones affixed to it.
My biology teacher’s only comment was that there were too many boobs, and why were there more women than men? To which l simply answered that for the time period there were often more courtesans present, it was an orgy afterall!
My art teacher yelled that l hadn’t stuck to the curriculum and that he would fail me for such an appalling piece of work, it was by far the most ugliest piece ever submitted! I responded with l had indeed stuck to the subject matter completely and that whether they liked to discuss it or not, sex had been with us for a very long time and that sexual acts of this nature were part of ancient history. That sexual attitudes in Rome and Greece were very different to the attitude today and that they were always represented in the literature, the art and sculptures and architecture! That perhaps they needed to open their minds a little more and simply accept that whilst they may not like it, it was actually a very serious entry for my art mock exam!
The math teacher who hated me anyway, as l wasn’t terribly good at mathematics wanted me expelled, and demanded that l be sent home at once and that a letter should be sent to my parents demanding that their son be taken to the hospital for a mental evaluation! “He is simply not right in the head!” She hollered!
Suddenly behind me, the door burst open, and my English teacher came in and apologised for being late. She saw the picture that Mr Jardinay was holding up, and said “Oh how beautifully creative Rory! Is this the piece that all the teachers are talking about?”
The other teachers just looked at her, and then slowly attitudes started to change, my biology teacher said “Well in truth, it isn’t overly explicit is it? It is just very different, and very, very life like, l don’t hate it, l was just surprised at the content for an art exam entry.” The history teacher also softened up, and admitted that l was right that there was a more liberal expression of sexuality held in ancient history, so l should perhaps be given some credit and merit for ‘expression.”
It was a stand off, three against three, the head, deputy head and the art teacher against my biology, English and history teachers! Finally, Jardinay said, “Well ok, l will let this pass, however it will NOT be submitted as an entry, you have one week to prepare another piece or l will fail you!”
“Best fail me then sir, because l am NOT submitting another piece, l happen to like that, and that’s all l am doing!”
So that’s why l flunked art at school!
Years later, long after l left school, l remember showing the piece to an art professor who l knew, and he actually bought the piece and had it hung up in his office, till the day he retired. He said to me at the time, that with my writing as it was [l was writing short horror stories for pulp magazines] that if l ever considered writing erotica, l had the right mind set to do that, l was very creative.
Finally the piece got the recognition it deserved!