Dear Blog … 00.57– 01/01/19


The Lost Sparkle,

So here we are 2019, a new year once again. I turn 56 this year in a few months time in fact, okay five, but it’s not that long away in truth. You see l am not quite sure where the year went when l turned 55, l mean that was only 7 months ago, but that has sped through like nobody’s business. I started this blog in September 2017, so this is now 15 months of age – time is just slipping through our fingers like water.

Suze and l have just watched the New year in on BBC1. I tried watching the NY in outside, but our village is very quiet, and whilst l could hear bangs and the sky had momentary flashes held in space, they were at a distance and as such l could see no actual fireworks. But l am not that bothered, l am not really a sparkly sparkle type of person. Suze is, she loves the magic of it all. Admittedly when the London fireworks was 30 seconds from completion, the light show was spectacular but none of the other times were in my eyes anything special, just a lot of bright light.

As an ex choreographer of effects l can genuinely appreciate the work that goes into the whole operation, but as to appeal, nope, nada and you’re joking right? No, there was nothing apart from  that 30 seconds that spoke volumes to me .. the magic has not just gone, but so too has the sparkle.

But having said that, it was never really there in the first place. Even as a kid whilst my Father regimented with strict discipline ‘firework nights’, they were not that much fun as everything was forced, so whatever fascination l had with it was truly lost back then. Like many things with Dad, there was no true passion, no real enthusiasm for it, everything always felt like a status obligation. Like he was doing it for the benefit of the neighbours rather than his family, his kids. It was always a case of ‘competing with the Jone’s’.

I think the most awesome NYEve l did see in truth was the night of 1999/2000 the arrival of the magical millenium, not being romantic just honest. Everyone was petrified of that new date moving in and so it looked like every single person in the village of Market Deeping where l lived in Lincolnshire decided that that night was the last time they would be alive and so best celebrate by filling the sky with light, and they did, for a full 7 minutes l saw no black sky at all at midnight!!

It was almost as if that night in England set a new precedent, for ever since the arrival of the millenium, it seems at every opportunity fireworks are released into the night skies now to celebrate birthdays, Valentine’s, pirates day, when a new child is born, when Grandma farts and of course that too l think takes not just the piss but the little magic left of fireworks. No longer is the fascination and awe present. Most new kids these days don’t fully understand the moment of holding a sparkler and watching the beauty of it. I heard a few years ago, a child of ten ask what it did and was it compatible with his iPad??

Maybe l am just becoming more of an old fart.

I hope this year is kinder to me, to us all. I hope Suze finds another job that is more befitting to her abilities, and that l have Scrappy for as long as l have her beautiful friendship in my life for as long as we are able to share it. She is an old dog now, very limpy and lumpy, but she still has spirit, lives a good life and is loved and secure in her lifestyle. I hope that Suze and l can get through the year, no, we are good, l have worries of course, but we are good as a couple, as a team and as friends. But as a family we need a bit more joy in our lives.

I hope that the Estate business is not too taxing and that everything goes swimmingly, and that my Sister doesn’t cause too many frictions, as l am struggling with keeping a depression at bay.  I hope that my shoulder and neck are fixed soon, as l just want to sob with this pain at times. Everything is so stressful with my physical inability at present.

I attended my x-ray yesterday and very different images were taken which meant twisting my neck and shoulder into very awkward positions and l am now just in sheer agony, so l hope surgery is soon and successful, now that l know they are going in through the top of the shoulder.I have another MRI on the 5th January also to look forward to.

It was said that l may not be able to write for several months after the op, which disheartened me quite a bit as my left handed finger typing is terrible and lord knows what l will do with myself.

But l do so hope that l can get Dad’s bloody house emptied and on the market before l go into surgery, because now my lazy Sister is using ‘depression’ as a get out of doing shit clause! She is apparently in a dark place, and my suggestion of turning on the lights was not well received. Yes l am sure she is upset. I only lost a Father who didn’t like his Son that much, but blimey, she lost a walking talking pocket wallet – the stress must be killing her!!

Anyway, enough.

Happy New Year folks, let’s us all make 2019 absolutely ace!


Dear Blog ……

29 thoughts on “Dear Blog … 00.57– 01/01/19

  1. Have you looked into voice-activation? I say this selfishly because I will miss your posts! In any case, Happy New Year there (we have 5 hours to go)… wishing you a joyous and healthy 2019 with Scrappy and Suze by your side for many years more! 🥳🎉❤️

  2. Rory, I hope your surgery goes well, and that despite the after effects of it, it will prove to have been worthwhile. Sorry to hear you are in agony now. It’s shit isn’t it. Market Ddeping eh! I am in North Lincolnshire. Anyway, let’s hope 2019 brings some better stuff for you.

    1. Hey Lorraine – first happy new year to both yourself and hubby as well 🙂

      Goodness, it’s a small old world isn’t it? Of MD is just over the border of Cambridgeshire as you know, but they are a canny bunch there and they are proud Lincolshirites 🙂

      I never got that far up North, before l left to move to Kent, l lived in Dunsby just outside of Bourne, and Whaplode Drove near Crowland.

      1. Oh, Bourne! We lived in Lindon for a while, and would come home at weekends sometimes to see my mother, and of course passed Bourne on the A1 on the way back down. Kind of felt I was e tering a foreign land after that lol. We lived in Waltham Abbey for just over three years. Quite liked it there. Thanks fir the New Years wishes. I really hope that yours goes well, especialky health wise. Pain is so debilitating!

        1. Yes pain is damning, you are right there, and sadly you’ll know that all too well Lorraine – however what was it they said in Toy Story – onward and upward 🙂

        2. Lol. It’s steange though – you kind of get used to it! Just bash on through it! Smiles

        3. You too Riry. I just answered your question about vouce activation but I think I typed HAWS instead of JAWS. Lol

  3. I just saw Paula’s response and I use vlice activation sometimes as I am blind. It’s a thought Rory.

      1. Well you have to get used to it. As you can see, it would be much easier for you than for me. Mine is an iPad that has it built in. I am not sure how you approach it with a laptop. But you can get Dictation software inly it tends sometimes to pick your words up wrongly. Like wood anenome it might type as wooden enemy! I once wished a vicar an arse day off lol instead of a nice day off. Ha! It has to get used to your vouce too. On a laptop you would have to purchase the software but I only know of one, which is quite expensive. Depends on how much you are prepared to pay. The one for laptops does work well though. You just speak and it types your words. I think it is calked HAWS. Sadly it is around £2000. On an iPad it is built in, so you could just purchase an iPad for the time you woukd need to be using it. Much cheaper. But quite different to yse than a laptop. On the iPad, there is a little microphone symbol at the bottom of the keyboard, and you cluck on that and then speak your words in. Like I say, it can pick up your words wrong, but you would see that it had, whereas I can’t. An iPad is around £400 as opposed to £2000 for JAWS.

        1. I will look into it Lorraine, thanks for the info. I have a desk top, so l am guessing the same would apply. Laptops are one of my biggest nightmares, their curved screens seem to play funny beggars with my eyes.

          But l will most assuredly look into all the options, even it means buying an iPad for the briefest of times is way better than spending £2k for sure 🙂

          I also know some people in the business who might be able to assist. I think if l didn’t have the ability to write at all for several months, it would become a case of this …

          And we most assuredly can’t have that 🙂

        2. Lol Rory. The link doesn’t seem to work. But yes, I would guess that JAWS would work on a desktop just fine. But a HECK of a lot of money. For a permanently blind person it is great. I haven’t got JAWS as so far the iPad is doing fine for me, though that might change. I am sure you will find your way through the tangled web lol.

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