Dear Blog … 19.45 – 29/12/18


Attack of the Cheese Toasties!

I am having one of those ‘trying days’ today l feel. I am trying to somehow get it right, but no matter how hard l try, something tries to have me not get it right. Is anyone else experiencing any kind of issue with WP comments today? It is either that or l am slowly losing the plot. But everytime l try and sort my comments out, more keep appearing from yesterday that weren’t showing yesterday, but are showing today in my pending file. Yet l cleared my pending folder this morning, and emptied my spam folder, so as far as l could figure, l was up to date – so why do l have these comments appearing in my pending folder from yesterday afternoon, that didn’t show this morning? As said it’s been a little trying to say the very least! My arm and neck are also very sore today due to yesterday evening’s accident in the kitchen!

On the same sort of subject, Suze says that l am at times very trying on her patience and tolerance with my challenging behaviour and my quirkiness. The word that seems to be bandied around a little today is that lovely word idiosyncrasy’s. For those not in the know …. a mode of behaviour or way of thought peculiar to an individual.

In truth it’s a really nice word, that took me as long to pronounce as did too the word horizon – l used to pronounce the latter as horryzon until l was corrected by my Father at the age of 12 and told that it was ‘ho ‘rye’ son and not horry   zon! He said that l had a few quirks with the way l pronounded certain words.

I don’t think the way l attend to my comments is quirky, l tend to think of it as logical approach to ensuring the day runs smoothly. I mean despite the fact that WP can slowly filter out the bloody spam comments we get, when they are filtered through into our spam folders, they will after a set period of time naturally expire. But l cannot stand having all those poxy comments just sitting there waiting deletion by the administration of my blog, so l help them along. I have a premium plan and as of yet not a business plan, so l cannot just attach a ‘plug-in’ like Akismet which requires the latter to be activated apparently.

But l tire of all the spam comments, like ‘hot juicy women‘, or ‘Oh my l have just discovered your blog’, or ‘Have you seen this?’ To all sorts of other wierd comments which after a while l become seriously irked by these comments and should l ever meet them, l would like nothing more than to grab them by the back of the head and slam them down face first into their keyboards and tell them, they have been Qwerty’d!! But that’s just me. I am sure they are jolly nice people when away from their digital software!? But maybe that’s just another quirk of mine, who knows?


However what the hell does that have to do with being attacked by cheesy toasties? Well in some respects, nothing but in another respect everything! You see last night Suze’s idiosyncrasy’s attacked me in the guise of cheesy toasties – well that’s also not entirely true, but it is!

You know l love Suze, l have said it enough, l have not over said it, l am not obsessed with Suze like my Father was with his Jeanne, but we work well as a team, as friends and as partners, but every relationship worth its salt has it’s own set of quirks and ours is no different! I am Qwerky spelt like that whilst Suze is Quirky spelled like that, you know what l mean??

I have too many to list effectively, and Suze doesn’t have that many admittedly but the ones she does have are pretty strange, in my eyes anyway, they might not be in yours.

Everything even if only worn once [well admittedly she is better now than when l first met her so she has given me some slack], but has to be washed after maybe a few wears, NO, l am not talking underwear folks, l don’t wear my boxers day in and day out, but if l wear  something the way l like to wear it perhaps for a few days as it has that nice feel to it, like my Bamboo joggers, or my fleecy tops have to be washed within an inch of their life, or Scrappy isn’t allowed to molt on a regular basis, l mean Scrappy molts all year, she isn’t long haired but middling haired and never stops losing fur, so the house has to be hoovered everyday – these are little logical quirks, hardly quirks at all.

But as an ex chef l am used to handling meats, so if l handle raw chicken, and am preparing chicken, and then l have to make a salad, l will wash my hands and dry them. But Suze has this terror alert go off in her head and l have to seriously wash my hands between chicken handling and salad handling. Ok, so maybe in your eyes even that isn’t bad, l mean cross contamination is a big issue, but l haven’t poisoned us yet – maybe that is because l must wash my hands and remove the first layer of skin between handling raw chicken and other ingredients, who knows?


I mean she doesn’t like runny eggs, so they have to be burnt or hard baked so it ‘just’ resembles an egg, but not a fried egg. But also she doesn’t like burnt toast, now l mean no one except maybe me likes my toast a little burned, l don’t want it nuked, but a little bit of a flame doesn’t worry me, however Suze’s toast is like the porridge in the three bears it has to be just right and more so if it is ‘cheese on toast’.

So last night, Suze’s was doing some Internet shopping for her grandkids and decided that she wanted to have some cheese on toast. So she slightly toasted her bread in the toaster, had the grill on and cut some cheese, placed the toast under the grill, and then went back to Internet shopping. Now l was back here in the office, minding my own business not knowing she was in the throes of making COT.  The only time l knew something was afoot, was when l heard the following ..

“NO NOOOOOO!!” Screamed, followed by a list of blue proffanity!

I hurried through to the kicthen to find Suze cursing the fact that she was cussing her blackened toast with yellow splodges in the middle! “What on earth are you doing and what are those??”

“My bloody cheese on toast, l can’t stand burnt toast, bugger! Bigger bugger and bloody buggerations!!!!” Suze hollered.

“Alright, go and sit down and l will make the toast, but just calm down, it’s not the end of the world, it’s only bloody toast!”

Suze went and sat down and then l toasted the bread, cut some new cheese and put the slices under the griddle. easy peasy l thought. Turned around and busied myself in the kitchen cleaning up the previous mess, and l guess my back was turned for perhaps twenty seconds when Suze came in..“It’s burning, it’s burning!!”

“No it’s not leave it!”

She went out and then unbeknownst to me, came back in when my back was turned and started to pull out the griddle … however lost her grip on the damn thing and spun around and with the hot pan caught my left arm somewhat sharpish on my elbow as it was hot and l was startled and l turned around equally as sharpish, pinched my nerve and then my right arm went dead and flopped into the hot griddle which caused it to fall onto the floor with her yelling about burnt toast with me demanding of her “What are you playing at woman, it’s not burning!!” In the split second that my stockinged foot then trod on the roasting hot griddle pan now on the floor and slipping on the cheese fell forwards and then twisted my mangled right arm on the counter trying to stay upright!


Well that’s when the air turned very blue from both parties with her harping on about me burning her toast and me saying “Why were you attacking me with the cheese on toast it wasn’t burned! Stop being so bloody fussy it’s just toast!”

You had to be there to seriously see the scenario for your own eyes. For Suze then shouted back, “If l was going to attack you Mr Bloody Qwerky, you would know what attack was all about pal!!”

Scrappy was meanwhile standing in the hall, and barked as if you say, “Oy you two shut the fuck up, it’s just toast!”

With that we all looked at each other and laughed mighty hard!

In the end, the final end we both made her cheese on toast, l ate the burned toast, and Scrappy ate the cheese off the floor, so it went well…….

… but today my arm is really hurting me and l have a burnt foot!

So any similiar catastophies or even quirks you have?

Dear Blog ……

7 thoughts on “Dear Blog … 19.45 – 29/12/18

  1. Bet you were a bit cheesed off after all that! Boom boom!
    Cheese on toast would be my chosen go-to comfort food if I did not have a dairy intolerance!
    Glad you all got some eventually!
    Have you recovered?

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