Pimp Imp’s December’s Delightful Dastardly Deeds 18th Dec
The Guv’s said l gotta speak proper English cos not everyone can understand me … okay, l can do that, to a degree, so panic not. It’s a little hard at times an’ at times it’s near on impossible, but’ll try.
My challenges are a little bit different to his, and l am not even that sure wot thay’re gonna be till l post ’em. I drink ‘eavy like, so l get up late! Might be one a day, might not be that ‘ell, might even be two a day!
However l know what this one is all about. I don’t spend ages and ages finking up fancy titles, they are wot they are! I’m gonna start you wif an easy one though, being as it’s your first time. Let’s see how much work l gotta ahead of me like. So, are you on the norty list or .. ?
I grade people on their overall nortyness, that’s the way to me heart! So you’re either somewhat nortyish [needs a lot of work], downright norty [needs no work] and right proper norty [might teach me a few fings!]
Are you a Lump a Coal or Not?
Do you believe in the big guy in the red suit, long bushy white beard and overhanging belly and reckons he can flit between chimneys like he’s Superman or summit?
If yes, why??? If not, why not?
How many times have you been bad this year, as in pranking, joking around, losing your temper and getting up to no good?
Are you always polite and squeaky clean? Dot your i’s and cross your T’s? Or like me don’t get bovvered with all that malarkey?
If you do, why’s it so important like?
Are you a right ol’ whiner and moaner? I like a bit of wine meself if honest!
If so, ‘ow much do you gargle down per week? Or maybe you be one of those who like to get into the spirit of fings?
Right, can’t believe l am asking this question, but it’s a norty list question from the big guy.
What’s the nicest thing you’ve done all this year? However mine is, what’s the sneakiest thing you have done?
How many people have you not upset this year with your sneakies and nortyness?
The other day Glubby turned up at the door an’ he wos wearing the most hideous cape and unmatching hat lhad ever seen! EVER, now l told him that it was not just ugly but right Fugly! he was not best pleased. How would you ‘andle it, be truthful, lie or summit else?
Whilst walkin’ in the street, you come across a fifty [of your currency] lying on the ground, whaddya do wif it?
Do you always do the best that you can for yourself? [Didn’t expect that question did ya?]
When you wos young and at that fing called school, how many detentions or stay behind after class did you end up with per week?
You’re at the shop and the person in front of the till is 9 cents/pence short of their bill being paid, whaddya do …?
A friend of yours after eating dinner or grub, has got a right ‘orrible stain on his/her shirt and hasn’t seen it and ‘as to go out to an important date, do you tell ’em?
Are you a right proper prankster? Tell me your best Norty prank for 2018
Finally, do you cuss/curse/swear a lot?
[Don’t worry like, Imp’s promise, won’t tell a soul!!]
Right leave your answers at the bottom, or make a post if you want, either way all good. Let’s see who is squeaky clean or right proper norty!