Dear Blog … 9.29 – 30/11/18


One spasm too far,

Last night l went to casuality for a check up in an ambulance. Things took a turn for the worse with these spasms l have been experiencing. Whilst l have had the occasional spasm from the time this all started as a problem for me back in January, the neck and shoulder spasms since July have been more frequent and more severe since the start of this month.

Last night l launched the pilot to a new game, at the same time Suze was making dinner when a spasm hit whilst l was standing in the kitchen with her. When l feel them start to creep in, l quickly make my way to my bed and lie down in the hope that it will be a short spasm, however last nights was a huge spasm that lasted for about 25 minutes.

You can’t do a lot when they are occuring, you can’t speak, you don’t make sense to those observing, all you can is try and ride it through. I don’t know what causes them. The pain starts from the base of my neck, works its way to my shoulder and below my shoulder blade, creeps around to the front part of my chest just under my right armpit and then the spasms start to wave over me like hot pokers with shooting spasms down my spine. The pains coursing through you take no enemies and as far as l can imagine the only aim is to cause agony.

Suze called an ambulance, and whilst by the time they had arrived the event had stopped, l was left feeling exhausted, and still feel exhausted this morning. I was given a sedative in casuality and told my notes for the surgeon would be updated. However the prime factor is that the drugs l am on are not effective enough and are not tackling the issue at hand on a satisfactory level. I should also be on a muscle relaxant as they are all locking up and not just a very low cocodamol.

By the time l got back here l was woozy, and woke up several hours later realising that l was shattered. Quickly – well as quickly as wooziness quickly is, l made a couple of posts and went to bed.

Roll on Tuesday l say, it now can not get here quick enough.

Dear Blog ……

11 thoughts on “Dear Blog … 9.29 – 30/11/18

  1. You should explain to Suze exactly what you’ve said here about your spasms. It’s terrifying for the person in pain, it’s more so for someone watching that who doesn’t know exactly what’s going on. Here’s wishing Tuesday gets here quickly! :O

    1. Suze was asking what she could during the spasm, and l couldn’t really answer her except through gritted teeth. I was struggling to breathe, as my airway was siezing up as well. All she could see was me lying on the bed thrashing around trying to ride the spasm through.

      I explained it to her later, but of course you are right, watching a spasm in full flight is very hard for someone unknowing what to do.

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