My Father In Reflection



My Father In Reflection

My Father In Reflection Directory


03/07/1938 – 18/10/2018

The series is a journey of reflection and a final honour to laying the ghosts and demons that have been with me since l was five.



“Your Father Our Hero!”

Today l am not writing a lot, l am still blogging and in my blog, but l am not doing a lot of actual writing for two reasons 1] Because the harness episode actually hurt me quite a bit this morning, so much so, l can’t walk Scrappy this afternoon, and Suze will sadly have to do that when she gets back, but l am actually hurting a lot, but 2] Because an email l received this afternoon made me stop dead in my tracks and rethink a series l was running notably this one – it used to be called The Father I Never Knew which excuse my French here is bollocks. I have rewritten the Directory Introduction[Which you can read here if you choose] and am currently re-editing every single post l have written in the series to reflect the new changes, and that is a whole lot of tiring anyway!

The email l received today annoyed the living crap out of me, it was from my Father’s neighbours and asking for me to pay for a Bench for my Father’s heroic efforts of last years legal battle against the company who is responsible for the external decoration of his apartment. You may recall a post l wrote on it.

As l have been handling the probate administrations for my Father’s estate, which includes the entire paperwork trail of that nonsense battle he started himself many years ago, l also had to handle the bank statements and his entire financial life for seven years. He lost the legal battle and with it, £20K or in layman terms, twenty thousand pounds! £20,000 for a legal battle which was nothing much short of a huge ego and pride battle to prove he was right.

But he lost, instead of just paying the smaller maintenance fee at the start, he thought he was David and attacking Goliath …..well he was no David! He lost.

At the start he had a whole army of supporters  [neighbours] who backed him, but they withdrew from him over the years because they didn’t like his manipulative and bullying tactics and strategy! In the end, aka 2017 he had five supporters who NOT once thought about paying anything in the way of a contribution towards his costs [although my Father could be a right Dickwad at times and probably proudly pushed their money to one side ….maybe] and they then saw my Father lose his money.

“Oh well, we lost – it was a good fight!” They may have said in unison! All five of them! But they didn’t lose £20K of their money.

So to receive an email to request a plaque or a bench or both for ‘Your Father’s efforts, so that he is not merely remembered as the man who took on the big bad maintenance company and that doesn’t look good on the Internet, because he lost!” Kind of leaves a strange shitty taste in my mouth. If that wasn’t bad enough, the email was capped with “He was your hero too!”

Well that’s when l sort of saw red, and decided to change things with the series ….. that man was not my hero, he was never my hero. He was a bully!

I wrote them back, being more diplomatic than l felt and strongly suggested that it is usually the custom of those who believe someone is a hero to pay for the memorial themselves and not expect others to do so. I also pointed out that my Father was NOT popular with the rest of his community and maybe they should  consider that first. That his estate would not be releasing any finances to fund such an endeavour. That if he was ‘their’ hero, then they should honour him by paying for such a memory and in consideration that my Father had already pledged in essence £20K into the ‘community’, then perhaps the community needed pledge something back?

Today l feel was not the best day to ask that of me!

8 thoughts on “My Father In Reflection

        1. Well l chose to be diplomatic for a diplomatic reason – the leader of this group was the women who ensured that Jacqui was being fed. I was polite because of that, but she thought she could push the boat out a little further with me and l had to nicely put her in place.

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