Dear Blog … 10.15 – 08/11/18

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Home Alone with Kevin and the Spectrum,

Sounds like that title should be a song sung by the Everly Brothers!

Well today Suze set off for her 17 days away in sunny Australia and Kevin and l will miss her despite what she thinks. What? Who is Kevin? That’s Scrappy … when her Mummy is away she turns into Harry Enfield’s Kevin character as in awkward teenager for the first seven days, then she calms down, as in stops looking at the door when realises that Suze is not coming back and settle’s down to being Scrappy again, and then when Suze comes back she is Kevin for a day as in pretending to not know her, then the next day she is Scrappy again and goes ape booloo suddenly realising Suze is back!

In the seven days of Suze’s absence l have to put up with grumpy Kevin – joy. Currently Scrappy is asleep, not having turned on Kevin mode, because she simply thinks Suze is away to work, however come 5pm, she will take her place on the doormat and await her return. Then when she realises that Suze is not coming back, l will meet Kevin again, who for the next few hours until 10pm, when Kevin realises Mummy is not coming back!

In our nearly six years as a couple, this is going to be Suze’s third visit to Australia since 2015 to visit her grandkids and daughter/son-in-law who emigrated that same year. Thankfully Suze is only away for 17 days this time, and not the 4 weeks of 2016/17 and even more thankfully not the 6 weeks of 2015/16.

Suze and l always have a similiar discussion before she goes, where upon for some reason she says she doesn’t think l miss her when she is gone, because l am on the spectrum with my Aspergers and as such am able to hyperfocus and also because l don’t experience loneliness, therefore l can’t miss her. I always counter with that l am grateful for the fact that l don’t get lonely, but l do feel alone when she is gone. I suppose l should be grateful for the ability to hyperfocus and not feeling lonely, otherwise l might just turn into a squelchy globule on the floor till the time she comes back through the door.

But l always miss her, and one of the things l find the hardest is knowing she is safe and sound, and when she takes to flight l become a very different person, l don’t stop breathing but l become hyperanxious until she has landed again. It’s a long flight from the UK to Australia, with a stopover in Dubai. She takes off this afternoon and will arrive in Australia at near to 10pm their time, roughly middayish UK time.

In all the time that we have been together, l am never too sure why my Asperger’s is seen as the biggest challenge, considering that Suze is currently post-menopausal and has been for three years of our relationship, so nearly 50%. I have found that to be quite challenging as it completely changed the woman l met and fell in love with. I am still the same person although like with most relationships you compromise to accomodate each others individuality.

So, l still find it quite baffling why she thinks l don’t miss her, when l do, and so does Kevin.

Oh well l am more than busy this time around with a grumpy teenager, probate paperwork and a host of other things, and that time will pass all too quickly for Suzanne sadly who misses her grandchildren dreadully, and l guess the time will pass quickly here, l know it will, l hope it will anyway if not for my sake but for Kevin’s.

Talking of the Everly Brother’s, l think this is quite fitting from Kevin’s viewpoint!

Bless her 🙂

Dear Blog ……

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