Dear Blog …11.01 – 04/10/18



Siblings … don’t get it?

I find myself somewhat confused of late.

Having had a Father that created a rift with my Sister and myself that covered a span of 18 years, l don’t know really what a Brother/Sister friendship/relationship is supposed to consist of, but at a push, l should imagine that it does comprise of communication.

I am not looking for anything special, but quite possibly more than l have.

A couple of years ago when the ‘rift if that is what it was’  was very strong, l was communicating with my Sister through the trusty Facebook, or rather attempting to do so, and l recall a comment l left with her when l had hit my frustration period of writing and receiving no responses what so ever and that was ‘l do hope we can resolve these conflicts between us whatever and however they have started and not be silent until the day of one of our parents deaths!”

Atypically, l received no response from that either and here we or l am two years later almost to the date of that last message, sitting here typing and wondering  what a relationship between siblings is supposed to consist of now that there is no rift? I know that my Father did create a rift between my Sister and myself, but l now ponder on the possibility of whether the only reason she communicated with me a couple of months ago was that she was overwhelmed with everything? Then l served a purpose.

Over the last few weeks, my Sister has stopped communicating with me on any level in comparison to the level of communications we had even as little as  three weeks ago.

She visits my Father twice a week for whatever purpose, and whilst l asked her to keep me updated, she now doesn’t tell me anything at all, and l find myself being updated by my Mother! Well that’s a turn around l have to say!

So as to sibling relationships, l feel that we may have a much longer way to go than initially thought.

Dear Blog ……

15 thoughts on “Dear Blog …11.01 – 04/10/18

  1. People who are brought up with manipulation often see it as normal – they don’t see it the way an outsider does. Right now, she’s surrounded by the people who ‘normalised’ her early life with stuff that shouldn’t be normal – in her ear many times a day – and who’s talking to you? is she a master manipulator, too? is she pushing your buttons again?
    Don’t give up on your sister, but give her time to get out from under, and let her know you’ll be there when she’s ready.
    Or just let it go and focus on your own life and the good things in it.

    1. Probably, it all just seems very odd cage, a Mother who is suddenly sympathetic to a Father / Husband that was brutal to her and l wonder is my Mother that lonely that she wants to be vback in my Fathers life? a Sister who was/is/still very close to my Father and the pair who ostracised me years ago for being odd, was it just a Father rift creation? A Father who despite dying is now trying to be top dog again through coercion and l have taken a back seat, but didn’t expect to have my Mother update me on events.

      Strange world we live in.

  2. We can never really understand anyone else and trying to is enough to drive us bonkers. If you want to have a relationship with your sister I would tell her, explain how you would like that relationship to be but then be prepared to walk away if she doesn’t want to know. That way you will know that you’ve tried (so no guilt) and, however it turns out, you can let go of the stress. xx

    1. Hey Lisa,

      Yeah l do agree, and l did say this before to her and she seemed to be in agreeance as well, but now she is back in her Dad’s good books despite his health, and l am back to the role of a Son who knows the truth and isn’t prepared to just sidle up to him for the sake of turning the other cheek.

      I think the true test will be when he is sadly dead and then l think l may see her true colours.

  3. Hay Rory,
    Ya getting along with your siblings isn’t that easy especially when you have someone else pushing buttons behind your back, all you can really do is be there if she wants to talk, sorry to hear things have gone south with her again.


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