Can Cook, Just Wont


Can Cook, Just Wont

I am by far and far the world’s worst cook!
Schooled by professionals and not by the book,
But do l care? No, l don’t!
Can cook, just won’t!

I should be completely and utterly ashamed!
And the way l act, perhaps flamed!
Skilled in the arts of the culinary delights,
Yet l don’t even feel the slightest bit contrite!

Trained and qualified as a chef you see,
Dear God, yet l see cooking as a blasphemy,
Well especially when cooking for a mere one,
Bloody hell, like where is the fun?

I could create the most fabulous roast,
But what’s the point, when there is toast?
Just as enjoyable, and bloody easy,
Instead of preparing the Sunday joints and getting greasy!

Oh, the dishes l have conjured up in the past,
When there were two of us and l could be arsed!
Now l am more inclined to make something simple,
Involving less kitchen aggro and much more blissful!

Why go to all the unnecessary bother,
Of lingering around the oven with feelings of ardour?
Awaiting the readiness of certain ingredients,
Just seems to me like time misspent!

Sometimes l contemplate making Spag bowl!
Then l think fancy fish dish with a bit of sole,
Or perhaps making an exotic curry mix,
However end up going for a much quicker fix!

Of late l have to be brutally honest and say,
That just eating from day to day,
Is becoming quite the chore,
Actually cooking the damned stuff even more of a bore!

Making life even simpler is more of a creative art!
Than striving to deliver the perfect a la carte!
But now l think l have cracked the perfect bachelors menu,
Coffee, cereal and toast see me through!

Okay so to the outsider it is maybe not the best!
But for someone like me, it’s so easy to address,
When asked why it is that cook l don’t?
I safely answer, Can cook, just won’t!

© Rory Matier 2012

27 thoughts on “Can Cook, Just Wont

Add yours

  1. Oh well I cannot cook and I won’t! Lol! I just do not see where is the justice when one spends hours in the kitchen preparing something and then people just eat it in what 10 minutes? Where is the respect for the labor of love made, tell me? Hahaha! So, I cannot cook and I will not cook.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. I love to cook. Cooking truly is the art of love. You spend your time creating a masterpiece for others to turn to poop! If that doesn’t prove you love people I don’t know what does. Damian Hirst take note! My art merely turns to poop.. yours always was!!

    Liked by 3 people

    1. I know the feeling, l am a qualified chef and l do cook for my partner, but sometimes all l want to do is have something simple.

      i have such a bland diet, whilst l can still make exciting dishes, there is none of the fun anymore.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You are so welcome! I love to read really creative writing like this!! Great title and great post!
        Me? Ha! Well, and blessed. Just wishing my Muse would spend more time with me! Loving retirement and having “Choices”! And how about you?? Any fun summer plans??

        Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Blog at

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: