All right me hearties, round up, round up and listen t’ what l have t’ say ’tis international Talk Like a Corsair day be ye ready fer high seas and fun?
Blogskull Island in th’ briny deep o’ Wordeepressia were bein’ inhabited by a rowdy bunch o’ buccaneers ye could e’er surely imagine – actually that be bein’ overly polite – this lot were marauders, raiders, freebooters and sea robbers – th’ toughest meanest nastiest evilest roughest band o’ ready t’ sprin’ into action scallywags ye would e’er ne’er – NEVER wish t’ meet in th’ darkened corners o’ th’ galley aft a skinful – they were known as th’ Snagglers Smugglin’ Sneaksies! I be knowin’ it’s a mouthful, but when NOT makin’ ye walk th’ plank laden down with cannon balls fer fun, they would smear ye in lard and weigh anchor ye fer th’ bees or even bury ye headfirst in th’ sand dunes with just yer feet stickin’ out t’ see how long it would take ye t’ dig yer way out!
Seein’ as it be National Corsair Day, l thought l would hand ye o’er t’ me merry sweary band o’ cutthroats who also happen t’ be excellent scribes and they in turn could be tellin’ ye a little bit about them and their day as part and parcel o’ a new recruitment sail we have on, seein’ as we be a bit short o’ corsairs followin’ a particularly bloody skirmish we recently had with some European vessels in th’ Caribbean.
Who else best befitted t’ be tellin’ ye how best t’ fight, how best t’ swear and how best t’ become one o’ us, than one o’ them?
So l give ye Blanche Bonny Britchy a right bitchin one she be, Frenchie Florrence be careful o’ that comely wench l be tellin’ ye, she be a right charmer, Queenie JayloLyno she cut ye poxed with that comely wench stare as soon as look at ye, by Blackbeard’s sword! Then there be Deathly Dawne dern’t let that comely wench near yer timbers, otherwise they may be shiverin’, Then be aware o’ Granny Rum, Aye and then ye need t’ be in full alert t’ KKKrazy Kristian he tear ye apart with them even krazier chickens he has all th’ time by his side, avast! Also, be th’ time o’ th’ day t’ spare ye with their sharp witted cacklin’ wit, there be Murderous Melanie, Rebellious Richa, Cara Mel Crusher, RestonHerLaurels Hess and by Jimmidy be very, very and if l ha’nae said it yet, be really truly careful o’ Cutthroat Christie and Kidder Kristian, there be many, many more than will hopefully jump on board this sail o’ ours and parhaps if ye not be willin’ seein’ as we be askin’ ye all polite and diplomatically, then we may have t’ coerce ye t’ be seein’ thin’s our way, should ye decline, then all donations welcome, not too fussed what ye donate , but we prefer gold, but will take limbs or heads!
I do feel quite sure that me rowdy ragamuffins will furthermore encourage others amongst us t’ share with ye this fine day, stories and tales that might ye entice ye t’ join us voluntarily, failin’, we just take ye along fer a jolly!
I would ask o’ me lovely lovelies that should ye not be able t’ oblige, then please, please select one o’ our crew members t’ be writin’ a tale o’ skulduggery and mayhem that may in turn motivate landlubbers t’ feel at home with life on board our merry galley th’ Bloggersail! All ye need be doin’ be quite simple, just be tellin’ us a bit o’ yer life in th’ ways and throes o’ high sea robbery and murder, ye can make it as bloodthirsty or as quaint as ye so shall wish, but get me new pirates, and dinna spare the whip! We be too short and we have t’ set sail by this time tomorrow otherwise that other Scallywag, ye be knowin’ th’ one … Aye that scurvey dog, he be beatin’ us t’ th’ takin’s o’ gold!
Please dern’t be forgettin’ t’ pass th’ sign up on t’ th’ Corsair o’ yer choice with their Corsair name and t’ explain t’ them, that must be talkin’ Corsair like, otherwise who understan’s anybody? Alrighty, so set t’ it, make me proud! Don’t be forgettin’ t’ be lettin’ em be knowin’ o’ th’ Corsair translator should they forget themselves on Talk like a Corsair day and talk like a scangy landlubber!