Dear Blog … 20.43 – 12/9/18


On a scale of 1 – 10 — like déjà vu!


Somehow l knew it, l just knew it! I knew l would not be able to maintain a steady 4 on the scale of 1 – 10 because here l am yet again at a bloody 10 if not over that and into the next bloody realm!

There is a reason l don’t have much to do with families and especially my Father’s side – because they are equally as  manipulative as he himself is. They are shit stirrers. Making matters worse like honey to a pot, they attract not just bees, but wasps! My Father’s are wasps, and more so his Sister!

I was already annoyed at the hospital for their choice in releasing my Father yesterday, but l was doubly annoyed that they hadn’t notified us! The care plan carers were literally only notified by the hospital 20 minutes before they arrived at 6pm last night.

My Father is an awkward bastard! There l have said it – in addition to that he is racist, sexist, homophobic and chauvinistic! As you know he cannot stand people who are afflicted with any kind of disability or illness and that stretches to disorders as well.

So one of his wishes was to ‘die at home’ or in the very least until and up to such a time that he had to go to a hospice! Fine that is your wish, your kids remember them your children, we will bend over backwards and try and turn that wish into a reality!

So last night the carers turned up and my Fathers so called best friends were there who were not just happy in criticising me or my Sister then had a pop at the authorised personnel there to do their job of caring for a dying man!

This morning l spoke to my Father and he demanded that l do more! That his mobile phone was broken and that l should buy him a new one! Fine no problem, “The bloody carers are not here and l wet myself last night!” I assured him that at 9.15am, they would be with him shortly.

Now the carers are only on four visits a day at 45 minutes a time, they take care of personal health issues, food, helping him out of bed and administering medications where required. His package of care was reduced since the silly sod mirraculously walked last week in hospital and they in turn downgraded the level of care he was to be awarded.

I was at the doctors today, got a new medication, a small amount of pain but my stress was at about a 4, manageable l figured. The photo above was the photograph l took at about 6.50pm tonight, it’s the day saying goodnight and the dusk taking its shift on with enthusiasm. Isn’t it lovely? I think it is and it was, but that beauty was interrupted by a call at 6.54pm! By a very frustrated and obviously upset lady who turns out to be the Manager in charge of the company handling my Father’s care plan.

All today my Father’s so called friends have caused problems for the carers by being confrontational with them, and preventing them from doing their jobs? Why? Why cause a problem for my Father’s health like that? It got to the point that the carers were going to pull out UNLESS something was done. In addition to that the hospital should NOT have discharged my Father but he insisted that his package was in place so in essence discharging himself! Even his own occupational therapist didn’t know her client had been discharged. If that isn’t enough the hospital gave him the wrong medication sheet so the carers and the District nurses were left in confusion because all the medications were wrong! Guess what??

What l hear you cry is rapturous excitement!

My very own Father turned against his own carers and demanded things from them,as well as refusing to be ‘serviced by ‘silly women doing a man’s job!’ He insisted he couldn’t walk and they were stupid ‘B#####s’ that couldn’t do their job properly! His words. He made life absolutely impossible for them, then demanded things from them like a roasted meal cooked from scratch because that is the only place ‘women were suitable for!’

He then sided with his friends and attacked verbally the carers who are there for HIS health and why? Because his so called best buddies had been coaxed to do so by my Father’s Sister who is hell bent on making us look stupid!

My Sister and l are at our wits end, we are fighting too many issues at once, a family trying to humiliate us, friends and neighbours doing exactly the same and our own Father listening to everyone else except us. It is very disappointing, and stressful, and disheartening. My Sister and myself are both at  scale 10, l will not even end this with an infamous statement of what else could go wrong, because l think l already know the answer  – everything. We have both been on the phone this evening calling all sorts of professionals trying to sort out this stupid man who just also happens to be our so called Father! I had to tell my Sister things that she never knew about this man, so she knew who he really was.

So another evening gone to the toilet another two plus hours wasted on this very annoying situation!

1 – 10 doesn’t even come close to it.

Dear Blog ……

14 thoughts on “Dear Blog … 20.43 – 12/9/18

  1. Let his sister and his friends care for him. You’ve done your best and you know, with him, it will never be enough or right. You owe him nothing.
    I hope the rising sun brings joy and banishes pain and stress.

  2. Maybe the next step would be to ignore his wishes and do the hospice? And if he signs himself out, leave him and his friends to it?
    That sounds cruel, but it’s what he does that says what he wants, isn’t it? Actions speak far louder than words.

    1. Very much so, my Sister and l have even said that tonight. The first step would in fact be a nursing home, and unless something positive comes out of the meeting tomorrow with my Sister and the carers, it might be proven that his home environment is not conducive to his improved health in which case. He will lose his rights for his wishes to be fulfilled and end up in the last place on earth he wishes to be.

  3. Wholly smokes this situation is getting worse by the day. I agree with “King Ben’s Grandma” – if all the other family members and friends feel they know what to do, and what is best… Hand over the reigns.
    Your sister and you are going to end up going postal from all this stress you’re both under.
    Not to be disrespectful, but get your father a new phone, and tell him he’s on his own. You don’t deserve all this added stress of family & so-called friends. They all sound like lunatics!

    1. Well my Sister and l having talked this morning, are already heading for a postal sack with all the stress and are now in the process of looking at care homes. My dad used to be a top dog in security and the current security is completely lax and overrun with problems, so much so that she and l cannot secure it properly.

      With a care home, Dad and his cronies have lost their power, and we regain some of it, and expotentially reduce our stress load.

  4. I agree a care home sounds like the best option for him and y’all, that or his sister can take care of him and his nabore as they seem to know what’s best.


    1. Hey Dawn, l know, it’s all getting very stressful now. My sister is with him today and meeting with the carers and the district nurse, she has a male nurse with her today also so he can act as both a witness and a protector if the neighbours kick off.

      1. That’s good to hear hopefully they will get things sorted out so you all aren’t under so much stress from this mess.

        BY FOR NOW

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