Dear Blog … 18.10 – 08/9/18


The ‘iteth hitteth the faneth!

Don’t drunk when drink!

Well l have to be honest and say l am not right, l am not left either but l am not right today. I am mentally drained from last night’s brazen attack from a cousin to both my Sister and myself. It all began at around 9.45pm last night and it finished at around 11.45 pm – so for two hours l was at war with my Father’s family – not my family, his!

My Sister has been diligently working towards preparing my Father’s home for his hospital discharge next week. So that the care package which is currently being fast tracked by both the hospital and the hospice can accomodate his specific needs and requirements.

We both are in constant communication with our Father, making sure he is okay and what not and having to deal with his continued rants about how unfair life is, but hey ho. Perhaps l might be the same if l had been terminally diagnosed like he has. I have already told Suze to shoot me or to knock me off if l ever get as bad as Dad!

We haven’t been in regular contact with his side of the family, as they are abled bodied and they can pick up a phone and speak to him direct, plus l don’t trust that side of the family as they can be pretty canny at best of times.

So last night, l was simply trying to chill out with Suze and Scrappy and watching the end of the new series by Tom Clancy called Jack Ryan by Amazon Prime. I wasn’t expecting to go headlong into my own conspiracy plot within moments of the finale! However as luck would present itself, that is exactly what happened with both explosive and volcanic results!

The phone rang, and unwittingly l picked it up without first looking at the number of the screen, so l didn’t know who was on the other end, all l did know was that at that time of the night, it may not have been great news.

My cousin was on the line, wanting to ‘catch up’, which inwardly l groaned at as l didn’t want to ‘catch up’ with anyone let alone members of my Father’s family – however in the quest of being seen and heard as diplomatically correct, l answered with a pleasant tone.

I was a little confused with her, when she asked how my Father actually was, and l answered with, well you saw him last Sunday what did you think? She said that he didn’t look like a man who was dying. I challenged that and asked had she not seen the enormous loss of weight in the man? Oh yes of course, l didn’t say he wasn’t ill, l am just saying he didn’t look like a man who was dying.

I explained to her, that l had seen him the day before when he was receiving a blood transfusion, and that trust me when l said the man has been diagnosed as terminally ill and it is a case of a few months in comparison to say a year left of life. She then challenged me and said l was obviously a little bit clueless to my Father’s condition, and that he was far from seriously ill!

At this point, l am thinking that perhaps this particular cousin has lost the plot, and is in  the land of the insane. So l explained his cancer to her in detail and said the man is dying okay, let’s just agree on that, as l am not sure what you are on about.

She answered with well he will be soon going into a nursing home, and that is when l was completely lost and asked her, where on earth she had got that information from? Her answer was her Mother. Which really confused me, and where did her Mother get this falsehood from? Which she answered my Father’s friend – the one who had given me a hard time a couple of weeks previously.

I was by this time, utterly confused. I said is this man family? She said no, then l said – well he is talking bollocks. My Father is terminally ill, his house is being made ready for him, because his wish was to die at home, but in order for that to occur his house needed to be made ready for his return.

That’s when the cousin kicked off, was l calling her Mother a liar, that l was a useless bit of human crud, that l was an extremely rude person, a failure as my Father’s Son and the long tirade just went on and on, until eventually l told her to fuck off!

In the interim to all of this, l had text my Sister in Facebook and asked her what on earth was going on, when l told her, she was as clueless as l was. However, that didn’t last long before she too became the target for the cousin, and if l thought my battle with her was explosive, my Sister and her brought it up to volcanic proportions. Where it was extremely disconcerting and the insults from the cousin were really very insultive.

This whole shit storm makes me very angry, because ultimately the one person who made all of this hostility begin was in fact my Father with all of his bare faced lies and lying.

The end result came at close to midnight when the cousin text my Sister with a pretty vile insult, and my Sister who was still trying to remain diplomatic, simply lost her rag … cast an answer back that began with ‘How fucking dare you even suggest such a thing!”

However this morning, when the process of blocking certain numbers began, my Sister awoke to a message from the cousin who was not just backtracking, but involved downright lying and simply stating that she was drunk and had been drinking, and the oh woe is me went on and on.

It doesn’t matter really how much backtracking is done, the texts received display the full frontal attack. The moral of this story is don’t drunk when drink, because the shiteth will hiteth the faneth!!

There is no Asbo without smoke!

ASBO = Anti Social Behaviour Order


3pm Saturday Afternoon – Back Garden

You may recall from an earlier Dear Blog entry concerning the neighbours from hell behind us, who insist on lighting a bonfire during the day. Well normally quite placid, Suze finally flipped her nut this afternoon at 3pm, as yet again there is a bonfire burning. She had to once more bring all the washing in again, but this time, she actually really blew a gasket!

She put on some shoes and storm marched out of the back gate, it took me several seconds to realise that she was stomping off up the street to go and have it out with this ignorant neighbour! So quickly got some shoes on and followed, dreading to think what l might be walking into!

As it was, by the time l had rounded the corner, she was already walking back up the street and saying they won’t open the door to me!

Since Suze started working with the councils, she is pretty clued up on what is allowed and what isn’t allowed in residential areas, and also very aware of the consideration to neighbours policies – so she was pretty fired up l can tell you!

Today is just another entry into the Disturbance Diary, Suze is quite the warrior when she wants to be. I mean think of the damage this smoke is doing to the ozone layer never mind the damage Suze wanted to do to the neighbour!!


6.00pm Saturday – huge bellows of smoke!

Dear Blog ……

8 thoughts on “Dear Blog … 18.10 – 08/9/18

  1. My dad is in a similar situation to yours, he’s home now with all the equipment and support.
    You’re doing the right thing, his wishes to be at home are what matters. Families, close or distant can be truly evil at times.

    1. Hi Karen,

      Yes for sure, family are evil, and his are proving more so each and every day. Their hostility is arising out of the Will. His Sister wishes for us to be taken off and she be sole executor. But the stress this whole thing is creating is l will be honest starting to cripple me.

      My Sister and l are abiding by his wishes, he wants to die at home – that this is what needs to be done. He doesn’t want to be in a nursing home, fine – no nursing home. He doesn’t want to be in a hospice – fine – no hospice. If everything was straight forwards and black and white everything would be fine, but to make matters worse our own Father is now using his Will as a manipulative tool against us, and that too is starting to drain everyone.

      More than twice in the last few weeks l have given serious thought to basically just request him to disinherit me, so l can be done with it. I jjust don’t need all this crap, neither does my Sister when all we are trying to do is abide by his bloody wishes.

      1. It seems they’re more focused on inheritance than anything else, this seems to be about greed pure and simple. It’s wrong of them and it’s wrong of your dad to manipulate. I can understand how damaging this can be to you and your sister.
        Just keep on doing your best, and look after yourself xx

        1. We are now in the situation where we are realising that we have to really batten down the hatches and just hyperfocus. It doesn’t help that Dad’s mind is going haywire because of this small vessel disease and so he doesn’t remember that well any more, nor does it help that his Sister bullies him, and that worries me. However when he does eventually get home, things are going to be very different.

          So maybe things will quieten down.

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