One thing, then another …
Well the good news is that Scrappy with no threat of medication on the horizon today bucked up, took some food and started eating again. Also she put her trust back in us today, and enjoyed a small walk this evening with Suze. She still has a very stiff back left leg, but she is a darn sight more comfortable than this time last night when all panic stations were blaring full steam after her collapse.
She has x-rays tomorrow morning, and we are both hoping that we are going to be dealing with a treatable leg injury over something more painful. So for the time being, more positives than negatives, well on the dog front in the very least …
But the good news stops dead there, because now the long running annoyance with regards a lying father reared its ugly head yet again!
A call from my Aunt this afternoon whilst l am enjoying the time that my dog now loves me again interrupted my day and what then followed is yet another six hours of wasted time trying to get to the bottom of things.
She tells me my Dad had taken another fall and this time he cut his elbow. Now this time he didn’t ring anyone up except his Sister, the last time, was when he called me and expected Suze and l to drive the two and half hours up to him. I find out from her that she still believes he is lying to everyone, and informs me that he is now slating me off as a useless Son that never calls [Well done for remembering, yes l spoke to him on Saturday when he tells me to stop calling every day!]
After her call ended l ring my Father and ask how he is, he comes back in the same ‘nothing new comment’, so l try a different tact and ask if he has seen the doctor, he responds then about his fall on Sunday, that he has seen a nurse and a doctor is seeing him tomorrow. I then kindly bring up the ‘lifeline’ service would really be advantageous to him and it is at that point that he becomes abusive.
He yells he doesn’t need help, he is doing fine.
Another tact. Has he heard from anyone in the last week? [Now l know he has heard from me, his Sister and his brother], but he comes back with no one except me.
I try the lifeline service feature again and this time he says he can’t see the point, what good are they going to do? So l explain the benefits and once more he becomes abusive.
New tact required yet again. However by this time l am becoming irked at his poor behaviour, ill or not. I ask for his doctor’s details, he point blank says no!! I then press him, and give him the option of hanging up on me should he wish.
Finally he relents and gives me a smattering of information, which after the phone call l can Google and take action accordingly. I then ask him for the details of his consultant at the hospital and the hospital details please, so that l can also talk to them about discussing care elements also? For him to turn around and tell me that he doesn’t have a consultant or a hospital. So l ask the question that has to be asked. Then where are you going for this chemo if you don’t have a hospital or a consultant?
Once more abusive!
Suddenly he blurts out that his doctor has told him he needs a member of his family to look after him! Which l answer with, doctors don’t actually say that, they usually ask do you have anyone that can help you from your family or friends?
Now he suddenly turns the tables, for a man who says he keeps forgetting things, says “Are you here on the 26th?” I explain l will try, but with the Scrappy situation, l cannot answer properly right now until we have the results in.
“Oh that fucking dog means more to you than your Father then?”
“Yes Dad she does, because she doesn’t keep on lying to me! If l can get to you l will, but she is my main priority currently. This is NOT saying l don’t care about you, but l have enough stress on my plate to sink a battleship which is not helped by a man l am trying to help who keeps feeding me bullshit like l am a mushroom!”
“Well you need to be down here helping me, staying here and helping me!”
“Right so how is that going to work? I have a pinched nerve and have no power in my main arm, so if you fell how am l going to be effective help? Is Suze to stop full time work so she can look after our old dog whilst l am here helping you? Am l to make a dog travel down here to be stuck in a kennel just so l can attend? Is my Sister to stop working full time as well? Or maybe if we installed a lifeline service we can have someone paid to help you?”
No answer, then the phone went dead.
But he has now crossed my line!
I am losing my rag with this whole affair, and l am inches away from simply walking away, however. I managed to track down the surgery, and have managed also to book a telephone appointment with his doctor on Thursday who may not be able to tell me much, but who knows. even just the name of his oncologist would be something.
My Sister and l had a conversation via FB as she is working, and she rang him, and offered to go and see him on the weekend and help with shopping and he declined her offer under the premise of he will get back to her. Now he is caught in a trap of his own making l feel, he has declined her and waiting to see if l find out that l am able to come down, because he doesn’t want us in the same room together as he will realise he can no longer lie. During her call with him, he never once mentioned he had just spoken to me.
Now, l have to be honest and say that his comment about Scrappy insulted me, it takes a lot and l do mean a lot to actually insult me, in my life l can probably only turn down 8 digits on my hands concerning people who have achieved it – but he did. People can say whatever they want about me l don’t care, but you take shots and my family and l will react. Scrappy is family and more family than he is. You know anyone can be a Father, but it takes a real person to be a Dad, and my Dad aint it!
So l have now sent him an email with a proposal that my Sister and l will come down and see him together next Sunday to call him out on his bluffy bullshit! He shouldn’t decline, after all he has maintained that he has wanted us to be friends for years, despite him being the one to create the rift between us. if we both turn up, he will be stuck, as he slates her off to me and his family, and he slates me off to her and his family. He has a very tough choice to make now, he can either accept our help or potentially lose us both.
Be interesting to see exactly what happens!