Dear Blog … 12.55 – 17/8/18


The Happy Unhappy State of Things…

Well, l had a Doctor’s appointment yesterday morning. I managed to secure an ’emergency appointment’ and as luck would have it, l even managed to see my own Doctor as he was holding that morning’s emergency sessions. Which was a bonus.

I don’t mind my surgery, but l am not particularly au fait with all the other Doctor’s there, and am one of those patients that like to have the familiarity of ‘your Doctor’ over the consideration of being attended to by a handful of Doctors that are not truly aware of who you are and are purely reliant upon the hub computer.

I have been awarded an anti-depressant [Amitriptyline] over simply a stronger pain killer which does irk me slightly, as the biggest problem with depressants is their addictive properties and as a person who has a tendency to become addicted l am going to have to watch how l go with these. I am not sure why l have been given these over say the likes of Tramadol, but l am not a Doctor so who knows?


I am to take one per night and gradually over the course of ten days move myself into taking five a night and reduce the current intake of Zapain which at last count was 12 a day. It’s a real catch 22, induce zombification and supposedly have no pain or keep the pain levels at 50% and only take the Zapain!

Today l do have pain, but also l was remarkably groggy this morning after just one of these tablets last night, so Lord knows what 5 are going to award with no Zapain present.

I am tiring of not being able to do anything effectively as l am not allowed to perform certain tasks with my right arm, as in use it with anything heavy. I am restricted by learned lessons on what l can do in comparison to what l can’t.

Suze would kill me today if she learned of what l have been doing for the last hour which was moving a load of fig tree branches from the front of the house to the back of the house for drying with regards to shredding for next seasons garden mulch. But l didn’t use my right arm once, and sure l am in pain, but l was always told to never look a gift horse in the mouth and so these free branches, fruits and leaves will all serve a brilliant purpose to next years’ gardening.

The branches can be shredded and provide a super soft organic mulch, whilst the fruits and the leaves will be great food for the compost heap and the winter worms.


But by the time she gets back, they will all be away and she’ll not know, and by the time she really registers it, it wont matter as a telling off. My philosophy is quite simple,”It’s just a pinched nerve, l am not dying and l am NOT always going to have it, so at least l am being somewhat useful and productive.”

I also spoke to my Doctor yesterday about My Father, and he was quite right when he simply said that some people, just don’t want help, they want the world to feel sorry for them, but don’t wish to do anything about it, and you can’t help those people whatever you do.

I think that is spot on with regards my father, it doesn’t matter what l do, he is only going to reject it, and then sadly he will simply become even lonelier than he needs to be, but hey no problem, he will get his wish and become the martyr he thinks he is.”

So time will tell on everything, eh? Time always does.

I haven’t rung him since Tuesday when he basically told me to just face facts, so fine, l am facing facts, he knows my number.

Dear Blog ……

15 thoughts on “Dear Blog … 12.55 – 17/8/18

  1. I wish you much relief and I hope things get back to somewhat normal for you. I understand the last bit of your blog. He most certainly does know you number, and sometimes we have to say to ourselves that it is out of our hands and we have to carry on. Spending time on things and people that want to be in our lives.

    1. Hey Michelle, exactly. I was just getting too stressed about it all. I already have enough problems worrying about me, l cannot waste time on my Dad as well.

  2. I hope you find a combination of medication that works for you. Something that doctors tend to forget is that those drugs stay the same…their formula and whatever chemicals are in them or substances do not change. But people? Ah. We’re so diverse that how can ONE medication do justice? Some people simply won’t tolerate it or will have side effects. I’ve used anti-depressants for years now (I have chronic depression) and I have gone through a wide series of them from Prozac to Zoloft (and a whole bunch of others). Zoloft is the one that works best for me, but I’ve heard from others who have taken it that it made them feel ‘drugged’ ‘sleepy’ ‘stoned’ etc etc. I can’t take Prozac for those same reasons. Tramadol is my preferred pain medication WHEN I need some. I usually just rely on Tylenol or Excedrin. I can’t take stuff like lortab, oxycontin or any of the high end pain meds. They make me psychotic. So, although I don’t know why your doctor is messing with your meds, except that you’ve apparently got a pinched nerve and are in great pain; I hope for the best outcome for you, your girl and K9 Doodlepip. The world would be dark without your writing. Keep on please!

    1. Hey Melanie, l am not too sure why there is this need for Doctors over here to continually promote anti-depressants, but in the last five years alone there has been a significant increase in surgeries for Doctors to keep on prescribing these to people who don’t need them.

      My current pills were not advertised to me as ‘antidepressants’ for the depression side but for the other side of the ‘relief’ they can award supposedly.

      I didn’t want any tablets in my system, and have battled to not have any at all. Normally l am pretty hardy, however this has floored me terribly and all l want is to be pain free, so l have to wait the demise of the pinched nerve, but l am sorely disappointed that the best they can offer me is something for depression rather than pain.

  3. They claim Acupuncture is a good way to fix a Pinched nerve, I’m with you on not wanting meds in my system if at all possible.
    Getting off those anti-depressants can be a nightmare as well.


        1. Hey Dream,

          Yes l did in fact,

          He said he was prescribing me the anti-depressants as a ‘starting stage’ to medication and that although they were an anti-depressant l was not to hyperfocus on the ‘depression’ side to the medication, but more on the relaxant side which would direct the relief to the muscle and the nerve damage.

          That aside, my argument back was that Tramadol is an effective pain killer rather than a potentially dangeous addictive agent. He said to come back in three to four weeks to report on the progression and overall effectiveness.

          My concerns lie in the addiction properties and as said my tendency towards the associated problems connected with this particular drug.

          I guess l will have to see what the situation is like in the next two weeks. It’s not just the addiction potential it is the side effects as well.

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