Will the real Ben Dover please be upstanding!


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August 2018

Will the real Ben Dover please be upstanding!


They weren’t planted as gourds, they were planted as either squash or courgettes, l know right how did we make the error? The answer is simple, we don’t know, somehow the garden pixies got into the seed containers and mixed them around is all we can think! We normally try and plant things we can eat, not things that could be used as some kind of caveman club weapon! But as Socrates said, “Shit happens!”


Spaceship Squash


Despite not being a keen green finger gardener, l have missed this summer opportunity of being in the garden and missed being able to attend to my compost. It has sat there for most of this year with no loving attention adhered to its browness. It has festered away, been invaded by a mighty ant nest, then a mighty woodlice army. I haven’t seen my buddies the slow worms, nor been able to take any photographs of this years hatchlings.


The lonely compost heap!

Suze bless her, has done an incredible job, she has been working a full time job, and with our merciless summer as in very little rain until recently has carted watering cans back and forth throughout the garden to attend to the plants growing. It can take 16 watering cans to feed the few plants we have growing this year, but 16 cans being walked backwards and forwards over the length of 80 feet from the tap to the end of the garden with one can in each hand means that Suze is trudging roughly a total of 600 feet there abouts and after a hard day at work in an office which for the better part of the summer has been hotter than outside, has been hard graft. We opted to NOT use the hose due to not wanting to be charged a horrendous bill at the end of the quarter.

However we have had a bumper crop of cucumbers, courgettes, beans, squash and marrow recently, so it has been not a bad harvest, but not brilliant due to the lack of natural waterfall. Other adventures have proven successful during the course of the summer such as the strawberries and the potatoes. Our herbs have performed well, with the mints performing exceedingly well,  the Marshmallow made quite an appearance although that is dying back now, it’s the root that is really the beauty there. But the rosemary, thymes and sages have all done well.


Aubergines just starting to flower.



Peppers [hot/sweet] finally making some headway.

The peppers both hot and sweet were later plantings and so we missed the harvest we had on them last year and we still have a lot of 2017’s crop in the freezer, but we will move those into the house come the winter months. Our aubergines are just starting to flower, so who knows what they might produce for us in the time left with this year.


Tomatoes just starting to colour – phew!! Mind you, they could still be chutney!



We learned a lot about tomoatoes this year, and after watching a guide, we chopped off all the unnecessary leaves so as to encourage the water to the fruit instead, as they were insistant on being green but not so much red, and now they are starting to colour up, helped and encouraged along with the tomato feed. Our little cucamelon is quite possibly the dinkiest plant we have and it holds a lot of cuteness with its little cucamelons wrapped around one of our palm trees.


Dinky Cucamelons




Horseradish 2018 [Tub]


Horseradish plant doing very well in its second year, mind you if you can see Scrappy in there, well done, because these days she tries to remain hidden from me! But she is there – trust me. She is looking for the hedgehog that has taken up residency beneath our bug hotel.



This year we are determined to make good use of our horseradish plant and roots, and we will be giving horseradish sauce home grown to our friends as presents for Christmas. Our peas were a waste of time and they went to seed before they ripened due to requiring more water, but hey everything is a lesson learned eh?



With the second Ben ‘rising’ to the occasion!

The gourds that were never meant to be made an appearance with some serioulsy funnier shapes than last years round jobbies, and our first born we christianed Ben Dover in salut to the infamous star of the adult industry himself!


Last weeks harvest minus the giveaways to the neighbours.

We have enjoyed as indeed have our neighbours a seriously huge bumper crops of courgettes and cucumbers, this photo is just a sample of what was pulled off last week alone, and there are still more growing. But last week Suze harvested off 19 cucumbers and 15 courgettes!!

Now we are preparing to plant for some of the winter crops and early spring crops.

Till next time folks, but l leave you with the real garden fourpawman during her rounds!


Thanks for reading.

Rory, Suze and Doodlepip!

9 thoughts on “Will the real Ben Dover please be upstanding!

  1. You’re doing really well. The result of a lot of hard work no doubt.

    We planted sugar snap peas but only got about four or five pods off them. Our Blackcurrants did well, I made blackcurrant curd from some of them and froze the rest.

    Our Runners and french beans have done better but the pods are really stringy so I decided to take out all the beans and make a Bean Hummous out of them which was really delicious. I have to remember that for when our Veggie friends come round.

    The Elephant garlic turned out well. I used one clove in the hummous (mentioned above).

    The crop we’ve been most pleased about is the sweetcorn. I’ve never grown it before and it has turned out really lovely, I will definitely do that again next year.

    It’s so nice to get a reward for all the planning and digging. 🙂

    1. Brilliant stuff Kristian.

      I grew sweetcorn last year, but had a very poor result, and was planning to plant them this year but differently due to the learning curve last year, but with me out of action for 2018, we decided against it.

      We have also noticed that the beans this year have been very stringly more so than last year. we made the error l think of planting some courgettes below them as a companion and we now know that was possibly a huge error and more so given the summer we have just has. Next year we are planning on having the beans in a deeper soil as well. problem with beans and courgettes is that they are both thirsty drinkers.

      we have raspberries planted for next year and gooseberries out back, so we are hoping they do well, and this week we are planting some redcurrants in.

      I had some fantastic elephant garlic from the Isle of Wight as we both love garlic as indeed l see you do too, but for some reason that sadly floundered and died early part of this year. I think although planting last year the confusion of our seasons from winter 2017 screwed up the bioclock for the garlic which was a sad loss.

      Yes it is a very rewarding experience growing your own for the table. 🙂

      1. It’s interesting because I tried elephant garlic last year and it failed, then this year I planted four bulbs in November and harvested five large (Size of two fists) bulbs, one must have lain dormant since last year. Have you done potatoes? We grow ours in sacks, much easier although you don’t get such a big yield.

  2. Nice harvest Rory looks like Sue did a good job, I had a veggie garden in my twenties when I still lived with my parents, I was small but because I heavily furtilized the ground everything grow 2 to 3 time’s it’s normal size I had a nuff to feed a couple of families, tomatoes twice the size of a soft ball, carets the size of cucumbers, lettice the size of a basketball and sweet corn the size of eggplants, my father was jelies and pissed about it. ❤️✌️


    1. Ha ha brilliant 🙂

      Yes, my compost has certainly boosted the crops here, but to the size of the ones you mention. I think Suze would have had heart siezure if we had plants treble the size that we already do lol.

      1. I spent a lot of money on all different kinds of furtilizer’s and mixed them all into the ground together and used liquid furtilizer’s tell the plants came up so all that helped a lot. ❤️✌️

        BY FOR NOW

        1. I make my own here, a real beauty of a crop, well l was lol, until this damn pinched nerve took over my life, now my compost heap is just looking forlorn 🙂

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