Why me????????????????????????????? WHY WHY WHY?
Picture the scene, for those who know what is about to be written look away!
Ok, so l am not brilliant on a bike to begin with, my balance is like that of a spider ….. single white male, unbalanced, shorts, trainers, t-shirt, glasses 2.5 miles to shop!
Journey down was fine, bar the fact they are cutting the fields, so there is a million trillion zillion bugs in the air – it was the return trip!
Outside the shop, my plastic bags’ handle broke, so l tied it together and had to hold it in left hand plus hold left handlebar! Half way back, a bug lodged itself in my left eye, a wasp stung me on my right arm, my glasses slid down my nose, and l swerved out to the middle of the road, when a truck honked me up my ass, and caused me to swerve dramatically to the left, at which point l hit a pot hole, my bag fell to the ground , my back wheel ran over it, my bike hopped, and l swerved further into the grassy bank, down the slope and into a very large deep dyke with roughly 6″ of stank crap! Fell over the handlebars off the bike and then the bike fell ontop of me ……why me???
I stink of frog spawn! I have bits of God knows what in my boxers, and still have bugs everywhere!
Facebook Memory from 2 August 2011 RM
Mm, to find a quote for this ….
“Clumsiness would be just as deadly an opponent.”
― Rachel Caine