Dear Blog … 10.55 – 21/7/18


Apparently l don’t get all the hullabaloo?

Suddenly out the blue or the baloo yesterday, Suze declared with a sharp intake of breath “Oh my god, l am going to be 60 in three years time!”

Well considering that we had been talking of gardening, l was a little confused at this declaration and my puzzlement must have shown on my face for her to follow up with “Oh of course you don’t get it do you?”

“Sure l do, you are going to be 60 in three years time, it’s not rocket science, but in truth, you’re not yet 57 until October which is a few months off anyway.”

“Yes of course Mr Logic has to remind me of that!”

“But you just said you are going to be 60 in three years time, are we not talking age?”

It’s just a number to you isn’t it? It’s alright for you you are not going to be 60 until 2023!”

“Yeah, is this like a trick question darling, have l missed a huge chunk of something in so far as conversation? I ask, because l have just taken fresh tablets and they tend to addle my brain for the first half hour, so if l have missed something, l am really sorry.”

“No, you haven’t missed anything, l am simply saying that l am going to be 60 in three years time!”

Suze was confusing me, was there something in that statement that was supposed to mean something? Was she referring to her birthday in October, why was she talking about being 60 in a few years time? What was the relevance?

“I can see you are overthinking this aren’t you?” She said looking at me.

“Well, not really, no more than most, but admittedly l am a slightly bit befuddled at this information. What do you wish for me to do with it or about it? i can’t stop you reaching 60.”

“I am not asking you to do anything with it, l am simply saying l am going to be 60 in three years time!” She answered in a flustered tone.

“Are you worried about hitting 60?”

“No, l was just simply saying l was.”

“But you’re not 60 yet babes?”

“No, but l soon will be, that’s what l am saying. The question is Rory, where has the time gone?”

“Well time passes us all by, if l worked on that theory l could say to myself Oh no, l was 50 only yesterday and now l am 55. You know there is only 18 months between us, right?”

“What’s that got to do with anything?”

“Nothing, l am just saying that’s all. What’s this really about?”

“I am getting older, that’s what it’s all about!”

“But we all are, that’s what happens with time. We all age, it’s unavoidable, there are mo fountains of youth, or elixirs , no anti-aging tablets to be taken, no time reversal machines …”

“You just don’t get it do you?”

“No, apparently not, l don’t get all the hullabaloo.”

Suze then walked off muttering that l was clueless.

Can anyone shed any light on this?

Dear Blog ……

13 thoughts on “Dear Blog … 10.55 – 21/7/18

  1. Well……it’s just a guess but either she never really imagined herself turning 60 years old before, or…she’s feeling the effects of a nuance of cultural sexism? Not from you, though inadvertently you may be somewhat representative.

    See, guys in our culture “age gracefully” and are generally considered to be “distinguished” as they get older. Women on the other hand…we have a shelf life and expiration date just about or at least that’s how it can feel a lot of the time. It is usually quite a bit earlier than 60 that many women start feeling like we are past our shelf life, usually it starts when we start getting noticeable gray streaks in our hair.

    If we don’t start dyeing our hair at that point, we ah….well it can feel like we are fading away, becoming invisible to other people, they stop asking for ID for alcohol purchases, they start calling us “ma’am” if they suddenly discover us in their path and almost trip over us. But mostly they start trying to avoid making eye contact, and if they can’t avoid it, they start speaking slowly, over-enunciating, increasing the volume of voice, and dismissing what we say, especially if has anything to do with a medical complaint.

    Possibly it’s a little bit of both.

    Perhaps she noticed her female members “become old” around age 60 and start experiencing the big shut out, and thinks she is only 3 years away from it. Actually, people are in generally better health and are living much longer than previous generations, so 60 is still pretty young yet especially if she is in generally good health now. Old age doesn’t really start to set in until the mid to late 70’s now, maybe not until the 80’s if it in good health.

    People are living past 100 now, but culturally speaking, she might have to sharpen her glare, tongue and wit and remind younger folks she is still far from any graves and still fully capable of grabbing some ears if they don’t act decent.

    Or I could be completely off, you never know, lol.
    But good luck!

    1. Well it probably is a combination of those things Cherilyn.

      Age has never bothered me in truth, and l had always thought that Suze wasn’t bothered, she certainly never let on that she considered it a problem.

      The greying phase never bothered me, l know she has her hair dyed and in fact she has a hair appointment next week for that very thing.

      I tell her constantly that age is really just a number, it’s nothing more. She is in good shape, good health and will probably see a ripe old age 🙂

      But admittedly l was astonished at the suddeness of this small conversation.

      I think it might be something she has been talking of in the last few months since her daughter moved out to Australia and that is, that she is not seeing her grandkids grow up in her zone, and they are simply getting older and she is not there to celebrate that fact.

      Suze is very family orientated, whilst l am not and at every opportunity she can, she goes out to visit them. i know she has a planned few weeks out there in the next few months.

      But you may well be right, l think it’s a combination of events and situations that makes her think of the aging process.

      Hope you are well 🙂

      1. Heh, yeah to most guys I know aging is just a number. For women, it’s different, some men (and many women too) are constantly questioning our competence and worth, hence why many women equate their value relative to family (and thus are family oriented). As women get older, it gets progressively worse, I don’t know how many times I had to just about force doctors and nurses to take my own mother seriously and to stop treating her like she was a small child when she was 64 years old.

  2. Cherilyn makes very good reasoning from your unexpected conversation. If it were me, it would be a shocking realisation that OMG I’ll be 60 in 3 years!!! On a similar note, I said to a friend the other day that in 5 years time my boys will be 20 & 21… scary! Five years doesn’t seem that long away but the thought of the children being proper young men is difficult to comprehend… I’m sure you & I would have had a similar exchange Rory! 😀

    1. Oh yes, l have already had those conversations with Suze Karen.

      Her two are 34/36 and the grandkids are various ages – l swear kids age people sooner than they should 🙂

  3. Sorry Rory but this one made me lafe, Suze probably had something happen that made her think about her age, women see getting older as a lose of their beauty and attractive nice and it bother’s them a lot it’s an emotional thing that can’t be rashonalized with logic it’s heart felt that is why she walked of muttering to her self in frustraten she was looking for a emotional response from you about it, I hope this helps you out some Rory. ❤️✌️


    1. Well that might be it also Dawn, although Suze still looks great for her age and is aging better than l am. I am only 55 and yet there are days when l look 75.

      Who knows, the more l think on it and look back at the conversation, l think it might be to do with the fact that she is missing her grandkids.

      But sometimes l need things in black and white, and because of that and the fact that she couldn’t vocalise her feelings, l wasn’t much help to her.


      1. Ya at times it’s hard to put emotions into words that others can understand a bit of reading between the lines is needed at this times. ❤️✌️

        BY FOR NOW

        1. True, l am pretty good at reading Suze – however since the menopause entered her life she has changed a lot. Now don’t get me wrong, in comparison to the woman she was when l first met l am thrilled at the changes in her life because all of them have been brilliant for her. But some things are more of a trick to glean the inner knowledge to.

          1. It’s not gust you dear most guys don’t get or pick up on matter of the heart and get confused by it because of their logical thinking emotions are ellogical. ❤️✌️

            BY FOR NOW

            1. To a certain degree l can agree to that. Not all, l am pretty clued up on matters of the heart – but and this is a big but that stands with everyone l feel, That none of us cannot stand in the shoes of the other person and because of that, we are unable to pin point with a total certainty what they are feeling.

              The same can be applied to men as well. Suze knows me better than most partners l have ever had, and by this l would suggest that she knows 90% of me, because l allow that % to be known, and the remaining 10% is the stuff we don’t let out. The same applies to her from me, l know 90% of her.

              With the menopause at her own concession it changes the way you think, because what used to be a priority is no longer a priority, and what never used to be a priority becomes a consideration.

              Is she worried about getting older? No l don’t think so, she might be more concerned about the fact that as she is ageing her body is not as young as her mind, and therefore she is not able to do certain things physically that she was able to do when say 50, and l think this is a concern to her.

              She is not a vain woman and has never been a girly woman if that makes for sense, she is very practical and down to earth. But she still has dreams and motivations of things she would like to do, and maybe that also takes a part in her concerns 🙂

              1. Yes that is qwit true we can’t stand in someone else’s shoes and know exactly what their feeling and thinking it’s a gesing game at times, yes pysical restraints do to aging are a pain in the ass as well that way on are minds. ❤️✌️

                BY FOR NOW

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