Mr Inappropriate 1979B
And off l walked after she went into her house, and when the house wasn’t in view l ran all the way home and happy as could be, this was great as long as nothing went wrong. What could go wrong?
Well truth be known, what could go wrong? I could go wrong and l did!
Sarah and l had a great day, it wasn’t anything special, not really, but it was if that makes for sense. It was special because Sarah was the first girl l had ever actually taken out … ever! Sixteen years of age, and l had never even held a girls’ hand, let alone placed my arm around one that wasn’t my mother, so on that level it was special.
The day itself was basically just a trip down into Woking town centre, a Wimpy lunch, a walk around a park, back home and then taking Bertie out for a walk, and that was it. It was great!
She said she found me funny, that l could talk about all sorts of things, that l was kind of weird in a nice way, in fact Sarah was the first person to ever call me ‘Quirky, and it became her nickname for me during the short time we were a couple. It was a very short time indeed, in fact it didn’t even make a week.
Sarah was a year my juinor, so 15 despite being in the same year. You see, coming back from Australia as l had done in 77, l had to drop back a year so as to catch up with British schooling, which made me a year older than most of my class.
I tried to be the best l could be at whatever ‘we’ were. She called me her boyfriend, but l wasn’t totally happy with that title and never once said she was my girlfriend, which in essence she was of course, being she was my friend, and a girl. But l had some things nagging at me, niggling at me. I was shy, and she did boost my confidence and l have to award her credit. But you will and undoubtedly know by now that l didn’t know l was on the spectrum. Sarah wanted to take things further, and l didn’t, oh l don’t mean that way, although l think she did, but whilst l liked her, a bit of kissing and cuddling was one thing, but the next level at 16? No, that wasn’t happening, plus she was only 15, and that just didn’t seem right.
I wasn’t a prude back then, l just didn’t fancy her that way, and was an old romantic, l wanted my first time to be with the person l truly loved. My mother had pumped into me growing up, that beauty fades and love will go on long after, and that sex whilst nice wasn’t everything, and that your first time should be with someone that you truly loved and not some puppy love adoration. So l was cool with that.
It was Monday the 15th when we broke up, also the day of my 16th birthday.
We had been an official couple for approximately 3 days, our first date had been the 13th May 1979.
Sarah had invited me to her house for a surprise, and as it turned out, it was a cake she had made, and l was to properly meet her parents and the rest of her family … and her sister!!!!
Well there have been times in my life that l wished l hadn’t opened my mouth and spoken the truth, and back then on the 15th May 1979, that was to turn out to be one of those days! One of the first of many. You see there is truth and then there is ‘Shut the fuck up don’t say anything else’ truth. I have never been very good at working the second.
Sitting down at the table, suddenly this girl appeared and oh my, l realised in that second, l had made a terrible mistake, five seconds later l realised l had made the second most horrible mistake. The first was a classic case of mistaken identity, see from the list below that l displayed in the part 1, the ‘problems’. I have highlighted the niggles that entered my logical mind in the first five seconds…
1] She walked the dog between the times of 4.30pm and 5pm
2] Sometimes she wore her hair in a bob, and other times longer?
3] Sometimes she looked taller than other days??
4] Sometimes she looked prettier than other days???
5] Sometimes she looked like someone else??
6] Sometimes she wore a different school uniform??
7] Sometimes she talked to her dog in an animated fashion and other times never?
8] Sometimes she smiled at me and sometimes she didn’t know who l was??
9] Sometimes she said hello, and other times she said nothing but just looked at me as if l was a three headed alien?
10] At all times the Basset greeted me!
Sarah said, “Rory, have you met my sister Jordon?” Well l am none too sure if my jaw hurt itself when it hit the floor, when she said that? But something addled my brain. “Your sister, your sister, that’s the pretty one l wanted to ask out first!”
You know those times when they say that you could hit a pin fall? That was one of those times! For all of ten seconds. Jordon, suddenly blushed up and ran from the dining room, and Sarah, well l don’t even think l could write the raw emotional rage that l saw in her eyes! What happened next happened very quickly!
Sarah burst into tears, her Mother swore and her father grabbed me by the scruff of my neck, threw me out the door, then ten seconds later came back out, grabbed me again by the scruff of my shirt collar and then frog marched me up and back down to my own house. Still holding me as he was , when the door opened my Mother demanded to know what was going on and insisted that the father let go of me, which he refused and said not till he met my father, who wasn’t home, and my mother then punched, or slap punched him across the face and he dropped me!
He then explained how l was totally inappropriate as a human being and shouldn’t be allowed out upsetting innocent girls, and more so to not even look at any of his daughters again.
I was still a little confused as to what was going on, and simply said “It was just a fact that was all, l still like Sarah, l was simply stating that Jordon was the one l had wanted to ask out!”
Well, my mother sent me to my room till my father got home. Mr Sarah’s dad had gone and my mother came up and asked what had happened? So l told her, to which she replied, “Whilst l don’t agree with the way he handled you, this was a case of being ‘inappropriate’, and that l needed to exercise my ‘shut the fuck up’ behaviour more.”
But that’s the story of my first ever date when l was 16, and my first ever break up on my 16th!
Go Figure, some people are just way too sensitive!
Sarah never spoke to me again.