From this point on l would advise viewer discretion whilst reading The Remains of the Day! Whilst this episode is mild, from tomorrow we venture into the path of taboo!
Remains of the Day
The Interview Part 2
Now Janine Might is really getting into the story,
And again requests a refreshing of her wine,
She looks woozy as she listens to the cafes’ history,
I on the other hand, dribble as l think of her rounded behind!
I see she is indeed listening for she raises,
The subject of the Leopard Society and what it means,
Which l answer her with praises,
And blessings that she is so, so keen,
To learn about the ways of the café and all its secrets,
Of which that all our clients, and our regulars too,
Are paid up members to this zealot,
Styled society of diners true,
For it sits within the themed environment as well,
Of Le Cafe Cannibal and its quaint yet uncanny ways,
Where upon all members enjoy the wearing of the clientele,
Hides and skins of fallen animals that have seen better days!
That our in house clothier Edward Gene,
Is quite the seamster at heart,
And can ‘knock up’ some very fine themes,
From the skins of the departed!
First before the delightful menu is discussed,
She wishes to know about the decoration that adorns the restaurant,
What inspired me to dress it up as such,
So tribal and native and so full of decadence?
“Well if you consider that the restaurants’ name itself is based,
Upon the eating of flesh, rather apt l believe,
We had to make the clients understand the actual taste,
And in so doing it could only be achieved,
By displaying such ornaments from the tribes in which,
I earned so much of my valuable experience from,
By elaborating upon this style we enrich,
The overall ambience from their eyes to their ears with bongo drums!
Yes indeed, we have many original artefacts,
From longboats, to hunting weapons to skulls,
To statues, carvings and heavy war axes,
Animals hide and skins and even voodoo dolls!
Everything had to be just right and perfect
In order for those involved with us here at the café,
To thoroughly enjoy the eating experience and concept,
When participating and contributing towards the buffet”
Janine Might is indeed feeling the weight of our wine,
For she missed that little slip of the tongue,
But no problem, l will explain it again to her in time,
Quite possibly the moment before l slice off her bum!
She does however comment upon the presence of the cooking pot,
The huge ceramic shaped bowl that takes central position,
Within the actual restaurant,
Remarking that she finds this a realistic edition,
To the overall environment of the tribal inclination,
And is truly captivated by the fact,
That at this current time the logs beneath are under ignition,
Admitting also that she finds this arousing and attractive!
And now she wishes for me to discuss the dishes that we serve,
From the menu that is one of the best in all Europe,
As such winning the respect from our diners that it justly deserves,
Quite possibly the most specialised from anywhere around the globe!
“Our a la carte is split into three main sections,
Each titled with its own name,
Under each is an extremely wide selection,
Of meats and dishes that fall under ‘game’
There are as you can see, three styles of this title,
‘Big Game, Local Game and In House Game’
We specialise in ensuring that all the dishes served are delightful,
And that each of our clients or customers are excited and become inflamed,
“By the way in which it is cooked and as such served,
At the table in which they are residing,
We can of course cook the meats to the way it is preferred,
Always mindful of course that we are abiding,
By health standards as laid down by our own codes,
Of conduct, which were established so long ago,
By Lecter and myself on the road,
To where we are now and this splendid tableau,
I can see that you are curious to the term ‘Game’
Well l shall describe it to you further,
And in so doing it will explain,
Exactly what we do here so you can describe it well in the Restaurateur,
Because we offer so many exciting dishes, we had to display,
Them in an easier to understand language,
So that the average customer was not in the grey,
And made them look foolish or assuage!
Big game is or are the meat dishes of our large exotic range,
Of animals that we cook here,
Local game, the animals that are hunted on our own grange,
Whilst In House are the rare dishes that we adhere,
To in true Le Cafe Cannibal tradition,
Not often are we able to enjoy this truest of gourmet ‘Specials’
But every now and again, we do get to enjoy the richest of nutrition,
Provided by this sumptuous healthful,
“Only clients of the leopard society itself are allowed,
To order from the Local and in House selections,
Whilst the average cover are well endowed,
In their choices from the other section,
The In House is a bidder’s market,
And as such is usually the time of great excitement,
From the Leopards who spend huge amounts to get,
Their chosen cut, joint or other segment,
Of the rare meat that is offered from the pot,
Yes, the cooking pot in the centre there,
Is indeed one of the restaurants top cooking spots,
And only our Sous chef serves the shares!”
Janine Might l see in her slowly intoxicating position,
Is baffled by this latest bit of information,
And wishes to understand more of my last omission,
The wine affects her so, and leads to a confused frustration,
“I tell you what Janine” Says l,
“When the Interview is complete and you have written it up and sent it away,
You need to come by,
And sit down for a meal here, and relax from your working day,
We as it happens do have tonight an In House Auction,
You will be able to see for yourself what it involves,
And your confusion will disappear from my concoction,
You will see the bid from start to finish and then know how it evolves?”
She is happy at this, and we again start to discuss the menu,
Asking what meats we have in the Big Game selection,
“It is a rare choice indeed that l offer my customers from my venue,
Of which we have always striven to offer nothing but perfection,
So here you will see, if you cast your eyes,
Tiger, Lion, Wolf, Elephant, Camel and even Kangaroo,
Not forgetting Alligator, Crocodile and Chamois,
But we also have Lynx, Gazelle, Ostrich and Emu too,
Our Hunters for the Big Game are always busy,
Herr Worr Wulvf and his team are all over the place,
In so many exotic locations around the world, it makes me dizzy!
But always they return with the biggest of exotic braces!
“They keep our cold rooms and freezers stocked for months,
So we never fall short of choice,
And whatever the weather we are always able to function,
And our client base is constantly overjoyed,
Local game you now refer to l see,
Are quite simply small mammals here from our home grange,
That is available constantly,
From the Carpathian mountain range,
Again Herr Wulvf and his team of highly skilled ranchers,
Scour the countryside to procure suitable delicacies,
And never fail do they, to capture,
Fine examples for Le Cafe Cannibal festivities!
“Like many other eating establishments,
We too offer fine vegetables and fruits,
Again from all over the world’s environment,
From Timbuktu to Beirut,
Vegetables that you have obviously heard about,
The usual as they are seen and sold,
To rarer shoots, beans and sprouts,
And others that live in jungles untold!
Fruit forms an healthy part of our diet here and we do endeavour,
To ensure that we have the largest selection possible,
So that our chefs here can create some very clever,
Desserts and pies for our gourmet carnival!”
Janine requests a small leave of absence to clear her head,
She feels somewhat tired and tipsy,
No doubt incurred by our in house best full bloodied red!
But soon she is back, albeit slightly giddy, but just as cheery!
The night is still young, and l have ordered her some crackers,
To absorb the wine and dry her out somewhat,
Which will enable her to hear my answers,
To her interview questions no doubt,
She wants to know how many we can seat,
“We have eighty covers here l tell her so,
Although Leopard society members make up for roughly 85 percent,
But the rest of the tables are here for those who come and go.”
And what time do they start to arrive for it does seem a little empty?
“Most of the client diners arrive around eleven,
Although our passing trade starts to come in around now, see.”
I point to a small group of travellers numbering seven.
“The night is still early here Janine.” l add.
Most of the regulars come from afar,
But soon we will fill up and you will be glad,
For real parties begin and it will start to resemble an eastern bazaar!
Why did l think to add all the additional retail outlets?
She asks with her slurred voice,
“To make it a complete venue, and not to just have my eggs in one basket,
After all here at Le Café Cannibal it’s about choice,
So to have a 14 roomed Inn made for perfect sense,
We here in Magura are out of the way,
So to provide a night rest,
Means that travellers can start fresh the next day,
To have a barber was just a request from Swonny Todd,
He is quite adept with a knife,
And with the Inn it did not seem so very odd,
So we all agreed we should try,
The health spar is a regular feature for our clients,
Using it daily to keep fit,
Lowering their Cholesterol levels for science,
Rather than suffering from it becoming too thick,
The clothiers was an idea from Edward Gene,
One which has become very popular,
For as l have previously said he is quite a mean,
Seamster all said and done, and is loved by our regulars!
Plus we have all the other features as seen by those similar,
Fishing, shooting, hunting and of course trekking,
Indeed we offer most all that they would so require,
From a complex such as we have here in the Carpathian.”
She is very impressed she states,
At everything she has already seen and now hears,
And believes it would be a colossal mistake,
If those who read the article did not ever eat here!
With this, she informs me that she needs to write it all out,
And she will now retire to her room,
Once she is done she will give me a shout,
So that l may fax it to her office in Rome,
She excuses herself, and saunters off towards the Inn,
Whilst l simply sit back,
Enjoying the rear view with a sly grin,
Knowing it will not be long before l too..
…can partake in a bidder’ snack!
Back by popular request – repost.
Episodes 4, 5, 6 and Back story tomorrow.
Guy or Bloke, Your Choice