Our first challenge for 2018 was this: It’s Write Nifty With A Snifty!
Now for a recap on the rules:
I will ask one question every three days, so a total of ten questions over the duration of one month. You must answer at least seven of the ten questions to qualify as an entry. However, l do like a bit of a crypticness to things, so there is a twist, but l am not going to tell you here and the only way you can find out what the twist is – is if you [entrant] hear from me during the period of the month before the competition has ended.
The prizes for the challenge are:
2 winners of 1 pen.
Bronze Runner Ups
2 winners of 2 pens.
Silver Runner Ups
1 winner of 4 pens.
= 10 Pens per challenge are awarded out.
Also the Judge is awarded a set of 4 pens
The cryptic part to the challenge was that the person l contacted was to act as the judge, and this difficult task fell to our very own Britchy of Bitchin’ in the Kitchen, who also must create the name of the winning post.
My thanks to all for taking part in the first of our 2018 Challenges.
Our Winners Are:
However for this particular challenge we only have 4 entrants that qualified with the minimum of 7 out of 10 answered, but what we also have is some truly wonderful answers and l wish to display those to you all below.
But first my sincere thanks and congratulations to Kristian, Angie, KKatch and Jay-lyn – job well done 🙂
My sincere thanks also to Britchy for acting as my Mystery judge to challenge one – thank you 🙂
Also my thanks to everyone who participated!
The Collected Misdeeds Of Hapless Bloggers
Q1] What is the dumbest way you’ve ever been injured?
“I was in the operating room, for cataract surgery (performed with a microscope). I leaned over the patient to make sure the monitors were in place, the oxygen was properly fitted in the patient’s nose, etc. When I stood up I hit the microscope so hard with my head that I fell on the floor seeing stars.”
“I remember once, driving with my friend to pick up his father from the hospital. I was driving the family utility vehicle because it was manual and my friend could only drive automatic. I dropped him off at the hospital then parked the truck. I then decided to run in to the hospital, but unfortunately I tripped over my own feet and flew through the air and skidded along the rough tarmac path. So there was I, supposed to pick up my friends dad and I ended up limping into the hospital with my knees bleeding! I felt so silly, I was even laughing because I realised how ridiculous that situation was. After the nurses cleaned up my knees and stuck some plasters on them, we all left the hospital and my friend said to me. “You’ve always got to make an entrance haven’t you!” Like I had done it on purpose!”
Q2] What’s the most ridiculous thing someone has tricked you into doing or believing?
“Ohmygod. This is embarrassing. Let me premise to say, I am gullible, okay?? Maybe less so nowadays…. Growing up in rural Alaska, my knowledge of certain things in life is admittedly limited. When I had been married less than a year, over twenty years ago now, my husband told me tales of life in the lower 48. One thing I’ve always appreciated about Alaska is we have no poisonous spiders, no snakes, no crazy bugs (and the ones we do have are bug-sized, not small pet-sized like I’ve seen pictures of). But the worst, he told me, was about the bone ticks they have down there. Bone ticks?? Yes. Bone ticks, he claimed, were much worse than regular ticks. Regular ticks simply bury their head into you and suck your blood. Bone ticks, though, have specially shaped bodies that enables them to actually bury completely through skin and muscle to embed themselves right into your bone. And apparently you don’t know they’re there for a really long time. To the point where you can get very sick and eventually even die. Now remember, this was before smartphones and widespread internet. This was when we actually went to a library to do research. So, I believed my new husband since he was born and raised there. He would know about these things. I was disgusted beyond belief. How anyone ever went walking in the woods or camping or fishing or other outdoor activities, I would never understand. The horror!! I determined that when we went to visit his family in Washington state, I would decline any offers of camping with them. No. Thank you. So…. a couple months pass and we fly down so I can meet his mom for the first time. Her and her husband are also camping and fishing folk like we are so there’s lots of common ground. One afternoon we are sitting at the kitchen table and my mother-in-law and I are chatting, get-to-know-you stuff… and of course camping gets brought up. “What I don’t understand,” I confide, “is how you can be brave enough to go camping with all the bone ticks around…. doesn’t it freak you out??” A nervous smile breaks across her face, “bone ticks?” “Yeah, you know, those ticks that bury themselves down into your bones and eat your marrow and make you really sick? Aren’t you worried about them??” A pause. Then she breaks out into a real-life guffaw “BONE TICKS!!!!” She manages between fits of exuberant laughter. I’m looking at her confused… then I see the realization cross her face as she realizes that I actually believe what I’m saying. Her eyes sweep to her wicked son. He’s barely containing himself, which I’m just now noticing. Then my own realization dawns: I’ve been tricked again!! Damn it!! We all laughed hard after that but, to this day, when he says something I don’t believe, I always ask for the qualifier: “is this True or Bone-Tick-True?”
“When I was young, I was quite a gullible little lad, when told they’d taken dictionary out of the dictionary I actually checked, but probably the person who made a fool out of me most regularly was my Mum. She loved playing April fools, and I just happened to live in the same house as her until I went to University, so I was a sitting target!
The worst case, I remember is when I just started secondary school, so I would have been 11. My form teacher was a very strict but excellent teacher who’s name escaped me but let’s call her Mrs Reilly. She had obviously made quite an impression on me because I must have mentioned her quite a bit to my Mum, at dinner or whenever she asked me how school had gone. That year April Fools day must have been on the weekend and I remember the phone ringing about 7am and I was still in bed. My Mum came in (she was always up at the crack of dawn) and told me Mrs Reilly was on the phone and wanted to talk to me. I remember feeling quite surprised that my teacher had phoned me at the weekend. I picked up the phone and a woman’s voice said “Is that you Kristian. I am phoning you because there was some extra home work that I forgot to set you, have you got a pen and paper handy?” I then ran downstairs picked up the pen and paper and dashed back upstairs only to find my mum crying with laughter and the woman on the phone turned out to be one of my aunts! How could I have been so Gullible? My picture is probably next to the word in the dictionary”
Q3] Where is the worst smelling place you’ve ever been?
“The one that comes to mind was a couple months ago. I was in France with French Charming and the kids. French Charming is a cleaning ninja. He cleans all the time. I wanted to be helpful and noticed the french kitty’s litter “hut” (it’s a covered box with a flap door) was smelling particularly foul. I decided to clean it. When I took the cover off the smell made me gag. So I put Kleenex up both nostrils (I looked like a walrus with the Kleenex hanging out both sides of my nose) and began to clean the box. It was the worst smell ever! Despite the Kleenex I could still smell it. And when I started scooping it got worse. I must have gagged 10 times. The kids were there laughing at me. Tears were running down my face as I laughed and gagged until the box was clean. In the end we figured out it was some new litter French Charming bought. He was instructed to never buy that brand again!!”
“The outside freezer. Apparently came unplugged during winter. Not knowing. It got warm out. I kept smelling something out near there. Finally, I open the freezer. It’s full of rotting salmon, halibut, and moose meat. An inch of rotting blood in the bottom. ohmygod it was horrible. So so horrible.”
Q4] What’s something that your brain tries to make you do, say or think and you have to exercise all your strength to NOT do it?
“I had one of those “Mole, Moley, MOLEY’ moments, like in one of those Austin Powers films. It was an important meeting and he was an important person, well influential to the successful outcome I was hoping for. It took all my energy not to mention the mole that seemed to be staring at me. Taunting me. With it’s tongue hanging out.
I was so relieved when the meeting ended. I didn’t get the outcome I had wanted though. I think I still stared too much. Oh Well.”
Q5] How would you dispose of a body quickly if you only had four hours to do so, but more importantly you are not in your own house?
“I was recently asked this by a friend the other day and we determined that we would drag person out into the middle of the road and leave them there. Than along comes an unsuspecting soul who would than run over the body thus thinking that the person chose to commit suicide in the worst way. Now granted this is a very mean thing to do to an unsuspecting driver so another friend would have to be called in. All in a discussion of how to dispose bodies. We do this type of thing all the time and I am the only writer in the group. It is good to know that great friends exist.”
“I would probably take the body to the cliffs and drop in the ocean or maybe just lay the body down under some shrubs in a park. Unfortunately, we have a lot of homeless people so a body laying under some bushes wouldn’t draw immediate attention.”
Q6] So, what’s the best sandwich combination you have made recently or indeed when you were growing up and food could be eaten without any consequence?
“Peanut butter & jam sammie with potato chips (crisps across the pond) in the middle. Salty, sweet and crunchy.
Also pb & slices of sharp cedder cheese make a good sammie.
A half pear, peeled…a dollop of mayo in the dent from the pit…sprinkle with shredded cheddar. Sounds gross but it’s yummy.”
“My favourite sandwich combination is Ham, Cheddar Cheese and Pickle, either branston or piccalilli, I’m not proud.
But I don’t consider that a weird combination, although lots of people have given me odd looks when i’ve been eating that sandwich (have they never seen a man shoving half a sandwich into his mouth in one go before?). They even asked me if they went together! I said Ham Cheese and Pickle! Of course they do, like three sexual deviants surrounded by leather and PVC. And that’s probably why I had to leave my job. Enough said.
One of my weird combination sandwiches that I like is Wotsits (those cheesy puff things), Mini cheddars (those small cheese crackers), grated cheese and pickle. All squashed between two well buttered bits of bread (sounds a bit saucy doesn’t it?)
You can see why I’m not invited to many buffets.”
Q7] You’re a completely new addition to the crayon box, what colour would you be and why?
“I’d be that colour in the rainbow between Indigo and Violet that no one has discovered yet and no one can see. We are each of us unique and yet human nature seems to want to put us in pigeonholes and I don’t think there is a single pigeonhole that I could fit into. They should leave those damn pigeons alone.”
“I’d be a color called ‘chameleon’ because I can blend into the background, any background, and you won’t see me til you get zapped by my sticky tongue (kidding about the tongue part. Mostly) I can also be very vibrant in color. It changes depending on my mood and/or environment.”
Q8] What is your signature dance move?
Q9] What would be the hat to end all hats? What could you wear on your head that would make people stop what they are doing and stare in awe and amazement?
“I love hats, except for baseball caps. I am sorry if this offends people, I don’t mean to cause offense but I just thing baseball caps are just awful.
Unfortunately I rarely find a hat that fits me. Most hats you can buy generally are of standard S/M or L/XL and I find the S/M is still too big for me.
I can’t afford to have a hat made.
I do have a few trilby/homburg type hats, with shorter brims that I like to wear. I would like a panama hat, but again, if the crown is too tall or the brim too wide, it looks silly on my little head.
I would absolutely love a top hat, or an opera hat that can be compressed then with a quick tap, it pops up. I used to be fascinated by that in films.
I did once get quite a few stares when I wore my teacosy in the shape of a Cockerel/rooster as a hat.”
“I think I’d wear one of those hats that the fly-fishing dudes wear, only instead of lures, I’d have things important to ME attached. I don’t carry a purse/pocketbook/handbag, so I’d just use the hat to carry everything. A nice brilliant red or possibly purple.”
Q10] If you had to ask a really strange question of a stranger, in a strange location which was strange in itself, how strange would your question be?
“Well, when I was quite small, about 4 or 5 years old. I was fascinated by teeth. I had only just learned that some people had false teeth and for some reason the idea really seemed strange to me. I had the unfortunate habit of just speaking what ever was in my head. Although most children of that age tend to do that, I suppose. I don’t remember much about it, but my Mum likes to tell people, when we used to travel into town on the bus I would sit next to people and stare up at them. Then all of a sudden I would ask them, complete strangers, “Are they your own teeth?”. My mum apparently died of embarrassment every time. So THAT is probably the strange question I would ask strangers in strange locations. Strange wasn’t it?”
“I think with all the strangeness going on, it might all cancel out and end up perfectly normal (whatever THAT means).
So, my question would be either “Where can I get a cup of coffee?” or “Where is the restroom/potty/loo?”
I will drop all winners an email shortly – once again everyone well done 🙂