Which part of ouch are you having problems with … ?
Not sure if l should be laughing or crying at this current moment in truth. The pain is absolutely undescribable. Just come back from physio and now have all treatments cancelled.
“Sorry Rory, in all my 36 years of being in this job, l have NEVER come across a problem like this – we need serious investigation. This is a really serious injury! I knew it was a serious problem before, but l can see on your face, in your eyes and the way you are now moving that this is not ‘just’ what l thought it was?”
“Oh!!” Was all l could answer with.
“I am looking for a more recent serious trauma, have any of the following happened in the last five years or so?”
“Have you been beaten up?”
“Have you fallen off a great height?”
“Sixty to seventy foot?”
“Been in a serious car crash?”
“Not recently, no!”
“Have you been seriously slammed into a wall?”
“Have you been thrown down any stairs?”
“No, not recently.”
“Have you been hit by a car?”
“Once more not recently. … is it my bad posture whilst typing?” I ask innocently.
“No, this is serious trauma.”
“In the last five years. So it’s not the accident in the sand arena in 2003 then?”
“No, this is a really serious injury. You have a pinched nerve which is painful enough all by itself, but you also have the supraspinatus tendinosis which is also by itself already painful enough, to have them combined as you have is really unlucky, but l think you have a damaged spine and a cervical disc prolapse, and sadly you have all three together, let’s hope that the carpal tunnel comes back in your favour, or that would really, really be bad luck!”
“Oh.” Is all l can manage to grimace back.
“I have tried ultra sound and traction, but they are not working. I think it’s safe to say that we need x-rays and an MRI, we need more information, you are simply in too much pain. Worse, expect serious pain from this point onwards, heavily medicate yourself up, this could be a long journey for you.”
“Oh great, story of my fucking life ha ha!”
I hobbled out of the practice and walked off to meet Dodge, who saw me and just winced. “Shit, don’t explain mate, you look as bad as l think you feel and probably 100 times worse!”
So now l am back home, and trying to find the positive out of this, BUT l think maybe l was being too literal with the five years thing and think l have remembered the problem and where it may have started. I wasn’t beaten up, but l was assaulted in 2012 July by my bloody landlord. He half strangled me and flung my head back in a fit of aggression – l think this might be the problem with my neck. But who knows, will have to await the pctures and investigations l guess and just wait for the news that my arms needs to be amputated!!!
“Gotta laugh eh, otherwise, you’d cry.” Which with my current pain, is all l want to do.