Rules: 7 out of 10 Questions Minimum must be answered to qualify
Competition Has Ended – Here are our entrants responses
Q1] What is the dumbest way you’ve ever been injured?
“I was in the operating room, for cataract surgery (performed with a microscope). I leaned over the patient to make sure the monitors were in place, the oxygen was properly fitted in the patient’s nose, etc. When I stood up I hit the microscope so hard with my head that I fell on the floor seeing stars.”
“I remember once, driving with my friend to pick up his father from the hospital. I was driving the family utility vehicle because it was manual and my friend could only drive automatic. I dropped him off at the hospital then parked the truck. I then decided to run in to the hospital, but unfortunately I tripped over my own feet and flew through the air and skidded along the rough tarmac path. So there was I, supposed to pick up my friends dad and I ended up limping into the hospital with my knees bleeding! I felt so silly, I was even laughing because I realised how ridiculous that situation was. After the nurses cleaned up my knees and stuck some plasters on them, we all left the hospital and my friend said to me. “You’ve always got to make an entrance haven’t you!” Like I had done it on purpose!”
“The door on my Jeep was a little sticky and I have a habit of walking through things in order to obtain my objective without going “around” any obstacles, just through them… I pulled the door violently to unstick it while simultaneously trying to actually climb in, well, needless to say, that doesn’t work. Slammed myself in the face with the edge of the door so hard cut my nose and cheek and part of my forehead. Saw stars with that one but I had to laugh because it’s simple: open door first *then* climb in.”
“When I was four/five, I learned how to jump frontwards off of a swing. So in my infinite wisdom I thought I could jump off backwards. Apparently not, as I ended up breaking my arm.”
“When I was about 6-7 years old, some neighborhood kids and I decided to make a slide out of a piece of wood that was lying around. We propped one end on the back of a truck and the other end on the ground. We took turns sliding down our wonderful homemade slide.
That night I spent well over an hour lying across my mother’s lap with my naked fanny in the air, while she tweezed splinters out of my bum.”
Q2] What’s the most ridiculous thing someone has tricked you into doing or believing?
“My mother called me one afternoon and said “dad and me just got back from the vet. We had to take Sara (their schnauzer) this morning as an emergency. I accidentally took her pill for her arthritis and gave her my high blood pressure pill”. I asked if the dog was okay. “They gave her IV fluids and watched her for a while. They let us bring her home but we have to make sure she rests today”. I said I was glad and asked if she was okay taking a dog’s arthritis medicine. “Yes i called my doctor and he said it should be fine. I think my hip actually feels better, but I can’t stop barking! APRIL FOOL’S!!”
I was so mad and laughing at the same time!”
“I have not been the one fooled but the fooler. LOL I can say just about anything with a straight face and even if it is outlandish people will believe me. I once had my brother going because I convinced him that the cauliflower he had just eaten had fallen on the floor and his daughter knew it. Ten minutes I kept it up until I could last no more. My poor niece kept insisting that it had not. The second one was I was talking to a girl at work and said ‘he is as useless as trying to use a toad to whiten your teeth.’ And she looked at me and asked if I was serious. Was that a new thing? It only really lasted about 2 minutes there because I could not keep it up.”
“Ohmygod. This is embarrassing. Let me premise to say, I am gullible, okay?? Maybe less so nowadays…. Growing up in rural Alaska, my knowledge of certain things in life is admittedly limited. When I had been married less than a year, over twenty years ago now, my husband told me tales of life in the lower 48. One thing I’ve always appreciated about Alaska is we have no poisonous spiders, no snakes, no crazy bugs (and the ones we do have are bug-sized, not small pet-sized like I’ve seen pictures of). But the worst, he told me, was about the bone ticks they have down there. Bone ticks?? Yes. Bone ticks, he claimed, were much worse than regular ticks. Regular ticks simply bury their head into you and suck your blood. Bone ticks, though, have specially shaped bodies that enables them to actually bury completely through skin and muscle to embed themselves right into your bone. And apparently you don’t know they’re there for a really long time. To the point where you can get very sick and eventually even die. Now remember, this was before smartphones and widespread internet. This was when we actually went to a library to do research. So, I believed my new husband since he was born and raised there. He would know about these things. I was disgusted beyond belief. How anyone ever went walking in the woods or camping or fishing or other outdoor activities, I would never understand. The horror!! I determined that when we went to visit his family in Washington state, I would decline any offers of camping with them. No. Thank you. So…. a couple months pass and we fly down so I can meet his mom for the first time. Her and her husband are also camping and fishing folk like we are so there’s lots of common ground. One afternoon we are sitting at the kitchen table and my mother-in-law and I are chatting, get-to-know-you stuff… and of course camping gets brought up. “What I don’t understand,” I confide, “is how you can be brave enough to go camping with all the bone ticks around…. doesn’t it freak you out??” A nervous smile breaks across her face, “bone ticks?” “Yeah, you know, those ticks that bury themselves down into your bones and eat your marrow and make you really sick? Aren’t you worried about them??” A pause. Then she breaks out into a real-life guffaw “BONE TICKS!!!!” She manages between fits of exuberant laughter. I’m looking at her confused… then I see the realization cross her face as she realizes that I actually believe what I’m saying. Her eyes sweep to her wicked son. He’s barely containing himself, which I’m just now noticing. Then my own realization dawns: I’ve been tricked again!! Damn it!! We all laughed hard after that but, to this day, when he says something I don’t believe, I always ask for the qualifier: “is this True or Bone-Tick-True?”
I’m actually not easily fooled. I’m an Empath and just a wee bit psychic so I can usually tell when someone is full of hooey.
Shoot, guess I have to pass on this question.
“When I was young, I was quite a gullible little lad, when told they’d taken dictionary out of the dictionary I actually checked, but probably the person who made a fool out of me most regularly was my Mum. She loved playing April fools, and I just happened to live in the same house as her until I went to University, so I was a sitting target!
The worst case, I remember is when I just started secondary school, so I would have been 11. My form teacher was a very strict but excellent teacher who’s name escaped me but let’s call her Mrs Reilly. She had obviously made quite an impression on me because I must have mentioned her quite a bit to my Mum, at dinner or whenever she asked me how school had gone. That year April Fools day must have been on the weekend and I remember the phone ringing about 7am and I was still in bed. My Mum came in (she was always up at the crack of dawn) and told me Mrs Reilly was on the phone and wanted to talk to me. I remember feeling quite surprised that my teacher had phoned me at the weekend. I picked up the phone and a woman’s voice said “Is that you Kristian. I am phoning you because there was some extra home work that I forgot to set you, have you got a pen and paper handy?” I then ran downstairs picked up the pen and paper and dashed back upstairs only to find my mum crying with laughter and the woman on the phone turned out to be one of my aunts! How could I have been so Gullible? My picture is probably next to the word in the dictionary”
Pride aside… I absolutely believed i had won the WOKY radio station giveaway… the one where you are caller #7 and you answer a question correctly and win some huge prize. I cannot remember exactly my age or the prize being given away but i do remember it taking a summer time to finally realize i had not won. Someone in the neighborhood got me good! I mean, i blabbered on about this good fortune for all of June, July and August before falling hard into September, October and November. No one ever fessed up either. I guess they remain anonymous forever!
Q3] Where is the worst smelling place you’ve ever been?
“The one that comes to mind was a couple months ago. I was in France with French Charming and the kids. French Charming is a cleaning ninja. He cleans all the time. I wanted to be helpful and noticed the french kitty’s litter “hut” (it’s a covered box with a flap door) was smelling particularly foul. I decided to clean it. When I took the cover off the smell made me gag. So I put Kleenex up both nostrils (I looked like a walrus with the Kleenex hanging out both sides of my nose) and began to clean the box. It was the worst smell ever! Despite the Kleenex I could still smell it. And when I started scooping it got worse. I must have gagged 10 times. The kids were there laughing at me. Tears were running down my face as I laughed and gagged until the box was clean. In the end we figured out it was some new litter French Charming bought. He was instructed to never buy that brand again!!”
“The outside freezer. Apparently came unplugged during winter. Not knowing. It got warm out. I kept smelling something out near there. Finally, I open the freezer. It’s full of rotting salmon, halibut, and moose meat. An inch of rotting blood in the bottom. ohmygod it was horrible. So so horrible.”
“The worst smelling place is hard to pinpoint. While we were taking a family (the ex, the daughters & me) road trip from California to Indiana we passed several ginormous cattle ranches. We could see the funk in the air as we drove down the freeway. We would roll up the windows, close all the vents, drive very fast and try to hold our breath until we’d passed out of the cloud of stink. Truly disgusting smell.”
“Now I have some hens, so you’d think I would be familiar with the smell of bird droppings. Actually as animal poo goes, chicken poo is not that bad, in small doses. The worst smell was on holiday to a particular place famous for its huge sea bird colonies, in search for a glimpse of that elusive bird, the puffin. Sea bird poo is pretty nasty smelly stuff, because they eat predominantly fish. Their poo smells like rotting fish mixed with, well Poo, to be precise. Now a small number of sea birds, say a couple of dozen, would produce a smell bad enough to make you want to put a hanky to your nose and mouth and back away swiftly. Unfortunately this colony was made up of THOUSANDS of birds, Kittiwakes, Fulmars, Guillemots, Gannets and just one or two Puffins, at the back, far from the cameras. The smell was so bad, even though we had driven a couple of hours to get there, we just looked through the binoculars for about 5 minutes then ran back to the car to breathe and drove home. It was DISGUSTING!!!”
“My childhood home, from 1972-1985, was two houses, across the street, from a pig farm. Thirteen years of smelling those pigs and nothing can erase those noxious memories. I especially remember breezy days, on summer evenings, as being the worst.
For some years, i was reminded of those summers while changing baby diapers, of friend’s kids in the church nursery. Those diapers smelled worse than the evenings my brother and i hung out under the breezy window, to get relief from the heat, only to be ambushed with pig shit stench. (Known fact, your kids poey diapers are not known to make you gag, vomit or otherwise cause you to retch.)
Now mind you, the pig farmer was not up to code, being along the shore of Little Muskego Lake. Farmer had his tentacles in city hall and was never fined for his terrible pig-farming practices. The lake suffered, the fish suffered, the neighbors suffered, but those pigs were in heaven.”