Dear Blog … 00.21 – 22/6/18



The Catch 22 of Zombification!

I have to concede to feeling like absolute shit!

It’s not often l actually feel this bad, but currently l feel really bloody awful, although admittedly much better than yesterday, or rather the day before, as it has only just turned today from yesterday and l am referring to the previous yesterday to yesterday! But yesterday now is tomorrow, so in essence yesterday is now today!

Have another physiotherapy session to attend next Monday and l am actually dreading going. The pain l experienced after the first appointment has in essence lasted a full week, and all l thought he did at the time was pat my back a few times, but whatever he actually manipulated has reacted quite aggressively all of this week.

Making matters worse was the fricking pain killers. I finally got the pain killers l was supposed to have last Friday, literally only on Wednesday and l am still trying to recover from only one days’ worth which l took on Wednesday. A full days worth turned me into an absolute non-functioning zombie! Yesterday as in Thursday, l couldn’t bear to feel that sick again and instead of taking 2 every four hours refused to have my mind switched off like that again and simply only took one tablet all day from 8am to 7pm where l took 2 normal ibrupofen, but shortly l am to take two of the dreaded painkillers which should make me sleep.

Whilst l have not been a zombie, the previous days effects were still lingering, but the side effects knocked me for not just six but bloody twelve! I had a throbbing headache all day and felt violently ill, never mind the constipation which is still a pain in the ass, or not, more like a serious pain in the belly!

The only problem with NOT taking the pain killers is that l am not killing the pain!! So, whilst l am not a zombie as in thinking straighter than before, l am in more pain now which is a real nasty catch 22 case of Russian roulette!! Bloody arm feels like it is made of lead, and my neck and shoulder are caning me and as to my hand well if not pins and needles then just numbness.

Grr am pissed off that l sound like a moany Minnie!

Am starting to quietly wish l hadn’t gone to the damn physio now.

Bollocks, bullshit and toss is how l feel about the whole situation!

Dear Blog ……

10 thoughts on “Dear Blog … 00.21 – 22/6/18

  1. Aww, Rory… I am so sorry you are in so much pain. Please be very careful of the pain medication. I know I would rather have root canal work done on me than suffer from back and knee issues. I’m scared of taking any pain medication because of the addiction issues. Just take it easy and relax as much as you can. Feel better soon my friend.

    1. Hi Beckie,

      I hate pain medication and even this Morning l have yet again awoken to feeling woozy. However as they say, no pain no gain … l just have to keep saying that to myself over and over and over again.

  2. Those PT people can seem like sadists! My elbow was stuck in a bent position after a surgery, and the first appointment, the gal grabbed my upper arm in one hand, took my hand in the other and with a slight twist, pulled my arm straight. Talk about pain! Whew! It did get easier over time.
    I could give you the wealth of knowledge I have about pain killers and their side effects. All personal experience, nearly 20years worth, but I’m not a doctor. Neither extreme pain nor zombie mind is good for your healing, you need something in between.
    I hope you’re having a peaceful slumber and wake up tomorrow (which is your today) with very little pain.

    1. One of the problems l have is me, l am not supposed to do anything with my head except look forwards – which sounds great in the perfect world, but is not great in the real world. Everything we do as an example on our desktops involves more than one head movement alone.

      1. Maybe you should get one of those cervical collars. Ya know, the neck brace thingy. Just as a reminder to move your head as little as possible.
        I know how bad, and downright draining, pain can be. I hate to think of a cheerful, funny, clever, caring, fantastic person, like yourself, suffering.

          1. Well, for heaven’s sake put the dag-nabbit thing back on before the pain makes your thoughts travel that scary road again.
            I’m joking, and I shouldn’t. That sounds like you had some mental health issues back then. I’ve heard of being irrationally afraid of doing something violent, I think (might be wrong, probably am) it falls under the OCD diagnosis.

            1. Yes, back then, days were pretty scary – long before diagnosis of Asperger’s which helped in more ways than many might imagine.

              I don’t worry about those things anymore – l will die when l am good and ready, by the hand of nature not by my own causes 🙂

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