Am l the only one NOT falling to pieces?
11th June – 19th June
It’s All Monkey Business To Me!
I am beginning to think that being old in 2 legged terms isn’t something l would like to be experiencing if Mummy and Dad are anything to go by! Despite being the eldest in this house and ok, ok at my own concession l am not as spritely as l used to be, but l am still better off than they are.
Last weekend, Mummy spent almost the entire two days in the garden, mowing this, chopping that, slicing and dicing everything else. Dad did a little bit, but because on the Friday he went to the fizzioterapist whatever that is, he came back from there worse off than before he went, and by the weekend he was unable to move one of his arms properly.
According to Mummy, Dad injured himself before l was born and now that has come back to haunt him? Must be a bit like my Demee Mentcha, it remains hidden? But Dad couldn’t do much without making funny yelping noises and looking like someone had squeezed a lemon into his eyes! Yowcher!
But Dad kept on telling Mummy to NOT do so much otherwise she would regret it come Monday, Mummy [ who always knows best ………..] didn’t listen to Dad, and just kept on saying “Well once it’s done, it’s done!” However come Monday she was in some pain of her own with her elbow. So l guess sometimes Dad is not so wrong.
But Dad, well he is worse off than Mummy. He keeps taking yucky sweeties, and then suddenly Dad becomes almost like a zombie! He can’t seem to walk straight, he sounds funny, and he keeps forgetting things. but, even know these yucky sweeties are supposed to help him, all they are doing in my eyes is making him more of a clumsy 2 legged, and he still occasionally yelps!
“Being a ‘good little girl for Dad’s clickitty click!”
Very strange. According to Dad, he injured his neck when they didn’t know, and now his shoulder, arm, hand and spine are all in a bad place!? I don’t know what that exactly means because l can still see them, and they have always been in that place, so where the bad place is l don’t know? I have never seen him take them off and put them anywhere else, they are always on him, so is the usual place now a bad place, or am l missing something?
Either way, l have a Mummy with a dodgy elbow and well, basically a dodgy Dad! Mummy says he will be like this until everything is back where it should be, and that l am NOT to give Dad a hard time and be a good little girl whilst she is at work. I am always a good little girl l told her! So she said well maybe let Dad take a few photos of you? Really?? Why? Will this makes all the bits in a bad place come good again? I don’t think so! However l did relent a little bit … but only because Mummy asked me to.
Who knows what is going on … what l do know is this, yucky sweeties turns Dad into a funny looking upright caterpillar moving like a clumsy snail and no yucky sweeties makes Dad into a yelpie! Boy, oh boy am l glad l am just a 4 legged!!
But also when he takes the yuckies, they make him a little less patient than normal and l say this, because the other day he nearly got into a fight!!! I know, my Dad a fighter? No way!!
Recently l read an article in the paper whilst having some breakfast and came upon an interesting story about supposed experts decoding what we dogs are trying to tell our 2 leggeds? It made for slightly interesting reading, but only slightly, although maybe it means more to some of you?
Appawrently our little gestures can now be translated by 2 leggeds well the expert ones anyway.
See if you agree.
If we roll over – this means we want our tummy tickled?
Ok, from my point of view this is NOT always true. If l am sun puddling and l am warm and cosy and my belly is exposed, occasionally l like it to be tickled – BUT not always.
If we put our head forward – this means we want to be scratched?
Sometimes, but not always.
A hind leg stand – this means we want to be played with?
Well these days l cannot do a hind leg stand, but when l could it actually meant for me that l wanted to be fussed. If l want to be played with l woof and woof at Mummy. She says when l do that the entire neighbourhood knows l want to be played with.
If we turn our heads – this means we want our 2 leggeds to get something for us?
I am not actually sure about that, if l want something, l go and get it myself. If l turn my head it usually means l am looking at something.
If we raise a back leg up – this means we want to be scratched?
Well if l am raising a back leg up, l am usually weeing on a rock.
If we hover a paw – this means – get me my toy?
Erm, no, can honestly say that’s not me again.
If we crawl under something – this means we want our toy retrieved?
No, if l crawl under something l am usually getting my toy by myself.
If we flick our toy – this means we are hungry?
No, not at all, the toy l flick is my dong, and the reason l do that is to make it more exciting and it helps knock my treats out.
If we nose our 2 leggeds – this means we want to be scratched.
Ok, l will give the experts that one, yes guilty.
If we lick our 2 leggeds – this means we want to be scratched?
Not for me, if l lick my 2 leggeds l am telling them l love them.
If we head rub our 2 leggeds – this means we want our toy?
Not at all, if l rub my head on either Mummy or Dad, it is me saying l love you and l would like some fuss please.
What do you think my fellow K9rs but also, my 2 legged followers, can you see any sense from these expert observations? They suggest that these astonishing observations are impressive for non-primate mammals! Are they saying we are stupid or something? I jolly well hope not, nothing stupid about me or any of my K9 buddies!
Anyway best go, Dad didn’t take the yuckies to help me with episode and he is starting to look like a squeezed lemon again! Never mind ‘enter the dragon, now it’s time for re-enter the zombie!” Time for more yuckies l feel.
Take care guys more next time, Dad says l must work on the second chapter of my pawtobiography!
Ps: don’t forget if anyone would like to do a K9 Interview we are now at number 40 with Zeus, but l am looking for fresh interviewees. Also more feline katz would be pawsome!