Traffic Chaos …
When did the world become so utterly finnickity and hypersensitive? Whilst l ask myself that very question more or less everyday, l once more had to ask myself that question this morning.
During our Morning walk, Dodge and l were discussing the state of the roadworks currently ongoing in our village. That for some reason departments and companies here never discuss what the left hand is doing to the right and so what ensues is the usual bollocks and bullshit of traffic chaos. Bad enough in a city, bad enough in a town, but diabolical in a small village.
We have had road chaos now for about three months. Admittedly l am astonished at just how they have found the budget to have all this work carried out in our village – which is to dig up a mile or two of road in stages and change over the water and the gas piping leading to the houses. Being in stages it has meant that whilst disruptive it has at least been manageable and the only thing that could possibly go wrong is if the stupid mismanagement of road works was to conflict with another group digging up yet another road!
Which has now happened, so we have council road works digging up one half of the village aka the top roads, and now the silly road association has decided to do repairs on the bottom half of the village, which is now hard and fast starting to resemble something from Custer’s Last Stand with us stuck in the middle.
Our village is split into parts, one half the official road works side is owned by the council, and yet the other half where we live sits on unadopted roads and falls under the jurisdiction of the village folk and the Domestic Road Association – meaning that the residents in five roads pay £60 a year to cover repars.
All well and dandy, until some bright eyed and bushy tailed sprite thinks “Oh l know let’s dig up the bottom of the road and just add to the absolute confusion!”
Imbecility at its finest!
Which not just adds to the overall frustration of people looking to travel to and from work everyday, but equally raises the hostility levels of a once quiet community.
Anyway, so Dodge, Scrappy and l were walking today discussing this shambolic nightmare and as a car was approaching us on the 20 mph road we were on, doing around 25 mph, Dodge at the same time pointed to something and suddenly this car screeched to a halt wound down their window and shouted at us as being ‘Ignorant old fools and that they were doing a perfectly acceptable speed!” then proceeded to sit there and rev their engine.
Now, normally l let things like this slide, however since my visit to the physiotherapist last Friday, if l thought my months of pain were in fact painful, l was horribly wrong, for now l know true pain as the therapist has manipulated the injury to the point that l am waking up and enduring through the course of the day more pain than l had before. Additionally l am on a heavy medication, which not only makes me drowsy and talk like l have no tongue, but awards me serious stomach cramps AND ensures l have constipation, so l am experiencing more than a little discomfort – is disturbing the little sleep l do have with oddish nightmares BUT has made my normally sweet temperament a little less tolerant!
“Who are you calling old mate?” I said more sternly than perhaps l should have done.
The young chap who l guess was perhaps late thirties simply eyeballed me! Perhaps having had Suze cut my hair shorter than normal and not having shaved this morning makes me look a bit of a thug l am none too sure, however whippersnapper and old fool held their gazes longer than most without any kind of mating ritual in progress!
It is really surprising what two days of constipation will do to someone l assure you, but at that present time l was not just ready to rock and roll, but bloody well rumble if the need arose.
Dodge the diplomat was saying, ‘We weren’t actually talking about you, l was pointing at the sign.”
Whilst my Aspergian intolerance snapped, “Not my problem if you have a guilt complex and by the way for the record whilst l don’t disagree that your speed is acceptable, you weren’t doing 20mph!”
More eyeball gazing followed and l hasten to add quite impressively, l don’t think either one of us blinked!?
“Whatever tosser!” Whippersnapper bellowed.
“Yeah backatcha honey chops!” I yelled and sneered.
I guess perhaps whippersnapper wasn’t prepared for this comely attitude and looked a tad concerned, revved and sped off.
“Honeychops??” Dodge enquired. “Why did you call him honeychops??”
“I don’t know in truth Dodge, perhaps it’s this bloody medication of mine. But l think had l said tosser we may have had a problem and if, if he had punched me, l may have shit myself literally, and that just wouldn’t do!!”
I guess tensions are just high.
Anyway, must go, apparently Scrappy is wanting to use the kompootah and write her next episode of 4 paws diary and l am now starting to see the colour of the inside of my eyelids, damn this medication!